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luvma2007 · Feb 4, 2008, 06:50 PM

Never mind u aare not helping you are judging

lobrobster · Feb 4, 2008, 07:29 PM

The only way they can get payments increased is to take you back to court. So be prepared to show your income, bills, and other child support obligations to the judge. You should seriously think about investing in a good lawyer who is experienced in this area of law.

In the meantime, they came up with this new thing called 'birth control'. This means you can have sex without bringing a bunch of kids into this world you can't afford, and who won't have to grow up without the benefit of a full time father. You should look into it.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 4, 2008, 07:34 PM

Guess you should have thought of that before you started having unprotecgted sex again,

You will have to pay child support according to the state guidelines, if not, it will be a lot harder to support them sitting in jail.

So you need to get a second job, perhaps the mother of the last child can get a parttime job.

oneguyinohio · Feb 4, 2008, 08:14 PM

You need to get a lawyer who can try to have your income figured as a factor of the number of children involved. If the courts look at the cases individually, you're not going to come out as well. I don't know if you've had any amounts refigured as you have more and more children or not.

As you've heard from others and experienced personally, without birth control sex can really get you screwed (financially).

If you call the child support agency, tell them you need to know how to file for a change in child support obligations based on your new situation. They can inform you of the process and if you will need an attorney. Legal assistance can advise you on the maximum support that can be taken...

wewed100606 · Feb 4, 2008, 08:31 PM

Well... taking the children's wellfare out of the situation... I hope you end up dead broke and fall behind on child support and they put you in prison so you can't stick it in anyone but (no pun intended) Tyrone.

Get another job, live in a box, I don't know man... it is a nice mess you got yourself into!

For the kids sake now... get all your bills and paperwork together and go to court. Good luck... the judge isn't going to like you!

oneguyinohio · Feb 4, 2008, 08:45 PM

OUCH... Is anyone going to give the guy a break? He can't be a father to any of the kids if he is living in a box and homeless as some of you seem to be suggesting. Come on, he didn't act alone in this...

twinkiedooter · Feb 4, 2008, 08:50 PM

Let the judge decide who gets what money wise. In the meantime have your present child's mom get a job to help support her own child. I guess college comes before being a mother and supporting her own child. She CAN get a job part time you know.

You, sir, should spend some time in jail to get your priorities straight if that is what the judge orders if you don't pay. Your children come first as you were part of the reason they are here. You should get a second job if that is what is necessary to put food in their mouths. And you need to keep your pants on wouldn't be such a bad idea either.

JudyKayTee · Feb 5, 2008, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by wewed100606

Well...taking the childrens wellfare out of the situation...I hope you end up dead broke and fall behind on child support and they put you in prison so you can't stick it in anyone but (no pun intended) Tyrone.

Get another job, live in a box, I don't know man...it is a nice mess you got yourself into!

For the kids sake now...get all your bills and paperwork together and go to court. Good luck...the judge isn't going to like you!

Wow - so much for legal opinions based on experience - and the part about the Judge not liking him is way off base. It's a legal system, not a popularity contest.

Obviously not speaking for you but everyone makes mistakes, some a lot more serious than others. Let's hope we all learn from them. This guy is trying to support these kids and has asked a legitimate question and no matter what the circumstances deserves to be treated with respect.

CaptainRich · Feb 5, 2008, 07:31 AM

Originally Posted by wewed100606

Well...taking the childrens wellfare out of the situation...I hope you end up dead broke and fall behind on child support and they put you in prison so you can't stick it in anyone but (no pun intended) Tyrone.

Get another job, live in a box, I don't know man...it is a nice mess you got yourself into!

For the kids sake now...get all your bills and paperwork together and go to court. Good luck...the judge isn't going to like you!

This looks more like you prefer being judgemental to giving advise.

I hope you never find yourself in a bind.

GV70 · Feb 5, 2008, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by luvma2007

...but this is unreasonable.

How do you think-what is reasonable:confused:

luvma2007 · Feb 5, 2008, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by lobrobster

The only way they can get payments increased is to take you back to court. So be prepared to show your income, bills, and other child support obligations to the judge. You should seriously think about investing in a good lawyer who is experienced in this area of law.

In the meantime, they came up with this new thing called 'birth control'. This means you can have sex without bringing a bunch of kids into this world you can't afford, and who won't have to grow up without the benefit of a full time father. You should look into it.

Excuse me I am his girlfriend and he is a great father to his children they love him. Sometime relationships don't work and you should not judge so quickly he was married for 7 years before she started cheating on him. His first daughter was born without him even knowing and we kept my little girl because there is a chance that I may never have children again she is a miracle and I wanted her.

