Check out some similar questions!

truedeal · Feb 17, 2008, 03:45 AM

I need help I broke up with my boyfriend and decided to moved on pretty well,suddenly after months he start to make contact and we met up eventually. After meeting him I was depressed I begged him back but he is seeing someone now. I told him to stop making contact if he didn’t wanted to get back with me. He asked me to wait for three months, He will try to break up with her and ask her to move out.

Months later, few days before valentines he called that his girlfriend will move out end of the month, and he told her that he wants to get back with me. She asked him to go on a Valentines weekend with him. I begged him not to go but he just said this is the last occasion she asked to spent time with him before they broke up. This is where I feel so confused. I even sent him flowers to his work he called only after he received the flowers in the morning to say thank you and didn’t bother to call at all after that. I sat and cried and I know I shouldn’t have done it but I sent him lots of text message not to go and how bad I felt that I wasn’t his first priorities and that he was sending me mixed signals.

I have recently lost my job, I am fighting a lawsuit against my ex employers, all I do is obsess about him although I do have a very nice gentlemen who comforts me but it’s a long distance relationship but since he is from a strict conservative religious family, we only keep good relationships and meet ones every 2-3 months. Most of the time I feel I can be suicidal. NEED ADVISE I'M LOSING A LOT OF SELF ESTEEM, SELF RESPECT, I need help.!

Allheart · Feb 17, 2008, 04:37 AM

Hi true -

First of all relax and take a deep breath.

Do not feel bad for reaching out to him so many times. You were just being true to yourself. Someone that truly loves you, would not want you to act or feel so desperate.

Truth is, he has a girlfriend now, no matter what he says to you. He may be very confused and sway back and forth. But you are allowing him to pull you in to his confusion and that will take a beating to yourself esteem.

Cease all contact with him. I know it will be hard but you really need to take a break and step back from this unhealthy situation.

If he is ending his current relationship, you don't want to be apart of that. Let him end it because that is what He was going to do, not for the thought that you and he could get back together. He may end up resenting you.

What you have been doing to date... hasn't been working has it? And you are ending up hurt and not feeling very good about yourself.

Build yourself back up by doing things that make you feel good about who you are. Call and check on a friend, see how they are doing maybe they need you right now. Sometimes by helping someone else, we unknowingly are helping ourselves.

If you want to contact him - DON'T and come here. There are some very good threads here that help people in similar situations as yours. I will go and search them for you and post them on your thread.

You will be okay and you are not alone.

Allheart · Feb 17, 2008, 04:49 AM

Okay, now I know you aren't recently "broke up", but in a way you are and these tools, I think can truly help you. Most of the below you will also see on the bottom of the Relationship Expert Taliman's signature. That's where I got them from.

Now this should keep you quite busy enough and keep you from texting... you know who;)

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...tml#post780178

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...t=letter+to+ex

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...etter+to+my+ex

Stunning07 · Feb 17, 2008, 07:45 AM

Don't you think he can leave you in the future just as fast as he's leaving his ex for you... I think you should slow it up a notch.. and take it real slow.. be strong.. its hard.. but you got to show him your not weak with out him

talaniman · Feb 17, 2008, 09:44 AM

Your not losing yourself respect, your giving it away. Sorry, I don't mean to be harsh, but I do think that professional help, can guide you through the process of coping with the things before you, in a productive way, and not return to a very confused ex for help, and support. I think you should seek counseling, before you make any life changing decisions.