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missijoy · Feb 25, 2008, 09:48 AM

Hi,
I own my own home and my boyfriend of 5 years wants to move in but says he won't until his name is on the mortgage.
I have all ready given him the home in my will, but that's not what he wants. He wants his name on it now, so he feels "secure".
I don't understand.
I have a zero interest mortgage loan and I don't want to loose that by redoing it and getting him approved for the loan.

I have terminal cancer and tend to feel he is causing trouble and being greedy, am I over reacting or what?

I have 2 children under 10 to think about first...
My head isn't clear and I need help please.
He has contacted lawers to get this done and they refuse to talk to him.
I can't talk to my family because they are bias.

Please help me.
Melissa

nicki143 · Feb 25, 2008, 09:50 AM

This man is after your money by the sounds of it why have you left him your home and not your children do not feel pressured into doing anything you do not want to do.

missijoy · Feb 25, 2008, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by nicki143

This man is after your money by the sounds of it why have you left him your home and not your children do not feel pressured into doing anything you do not want to do.

He acts like he is wanting this for "us"

He has the chance to buy a home from his mom, and he really wants to own his own home.
That's what he tells me. So if he moves in he loses that chance.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2008, 09:54 AM

I think, the reason he wants his name on the mortgage is so, he can keep the zero interest loan. Its likely that may be called when you die. I would contact the lender and see if they will add your boyfriend to the mortgage. They may be willing to do so without refinancing. If they won't, then explain to him that the only way you can add him is to refinance and that doesn't make sense.

I'm wondering though, why you aren't giving the home to your kids. Who is going to be guardian of the kids?

missijoy · Feb 25, 2008, 10:07 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I think, the reason he wants his name on the mortgage is so, he can keep the zero interest loan. Its likely that may be called when you die. I would contact the lender and see if they will add your boyfriend to the mortgage. They may be willing to do so without refinancing. If they won't, then explain to him that the only way you can add him is to refinance and that doesn't make sense.

I'm wondering though, why you aren't giving the home to your kids. Who is going to be guardian of the kids?

In the first will I did I left it to my boyfriend with the exception that to take over the mortgage he would have to pay them 1/2 purchase price. So in the end he would need to take out a loan anyway, or make payments.
My ex husband will become sole guardian.
The mortgage company won't add him I have all ready tried to do so.

I feel like after I die why would he want to live here?
Too many memories, to start over and get remarried and stay here (we are young).

Pretty soon I will wash my hands of it and give it all to my kids I am annoyed with it right now.

nicki143 · Feb 25, 2008, 10:09 AM

I am really sorry about everything that is happening to you.

I am a single parent with 4 kids when I go my will it is written the house is for my kids nobody else my parents are listed as the guardians for them but I still have it that the house is for them people are greedy when it comes to money and I would not leave the house to him.

You are not there to protect your children's interests when you are gone do not mean to be so blunt but it is true :o

missijoy · Feb 25, 2008, 10:13 AM

I read just now in another question that you can put someone's name on a mortgage and not the deed.
When I die if it isn't on the deed what rights would he have to the property?
Could I leave it to my children?

I have a lot of ?'s sorry, I am just young.

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2008, 10:14 AM

Ok, so their father will take custody, and the boyfriend will have to buy out their half interest in the house? I think that's reasonable. If he doesn't go along with that, then tell him that you'll make it easy and just leave it to your kids.

Depending on how the mortgage is written the people on the note could be responsible for payment without having ownership of the property. What you might consider is leaving it to the kids but giving him the right to live in the house until they need the money for college.

missijoy · Feb 25, 2008, 10:20 AM

So that isn't unreasonable then...
I feel the same way.
I would love to leave it all to my children,
But he has made it clear that would be the end of our relationship.

Hello
Goodbye... hmmm

ScottGem · Feb 25, 2008, 10:22 AM

Originally Posted by missijoy

So that isn't unreasonable then...
I feel the same way.
I would love to leave it all to my children,
but he has made it clear that would be the end of our relationship.

hello
goodbye...hmmm

Frankly, someone who makes those type of demands isn't worth having a relationship with.

missijoy · Feb 25, 2008, 10:23 AM

Thanks for the advise scottgem!

nicki143 · Feb 25, 2008, 11:45 AM

I agree with scottgem toally he put what I meant into better words

lfaulkner · Feb 27, 2008, 08:01 AM

Missyjoy, I am so sorry to here about your situation. My prayers are with you. You seem so strong and have the courage to at least ask for advice. I don't know anything about your relationship with this guy, maybe your madly in love then give him the house. But you must think of your children first and foremost--they are going with you ex-husband. By some of your posts above it does seem like he just wants the house. How does he feel about your children? My recommendation based on what I am hearing is to sell the house and put the money in a trust for your kids so that they will have something for there future. Also if you are the main person on the loan (Mortgage just in your name) and you pass on, even if you put him on the deed, he will have to refinance the loan in his name. Which means he will have to meat all the banks credit and income criteria.

mafiaangel180 · Feb 27, 2008, 08:11 AM

You know, the house is posing to be a problem. Here's what I would do. One of two things:

1. Give it to the kids, and let their guardian collect the rent from it until they are 18. Maybe he could put some of it away for the kids.

2. Sell the house and everything in it, and leave the money to your kids.

twinkiedooter · Feb 27, 2008, 05:38 PM

Whatever you do don't be tempted to leave the house to this guy. He sounds like a real con artist to make you chose between your house and him. I say there is no choice in the matter. He is enamoured with the fact that he can have a home at your children's expense. You need to think of your children's future - and leave this guy at the curb in a heartbeat. Just because he says he can have a house from his mom is sheer smoke and mirrors. Just because he says he'll feel more secure is hogwash. Redo your will as soon as possible and write this jerk out of it. He does not deserve you or your kindness.

I'll keep you in my prayers, dear one.

iemitremmusi · Mar 8, 2008, 07:38 AM

It doesn't matter if he's on the mortgage loan. What matters is if he's on title. You can always do that. But the issue is also what you really want to do with the house. If he wants to be on the house you can put him on title.

excon · Mar 8, 2008, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by missijoy

but he has made it clear that would be the end of our relationship...................hello
goodbye...hmmm

Hello miss:

For someone to threaten you with THAT at THIS time, is unconscionable.

I'd tell him goodbye, see you later, don't let the door hit you in the butt. You don't need him. We're a pretty good bunch of people. We'll see you through.

excon