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maria26 · Jan 17, 2006, 11:42 PM

If two people work together (once a week) and are sexually attracted to one another... but one is married can they keep the relationship as friends? One happens to be married the other single, one 20 the other 40. Can the attraction be seen by others viewing them... basically can a man and a woman remain friends despite the sexually attraction between them? Please someone respond!

DJ 'H' · Jan 18, 2006, 03:31 AM

Originally Posted by maria26

If two people work together (once a week) and are sexually attracted to one another...but one is married can they keep the relationship as friends? One happens to be married the other single, one 20 the other 40. Can the attraction be seen by others viewing them...basically can a man and a woman remain friends despite the sexually attraction between them? Please somene respond!

Well there have been times when I have felt sexually attracted towards colleagues that were also friends. I am still friends with them. The feeling either passes or even if it remains it's only lust. We are only human. I was in a relationship (with my ex) I was 18yrs when I became sexually attracted to a friend and work colleague who was 27yrs. He was also in a relationship. In the beginning we flirted like mad and he always used to send me emails and I would respond. It was harmless fun also I thought, until one day he asked more of me. I simply told him that nothing could or would ever happen because we were both in a relationship. After that the flirting stopped and we remained good friends and used to hang out a lot but nothing ever happened. We are still friends now. I still think he is gorgeous but it's something I have never & will never act upon. The feeling of love that I am experienceing with my boyfriend Pete, means way more to me than lust ( even though it does scare me).

So the answer to your question is YES!!

bizygurl · Jan 18, 2006, 06:48 AM

I think two people can remain friends despite the sexual attraction. Your always going to be attracted to other people regardless if your with someone or not or your happy or unhappy.
But as long as both people know that a sexual relationship isn't an option, than I believe people can work past that. Now on the other hand if one person only wants the friendship and the other doesn't agree and wants more, I think that can be desaterous for any kind of friendship that you want to maintain.

DJ 'H' · Jan 18, 2006, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by bizygurl

I think two people can remain friends despite the sexual attraction. Your always going to be attracted to other people regardless if your with someone or not or your happy or unhappy.
But as long as both people know that a sexual relationship isn't an option, than I believe people can work past that. Now on the other hand if one person only wants the friendship and the other doesn't agree and wants more, I think that can be desaterous for any kind of friendship that you want to maintain.

A good point - if one wants more and the other just wants friendship then it won't work.

bizygurl · Jan 18, 2006, 08:24 AM

Exactly, I was in a similar situation not long ago, The guy wanted me to give him something more and I just couldn't. We are both married and I wasn't about to cheat on my husband. And of course this man talked to me still but kept bringing up an affair and in the end any friendship that we did form just fizzeled out. For the better.

talaniman · Jan 18, 2006, 08:27 AM

As a full blooded american male married 30 years and am very attracted to the opposite sex,if you can't meet my wife then I doubt that we could even be friends,when I was single she met all my female friends and to this day they are our friends.:) So my answer is yes as long as you repect each others boundaries:cool:

DJ 'H' · Jan 18, 2006, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

As a full blooded american male married 30 years and am very attracted to the opposite sex,if you can't meet my wife then I doubt that we could even be friends,when I was single she met all my female friends and to this day they are our friends.:) So my answer is yes as long as you repect each others boundaries:cool:

Pete has met every male friend that I have (which is in fact the majority of my friends) they have become mutual friends and it's not a problem if I hang out with them on my own or Pete is there too.

saan · Jan 19, 2006, 01:05 AM

Originally Posted by saan

No, as long as they continue working 2getha, the fireworks are bound to explode. If there is a lot of sexual attraction..;1234@#%&*((
And yes the attraction can be seen by others. becaus every word, touch, move can say a lot to others watching. If this relationship is going to cause hurt and pain to others then it should be reconsidered and one of the two involved should fina another job.

Im not an expert and all advice given is purely my own opinion and thoughts!! :)

fredg · Jan 19, 2006, 06:56 AM

Hi, Maria,
Yes, one can be friends with someone who is sexually attractive. But, as others have stated, the married one must know themselves and know they would never do anything to hurt their spouse. It would be up to the married one to make the final decision whether they want to be good friends. A single, sexually attractive person, really has "nothing to lose" in a relationship, as compared to the married person.