[Synnen]

Look, here's the thing.

Virginity has to do with whether you've had sexual intercourse.

Sexual experience has to do with whether you've done anything ELSE, from kissing to oral sex.

If you aren't asking your partner these questions BEFORE you get married, you DESERVE to feel duped. Seriously... in an age when all sorts of sexual interaction can KILL you, you SHOULD be talking about it with your partner(s).

You don't have to give details, but you DO have to be honest.

Are you a virgin after giving (or receiving!) oral sex? I'd say yes. Are you "pure"? Nope. But... if you want "pure" in this day and age, you'd better get married at 10.

A LOT of the disagreement is because everyone seems to have different definitions--it's like that scene from "Clerks". She says she's had sex with x number of people, but has given oral to x others. He considers oral to be sex, and is just disgusted at the total number.

What it comes down to, for me, is "who cares?". Either you are, or you aren't. Either you have other experience, or you don't. As long as you've been safe, and done what YOU were ready for, and an active participant in---it's your damned sex life! If someone can't accept your past sexual history as part of who you are, then they should have a few rocks thrown at THEIR glass house, in my opinion.

[Curious0-1]

I don't think so... Sex is sex. But that's my opinion! BUT WHY ARE PEOPLE SO ASHAMED OF NOT BEING VIRGINS!? I just don't get it... if you're going to regret it, don't do it... But really, it's not a bad thing to have sex. ENJOY IT.

[confused25]

I don't think so....Sex is sex. But that's my opinion! BUT WHY ARE PEOPLE SO ASHAMED OF NOT BEING VIRGINS!!?? I just don't get it...if you're going to regret it, don't do it...But really, it's not a bad thing to have sex. ENJOY IT.

For me it's not about being ashamed. Rather, its about wanting that first time to be with a very special woman.

[drunkenangel]

Aww LOL u sound like such a sweet guy!

[simoneaugie]

You cannot possibly lie. We cannot agree. Your first time with penetration you might just tell her that you've had oral sex done on you. Whether you are a guy or a girl, choux is right. It's no one's business but yours!

[giani513]

vir·gin /ˈvɜrdʒɪn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[vur-jin] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2. an unmarried girl or woman.
3. Ecclesiastical. An unmarried, religious woman, esp. a saint.
4. the Virgin, Mary, the mother of Christ.
5. Informal. Any person who is uninitiated, uninformed, or the like: He's still a virgin as far as hard work is concerned.
6. a female animal that has never copulated.
7. an unfertilized insect.
8. (initial capital letter) Astronomy, Astrology. The constellation or sign of Virgo.
–adjective
9. being a virgin: a virgin martyr.
10. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a virgin: virgin modesty.
11. pure; unsullied; undefiled: virgin snow.
12. first: the senator's virgin speech.
13. without admixture, alloy, or modification: virgin gold.
14. not previously exploited, cultivated, tapped, or used: virgin timberlands; virgin wool.
15. without experience of; not previously exposed to: a mind virgin to such sorrows.
16. Informal. Being a mixed drink resembling a specific cocktail but made without any alcoholic ingredient: a virgin piña colada.
17. Zoology. Not fertilized.
18. (of a metal) made directly from ore by smelting, rather than from scrap.
19. noting the oil obtained, as from olives, by the first pressing without the application of heat.

[giani513]

Oral sex, anal sex, Hymen... If your gay and have anal sex or oral sex, can you still

[purplewings]

What? What is the inventory list all about? Lol

[smoothy]

Virgin should be considered having never had sex with another person. Period.

Not oral penetration or anal penetration is OK... as long as the vagina is never touched.

If you want to be considered a virgin you should have abstained from sex with others. Or you are committing false advertisement.

In my opinion.

[anamia]

OK. People lose the spirit of the phrase "virginity" by trying to have a strict definition. The original intention of the word was meant to define someone who was innocent. Let me be frank, you are not innocent if you are the blowjob queen of Kentucky. I think while the old school terminology may equate solely to vaginal sex, we have to be realistic.

I think you can consider yourself as having cashed in your V-card because you engaged in a sex act. Fellatio - I think- should count. Why not? It is an intimate sexual act. Technically, you are in fact, sexually experienced.

[smoothy]

Quick question. I have seen a lot of these threads where people are confused about what constitutes virginity. I was just wondering what most of you thought about oral sex. If you have had oral sex but not intercourse, are you still considered a virgin?

I believe if any of your part touch any of their private parts or vice-versa you aren't a virgin.

Just because you are sucking on it or stuffing it up your butt doesn't let you pretend you are a virgin just because you avoided the remaining hole.

A virgin has not experienced sex... not oral sex, not anal sex, not bestiality, and not even if you were spanking his monkey.

I blame this on the Politically correctness crap.

There is no gray area here. If being a virgin is important to you then abstain from having any form of sex with another. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[Synnen]

Well, I'm a doctor of human sexuality, then.

I mean, I give people advice about it all the time.

I've examined several people.

I've taught people to have sex.

I've taken a few classes on it.

I just don't have the DEGREE.

