[rockhoppermom]

My 10 year old son seems to be obsessed with a friend of his. Our lives revolve around whether this other kid can play or not. If he cannot my son doesn't want to leave the house, or wants to hurry home if we are out so that he will be available the minute this other kid can play. This is not a shared feeling; the other kid also age 10 makes it very apparent (at least to me) that my son is his last priority. For example, recently another neighborhood child (girl age 8) could have one friend over only, this other boy had the choice to be the one friend that she could have over or hang out with my son, he opted to go to this girl's house. While these incidents (and they happen frequently) discourage my son, he still seems to have this obsession. He has played 1 to 2 sports every year all of his life, but didn't want to play anything this year because that would take away from his time playing with this kid. He gives up food, sports, other activities so he can wait for this kid to play, and waits around patiently for him to come back home while this other kid goes off to spend time (nights) with all his other friends. It seems very unhealthy to me and I don't know how to make it stop.

A bit more background, my son has a LD, in the area of reading and I held him back in kindergarten because he didn't seem to have the maturity needed to advance. I have read where kids with LD's can have social problems and feelings of loneliness and wonder if he is overly obsessed with this friend to keep from being alone. (although he is alone most of the time anyway)

He has only had an obsession like this at one other time and it was with a girl that was his "girlfriend" in kindergarten and then she didn't like him after about 2 weeks but he was smitten with her for the next 3 years. He talked about her all the time, talked about their futures etc things a normal kid that age wouldn't be so focused on, it seemed peculiar but didn't monopolized his every waking moment like his current obsession does.

[Alty]

I would put him into some kind of group activity, even if he resists. Maybe boyscouts or something along those lines.

This is not healthy and you need to put a stop to it. Have you sat down with him and talked to him about it? You have to find some way to introduce him to other kids. Does he get along with anyone at school? Maybe have someone else over for a "play date" he's got to socialize with others and stop focusing on just one person.

I can sort of understand why the other child doesn't want to spend allot of time with your son, at 10, it must be very overwhelming to have someone so obsessed with you. Neither one is to blame, but if your son is ever going to have a normal friendship with anyone then he needs to learn to stop obsessing. Good Luck.

[MiaMamma]

I know your post was so many years ago, but what you have described is my 9 year old to a T. Uncanny, I was wondering if you would have any advice given you have gone through this and 5 years have passed? Hoping you are still able to receive replies. Thank you.

[Alty]

I know your post was so many years ago, but what you have described is my 9 year old to a T. Uncanny, I was wondering if you would have any advice given you have gone through this and 5 years have passed? Hoping you are still able to receive replies. Thank you.

The poster of this thread posted once, and then never returned. That happens a lot on sites like this, they're called one hit wonders. It's unlikely that the poster will come back.

If you want advice, it's best to start your own thread, and not post on old threads for advice. Posting on old threads bumps them to the top, which really isn't necessary since the question was answered a long time ago. Bumping them to the top bumps newer questions down, questions that actually need attention and advice.

Reading old threads for info is great, and recommended, but please refrain from posting on them.

Thanks, and welcome to the site. :)