[ISneezeFunny]

So I recently started going on a slew of dates, and I wanted to know the general guidelines from the women.

1. Do you want guys to pay at least the first three dates if he asks you out?

2. How long should the guy wait before he asks you on a second date? Should he wait for the 3-day rule? (side question: say the date went well... do you REALLY worry about things if he doesn't call you within 3 days?)

3. When is it appropriate for the kiss?

[charlotte234s]

Okay, this is my take on this.

I expect the man top ay for the first date, but then I don't mind paying for every other date or something, or going dutch.

3-day rules is crap. I appreciate if he calls the next day or the next night and at least talks to me, or ask for another date within the next couple days.

The last one is the hardest... if she is friendly with you, like an old pal, or very romantic-like, then you should go for the kiss, otherwise, don't try it. Also, I don't (and I'm guessing most women would appreciate or at least not be put off) if you asked them if you could kiss them. :)

Just be polite and it should be fine.

[JBeaucaire]

1. The money thing, guys should court the women and be prepared to go on dates you can afford. The girl will offer to pitch in occasionally if she's a good catch. If she doesn't, something to consider. EXPENSIVE dating ideas should include cost discussion, the girl(s) need to know your means. Don't show off here, don't live on credit cards, go on dates you can AFFORD.

2. The only calling rule you need to follow is "don't be creepy." Call when you have something to say. Keep the texting and emails to a minimum, seriously, that stuff is SO easy to misread (tonewise) and it gets creepy fast if your relationship isn't absolutely 100% perfect. Talk on the phone.

3. Kissing is simple, if you're interested in a kiss, lean in to your date's personal space halfway and wait... she'll completete the distance or move away. Immediately respond to her either way making sure she knows it's OK. Kiss her if she moves in, say something about your next date if she backs off. Simple. When? That's different for everyone, no one on this forum can give a useful answer to that.

Oh, and SHE might do the "halfway" thing herself setting the stage unexpectedly for the kiss. Don't miss it.

[whyohwhy]

1. If I guy asks me out... I want him to pay for at least the 1st date.
2. I hate the three day rule... I hate all dating rules. But, I do like when I get a call the next day to tell me that he had a nice time.
3. If I am really attracted to a guy... then I am dying to kiss him and I will. But, honestly... I never kiss the guy on about 90% of my first dates. Sometimes it's just because they say stupid stuff that turns me off during the date. Recently, one guy that I went out with on a lunch date said the "F" word about 10 times during the whole date... complete turn off.

[mafiaangel180]

1. Do you want guys to pay at least the first three dates if he asks you out?

I think it's cool that whoever asks pays for the date. I don't expect anything. As a general rule of thumb, I always, always, always bring enough money to cover the entire thing. Because you never know when your dates card is declined.

2. How long should the guy wait before he asks you on a second date? Should he wait for the 3-day rule? (side question: say the date went well...do you REALLY worry about things if he doesn't call you within 3 days?)?

I think 3 days is retarded. All the girls I know would be freaking out by then wondering why they haven't heard anything yet and assume the guy is uninterested. I would send a friendly text the day saying that you had a great time and that you should do it again. Then maybe in a couple days set an actual date?? Something like that maybe.

3. When is it appropriate for the kiss?

I would at least wait for the third date. It makes the anticipation grow.

[HistorianChick]

Hi ISF! I'm going to try my hand at answering these questions... Enjoy! :)

1. Do you want guys to pay at least the first three dates if he asks you out?

I have to admit, I love to be pampered by a man. Flowers, candy, coffee, dinners, etc. First date, guy definitely (in my opinion) should pay - I love the rule "whoever asks, pays." But I also like to feel like I'm treating my guy to a meal, as well. So, yes to the first date and let the semantics of the blossoming relationship dictate who pays for the next few.

2. How long should the guy wait before he asks you on a second date? Should he wait for the 3-day rule? (side question: say the date went well...do you REALLY worry about things if he doesn't call you within 3 days?)

I think the 3-day rule is virtually irrelevant if the date went well. I went on a first date with a guy not too long ago and he texted me about an hour after I had gotten home just to tell me he had a fantastic time and to make sure I got home safe. That was precious. If a date goes well and the participants want to entertain the possibility of developing a relationship, why wait?

3. When is it appropriate for the kiss?

That question, again, depends on the success of a date and the possibility of another date. I'm rather old-fashioned and won't kiss a guy on the first date. Having said that, I went on a first date with a guy that hugged me after he put on his coat, stalled at the door - obviously wanting a kiss, then hugged me again as I virtually shoved him out the door. It wasn't pretty! Go with your gut on that question... If the girl seems like she wants a kiss, I don't think its too off base to ask her if you could kiss her! Yes, I'm old fashioned, but having a guy ask if he can kiss me shows that he respects my wishes and melts my knees ;)

These are just answers based on my personal opinions... every girl is different!