JudyKayTee · Feb 5, 2008, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by luvma2007

excuse me i am his girlfriend and he is a great father to his children they love him. sometime relationships dont work and you should not judge so quickly he was married for 7 years before she started cheating on him. his first daughter was born without him even knowing and we kept my lil girl because there is a chance that i may never have children again she is a miracle and i wanted her.

Before you jump on everybody here, take another look at the answers - I didn't jump on him but now I'm going to jump on you - he is not a great father if he can't support his children and whether your partner cheats on you has nothing to do with how many children you can afford.

And, yes, I think the sarcastic remarks were totally inappropriate and out of place on a legal (advice) Board.

His only choice is to go to Court/back to Court and request a redetermination of his child support.

twinkiedooter · Feb 5, 2008, 02:15 PM

luvma2007 disagrees: you are prejudging

Luvma2007 like I said you need to go out and get a part time job. Just what part of my previous post was "u r prejudging" about? I was not prejudging anything. I was just going on the basis of what was in the OP and nothing more. The fact that the other woman cheated was not mentioned. The fact that you kept your child for miraculous reasons was not mentioned either. Both "excuses" have nothing to do with the fact that he still owes for the previous children financially.

Like I said, the Judge will have to winnow the facts out in court. And in the meantime, you can find part time employment to help out with the bills in your own household. I believe this is the basis for your "reddie" comment to me.

I notice that you must agree with what WeWed had to say as you didn't mention his post at all about living in a box, etc.

wewed100606 · Feb 5, 2008, 02:18 PM

I am pretty sure everyone who posted gave advice along with their judgment. My whole point being a lot of people bring children into this world in less than desirable circumstances that are completely avoidable.

You and him have no one to blame for your situation but yourselves and that is all a lot of us were getting at. Why weren't you on here asking how to prepare to bring a child into the world... you know maybe a little prior planning.

I hope you guys figure everything out, but it ain't going to be easy. In my first post I just didn't feel like repeating the advice already given which was correct. Get all your paperwork together and go to court to try and get things adjusted, it is your only hope other than trying to make more money.

For the girlfriend... there are a lot of programs out there to help single mothers WIC and healthcare assistance, child care assistance, etc. There are ALMOST NONE to help single fathers. You are going to be in the better position to help this child, so you should really start doing some research on federal and state government programs that could help you and the baby out.

I didn't mean to judge... well... yeah I did... but I shouldn't have. It is just frustrating to me when there are children involved. Much love.

Here is the motto I live by you should give it a whirl:

It is called the 7 P's

PERFECT PLANNING PRIOR PREVENTS PISS POOR PERFORMANCE

dunno · Feb 5, 2008, 05:37 PM

Well here is my 2 cents.

Yes he needs to support his other children. And yes, you have to think about what you can afford before having more kids. But what about the other side?

Look at it this way... If 2 people have a child they probably spend a certain amount on that child. If they decide to have another child, what they spent on the first child would probably decrease due to having another mouth to feed. If they spent x amount on the first child, for say clothes, after having another child they probably wouldn't spend as much on clothes for the first child. They would split it between the kids.

But, like in my BF's situation and many others, his ex wants to have another baby. When she does, she will take what she spends a month on my BF's child and cut back to afford the next child. My BF doesn't get to do that. He still has to pay an outrageous amount for his first child, whether he has another child or not. There is no cutting back on what is spent on his first child. He has to keep spending that set amount.

Sorry, but I don't think that's right at all.

lobrobster · Feb 5, 2008, 06:18 PM

Originally Posted by luvma2007

excuse me i am his girlfriend and he is a great father to his children they love him. sometime relationships dont work and you should not judge so quickly he was married for 7 years before she started cheating on him. his first daughter was born without him even knowing and we kept my lil girl because there is a chance that i may never have children again she is a miracle and i wanted her.

Hey, I give him credit for not skipping out and at least trying to do the right thing for all concerned. I gave him legit advice about getting a lawyer who specializes in divorce and child support. It's a worthwhile expense. And I'm sure you wouldn't trade your daughter for anything in the world. And I would never suggest you should you want to. But in the meantime, forgive me if it seemed like he wasn't too clear on birth control. If you have kids, you got to support them.

oneguyinohio · Feb 5, 2008, 06:42 PM

If you thought I was too judgemental, or didn't like the assistance I tried to offer, I would enjoy hearing better advice so that I can offer it to others in the future who may have a similar situation.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 5, 2008, 07:53 PM

Yes, you came here wanting advice, you got it, you are stuck paying the court ordered child support, there is no way to get out of it,

Beyond that yes, but personally I hate to hear dead beat dads not wanting to pay the legally required child support. Those children were first, there is a legal and moral responsibility to them. And he knew how much his support was before he had another child, really hard to feel real sorry for someone.