But by Smoothy's logic, since I've done everything BUT get the degree, it means I'm a doctor.

You can all call me Dr. Synnen now.

[smoothy]

Well, I'm a doctor of human sexuality, then.

I mean, I give people advice about it all the time.

I've examined several people.

I've taught people to have sex.

I've taken a few classes on it.

I just don't have the DEGREE.

But by Smoothy's logic, since I've done everything BUT get the degree, it means I'm a doctor.

You can all call me Dr. Synnen now.

There is a difference there... You might have gone through the school... but if you didn't take that last exam to get your sheepskin you aren't a Dr. yet.

The standards for different for virgin...

Virgins haven't had sex. If she is a deep throat queen then she isn't a virgin. If she's taken on entire groups of guys anally... she isn't a virgin. Even if she has avoided that one hole.

Contrary to what a certain ex-president claims. Oral sex is still sex.

Lets further extrapolate here. Assume this was your husband. And he's fooling around with this "Virgin". Is it sex if they did everything but Vaginal penetration?

And for you guys assume this is your wife. Would it be considered sex if all she did was perform oral or anal on this other guy?

If it looks like a duck, If it walks like a duck, and if it quacks like a duck, then it's a duck

[Alty]

Now I'm stuck, when you mentioned the wife/ husband scenario you had me starting to agree with you. I would definitely consider it cheating if my husband performed oral sex on another women, so I guess I have to agree that it is sex. Like I said earlier, I think we need a new definition of virgin and probably a new one for sex too.

[NeedKarma]

Now I'm stuck, when you mentioned the wife/ husband scenario you had me starting to agree with you. I would definitely consider it cheating if my husband performed oral sex on another women, so I guess I have to agree that it is sex. Like I said earlier, I think we need a new definition of virgin and probably a new one for sex too.

Yea that's where I'm going with it too. If my wife received oral sex from a man then she had sex, but I wouldn't consider it losing her virginity, that's still the old hymen/penetration test in my books.

[Synnen]

See... there's where the problem is.

I wouldn't be mad at him for having "sex" with a virgin. I'd be mad at him for putting someone else between us, whether it's physically or emotionally--virgin or not.

Sex acts are different than sexual intercourse. Even you people trying to define it differently have to admit that.

You lose your virginity when you have sexual intercourse.

Otherwise--where's the line? Do you lose you virginity the first time you kiss someone? How about the first time you hold hands? The first time someone touches your naughty bits through your clothes?

The line is, traditionally, sexual intercourse.

I agree that people should be asking the OTHER questions, though. Finding out how much experience your partner has in general should be a good thing.

[purplewings]

I think most people are just defining it as 'being sexual' rather than going into the 'virginity' idea that so out-dated. Being sexual means just that. Touching, licking, penetrating...

Maybe we can get the word virginity removed from the dictionary.

[Alty]

See....there's where the problem is.

I wouldn't be mad at him for having "sex" with a virgin. I'd be mad at him for putting someone else between us, whether it's physically or emotionally--virgin or not.

Sex acts are different than sexual intercourse. Even you people trying to define it differently have to admit that.

You lose your virginity when you have sexual intercourse.

Otherwise--where's the line? Do you lose you virginity the first time you kiss someone? How about the first time you hold hands? The first time someone touches your naughty bits through your clothes?

The line is, traditionally, sexual intercourse.

I agree that people should be asking the OTHER questions, though. Finding out how much experience your partner has in general should be a good thing.

Darnit, I agree with you too. Guess I'll be Switzerland, neutral.

[smoothy]

See....there's where the problem is.

I wouldn't be mad at him for having "sex" with a virgin. I'd be mad at him for putting someone else between us, whether it's physically or emotionally--virgin or not.

Sex acts are different than sexual intercourse. Even you people trying to define it differently have to admit that.

You lose your virginity when you have sexual intercourse.

Otherwise--where's the line? Do you lose you virginity the first time you kiss someone? How about the first time you hold hands? The first time someone touches your naughty bits through your clothes?

The line is, traditionally, sexual intercourse.

I agree that people should be asking the OTHER questions, though. Finding out how much experience your partner has in general should be a good thing.

Guys can have sex with absolutely no intimacy or feelings for the woman... happens all the time, look what happens to so many women in high school and college when they get sweet talked by some jock with raging hormones with one thing on his mind.

Women for the most part view sex in a different light. Few women have sex with someone they have zero feelings or connection with.

And this whole argument about "is she a virgin or not" if you take a good look is all about people trying to have it both ways.

Sexually experienced virgin is an oxymoron. Sex is sex... and being a virgin is abstaining from that. And its something you can never go back to once its gone.

[Synnen]

Again--sexual acts are different than sexual intercourse.

I want to know where you draw the line, then, Smoothy. Where is the line that says you can do up to X things with your boyfriend before you aren't a virgin anymore?

It's not people trying to have it both ways--it's people trying to define "virgin" as "pure".

Virgin only means you haven't had intercourse. It says NOTHING about whatever else you may or may not have done.

If that isn't what it means---where is the line? Where do you define how much experience makes you no longer a virgin?