[AleafCRX]

I love this one kid, his name's Stephen. We've had a really rough past, we've had cheating, basically anything you can think of. Then I moved away. He came to see me every month, then I cheated on him for the first time. I thought didn't want him anymore, but I found out I did.
We both eventually went out with other people. We both broke up with them. Recently though, I've missed him more than anything. He won't talk to me because then he gets attached and wants to see me and be with me, but doesn't want to get his hopes up.
I think he's being a . Love isn't something you fall into everyday. It shouldn't be wasted.
I still love him very much and he's said he loves me, even still.
He has pics of us on his cell, in his car, in his room, even still.
I want to go down to see him and somehow change his mind. Maybe if he just sees me, he'll know what to do a little better, and me too.
I don't know if I'm in love with him and that makes it right for me to go down there. Or if I'm just attached and it's a waste of money and love doesn't exist.
Any ideas??

[talaniman]

I think your confused, and to attached, and the distance between you is greater than how you feel. Make up your mind before you spend the money. Cheating is not love, for sure, and it a little to late to go back and change your mind, and so unfair to expect him to be so keen on someone who cheats on him. I think you should save your money, take time to see how you feel, and focus on a life where you are. How old are you any way?

[Homegirl 50]

First you say you're in love with him, then you say you don't know if you love him. You have admitted to cheating on him, so why would he want to take a chance on you and as rocky as the relationship as has been, why would you want to go back there.
I think you're a bit confused and maybe even lonely. Stay away from him and get yourself together. He may still care for you, but it could be too much drama involved.
I wish you well

[AleafCRX]

Actually, he had sex with the same girl twice. Once when we were going out (right after I lost my virginity to him) and the other after we broke up.
I cheated on him like a year later, but didn't have sex with the guy.
I was stupid for not getting past that, and I've tried getting over him anyway I can. He has an easier time, but when he sees me or talks to me on the phone, he misses me...
I don't know, I just hate where I am in life right now. Isn't there any way to fast forward so I can either be over him or be with him??

[talaniman]

Sorry, life is not like that. We go through confusion to find our way, and we go through pain, to feel better. The point is dealing with life, and coping with our feelings. Spend some time making realistic goals to accomplish, and then make plans on how to achieve those goals, and get busy. Also I'm sorry to say your boyfriend loves the sex, more than he loves you, so stop wasting your time, believing what he says. If you stop listening I'll bet the confusion will be a lot less.

[AleafCRX]

How can you judge it like that? If he loved sex more than me, he would've gotten rid of me a long time ago. I got raped by his ex-best friend, but he still stuck around and helped me out. I got ****ed over by my dad, but he let me stay at his house. We've been through a lot and the fact that we still even talk somewhat is something. He drove 700 miles both ways to see me once a month. He spent $1300 on me once, not that money matters much, but he still did. He's helped me fix my car, here in in Boise, whereas he lives in Washington.
I know I didn't give all the details, but it's a little more than the black and white he cheated on me, I cheated on him, that kind of thing.
We may have a kind of ****ed up relationship, but I do love him and no relationship's going to be perfect. The chances of having a perfect relationship and being in love is close to zero.
True love comes in different forms.
Oh yeah, I do have goals. To make money and to fix up my car. It's going to be fast and pretty when I get done with it!

[Homegirl 50]

The fact of the matter is, if he wanted to be with you, he would. You lost your virginity to this guy so there is a connection there, but I think you just need to get yourself together and move on.
It will take a while to get over him, but it will happen.
BTW how old are the both of you?

[AleafCRX]

Young enough to know that I probably don't know what I'm talking about... I've heard it before. What you guys are saying is true, I just don't feel it yet. I'm sure it'll all come to me someday. You know, that "moment of ultimate understanding".
Anyway, I'm just about 19 and he's like 19 1/2. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 17. Please though, I'll take criticism, just go a little easy. I'm having a tough time with everything, not just with him...

[talaniman]

I feel your pain, its never as easy as thath is it? Just keep it simple for now, and handle what you can, as best you can, because all you can do is your best. Just learn to love yourself more is all.

[AleafCRX]

He says he has a hard time forgetting about me too, but howcome it's easier for guys to just run. To not talk to you or anything... I'm sure he loves me, but why does he always get let off easy like that...

[talaniman]

Read some of the threads posted on this forum, about how broken hearted, and stuck in stupid, we males can be.