Have fun! :)

[ihatewestseneca]

Sup Sneeze,

I went on a date with this girl the other day (sunday) it was our first date, it went pretty well and I think I can help you out with the kiss question... even though I'm not a woman... haha. Anyway, she mentioned she liked to play pool, so I took her to a pool hall (she kicked my @ss) then we went and got a coffee... nice and casual. It was a good night, then I took her home, walked her to the door, and honestly Sneeze, you just know when they want it. I'm sure you know this. Anyway, she wanted it, but I didn't give it to her, I just smiled, told her I had a great time, and I hugged her, then left. Guess what, she runs out to the car, knocks on the window and plants one on me... so yeah, sometimes you just got to let things take its course naturally... let her do some of the work too!

[ihatewestseneca]

Or I'm just a stud and you aren't! Lol

[slayerbabe95]

I am a 7th grade girl who has the PERFECT advice for you.

1.If you don't have a lot of money, do one of two things
a)ask to go on dutch (you both pay)
b)make money
And you should pay for the first date... it's the most immportant

2. The three day rule is CRAP! Girls hate that... and as for the second date. Ask the girl
In a day or so... we love being special, especially for a second date!

3. Wait for a week or two. Kisses on the Cheek are respectful, romanric, and loved by a girl! Don't go mouth to mouth until about 3 or 4 weeks... your choice there.

GOOD LUCK!

[twinkiedooter]

I'm old fashioned. I think a guy who asks a girl out for a date should pay. You don't have to go on expensive dates either. Asking a girl to go dutch is downright wrong in my eyes unless you are very poor. I know I would have been a little wary to go out with a guy if he announced ahead of time that I'd have to pay my own way unless I knew of his extenuating circumstances.

Second dates are when you decide to call and ask her out. No rule applies as far as I'm concerned. Calling Thurs for a Fri or Sat date is okay.

Kissing - that's when you both have the urge or she instigates it.

[N0help4u]

1. I like a guy that pays for most if not all the dates. Depending on the circumstances and where you are going.
Never really knew a guy like that though.

2. It is nice to hear from the guy before 3 days cause it doesn't leave you up in the air if he is thinking of you.

3. Start with a small kiss on the cheek when you think she is ready, see how she responds and take it from there.



Don't know, I gave up on the whole thing yrs ago.

[ihatewestseneca]

So yet again I'm going to update my situation on a Sneezy thread, you're going to love this one...

So that girl I mentioned before, 3 dates later she tells me that she "loves" me... wowie!

This may have been rude, but I couldn't help but laugh when she told me this... I think my exact words where "Hahaha, wait what?" at first I honestly thought she was joking, but then she said that really means it. "theres nobody like you... you make me laugh so much... you're such a great guy..."

So I told her that she doesn't love me, and that she should try to realize that to love someone, you have to know them inside and out. She got mad, and said that "love at first sight" (or in this case, 4 dates) is possible. So I told this poor 20yr old girl with a 14yr old mind that that type of thing only happens in the movies... told her that I have a lot of fun with her, but the feeling isn't mutual.

I think I handled it well enough, I tried to be mature about it, but it was just so damn silly... sad to say that I don't think ill be calling her anytime soon... I'm just a magnet for needy girls I guess... *sigh*

[ISneezeFunny]

Wow. Well. Ummm... $hit.

I mean, good for you for handling it that way... but maybe less on the laughter next time west.

Prolli broke that poor girl's heart... and now she's going to run to her friends and bash your name and voodoo your @ss.

Jeez. Needy girls. Hmm. You and me both partner.

[ihatewestseneca]

I hope I don't get voodooed... I'm a valet attendant, I can't afford to be crashing cars.

[ISneezeFunny]

Crashing cars would be the least of my worries.

One of the girls I dated voodoo-ed me. Woke up with a beak. True story.

... let's just say class/work was VERY awkward...

... and drinking coffee was almost impossible.

[N0help4u]

So where does it go from here? :D

[ihatewestseneca]

So where does it go from here? :D

I'm honestly a little afraid of her... I think I'll back off for awhile, and maybe never talk to her again... I think it would just be too weird. 4 dates is hardly enough time to know if you love someone or not... unless you're my ex! Haha.

[Alty]

Okay Sneezy I'm going to chime in. Keep in mind that I haven't actually dated since I was 19, that's when I met my husband. I'm going to give you an old girls perspective, the way it was when I dated way back then. Don't worry I won't go in to too much detail.;)

1. I always went dutch with my dates, but I was young and so were they, neither of us usually had allot of money to spend so I didn't think that my date should have to spend his hard earned dough on me. If you want to pay then I think that's nice, but a girl expecting you to pay is just not okay with me.

2. If you had a good time and you want to see her again then call. Be yourself, go with your gut, there shouldn't be any "rules", after all, you want to show her the real you, so call.

3. I think it's nice if a guy asks for a kiss. I've never been shy though, so I would normally ask for a kiss if I wanted one too. Don't just plant one on her though, that would be invading her personal space. First date, second date, I don't know. Whenever you both feel it's okay that's the time to pucker up.

I hope you find that special someone. Good luck. And remember, I may be older but I've been with my hubby for 18 years, so obviously we did something right.:cool:

[ISneezeFunny]

Yeah... I mean, we laugh about it, but think about it from the poor girl's point of view... she's probably crushed. (hope I'm not jabbing into you west). I hope she learns from this however.

So... 4 dates huh west? Congrats.

[N0help4u]

Gee she can't help it you are so lovable and charming
Give the gal a break