[Bardonicus]

I can agree with that, so I'm on a spiritual quest of some sort. I'll give it a go and I'll post back my results in a few days to let you guys know what I have found. Thanks again for all the help.

[Bardonicus]

What are the so called rules of life? I mean life is just one big complicated system which has it's laws and it's effects. How can I go about learning the rules? Surely you need to know the rules before you can be good at the game?

[firmbeliever]

Learning the rules of life... that is a tall order.

My suggestion would be start with different religions views on life. I could provide a link for my own beliefs maybe someone else could help with theirs.

The Purpose of Life by Khalid Yaseen , Does Life Has a Purpuse?

Hope you find, your purpose in life...

[Bardonicus]

Religions go on faith and belief and are so radically different on some rules and so similar on others. Surely there has to be a set of universal rules that applies to all mankind. It is those universal rules that I am interested in learning.

[Cheshire2008]

I would try a book " Many lives many Masters" I love that book its by a psycologist
Brian Weiss
Have fun

[Bardonicus]

I am still trying to get a hold of it, thanks it sounds like a great book. I think my problem might be with self love and the relationship I have with my true self.

[L-001-06-H]

I have come to a place in my early adult life where I feel that I have little to no meaning. Every day I wake up and go to work (which I do enjoy) and come back home finding myself thinking the same old thoughts. It feels like my career has become the meaning in my life which is the last thing that I want. I have goals. I have lost a lot of motivation to complete them because when I do get high marks for that exam or when I stop that bad behavior then I'm left with a feeling of emptiness. Maybe a 2 second feeling of achievement then nothing. People often think that I failed after an exam etc. because I don't look happy when in actual fact I get 95% average.

Setting other goals have become boring and doesn't excite me anymore. Is this as good as this gets? Is this it? If it is then I fear that I may not survive it.

Try going out, meeting people, perhaps you'll find the love of your life... if you do.. just remember, love is just an emotion... was the meaning in my life...

[forevernow]

Bardonicus, you are on the quest to find yourself. You're searching for happiness, a state of being, and that happens when your thoughts are subsided and your mind is quiet. You can check this out by seeing that when you are "kissing in the rain" and "fall asleep watching the stars next to somebody I care about" you are Being in the moment, not thinking about anything, searching for any answer, or worrying about financial situations.

You get there by continuing on the quest that you're on right now, which is the irony. So be in the moment of your quest to be in the moment. Keep looking for the answer to your questions "What really makes me happy? What is worth going for?" from every possible sources, until you find that the answers can only come from within you. Most of the answers are to show you ways to distract you from your thoughts so that you could be in the moment and be happy through the various activities. The only true happiness you find is when you have found yourself.

Enjoy your journey and have fun with this quest that you are on right now.

[psiloveyou]

I can honestly say lately I've been feeling the same. (I'm new on here by the way.)
I'm planning to start university in September, and am also working part time. And I spend a lot of time questioning whether this is all there is to life. I don't feel any sort of achievement. My work is a decent place, but it all still feels like a chore. I guess its just that you have to find out what you really want out of life, and once you figure that out, you're more likely to go after it instead of just following what you have to. I'm not quite there yet but I'm trying lol.

[Bardonicus]

I'm sinking further and further into this hole of unhappiness and I know that if I don't find an answer soon then I might not... I don't know. Is this really all there is? If it is then is it even worth it?

[Bardonicus]

I read so many posts of people all with the same problem and I have to say that it does not help to know that I am not alone anymore, If anything it is a confirmation that things are not going well with humanity. There is a huge group of people out there just like myself all having the same problem yet there is nothing being done. Not by ourselves or by anybody else. What are we waiting for? Some Messiah to take all of this away? It's not going to happen. Waiting around for an answer or something to happen is killing me. Sticking around and doing the right thing doesn't pay off. That much experience has taught me. What the hell is up with everybody? How can you just be going through routine and be happy with it all? Aren't you seeing what I'm seeing? Are you insane? Or am I insane? Just give me the truth and I'll deal with it but this waiting around and enduring this life that should be good. Waking up and wondering if there will come some time that things will change. Some huge event that will make life worth living. Not that I want to kill myself. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for living but clearly I'm missing something that is obviously very important to living this life with purpose and passion. No more of that 'you have to find your passion' crap. I tried.

[psiloveyou]

I don't agree with people who say 'find your passion'. I agree with you. Life seems to be monotanous. But sadly nowadays many people have accepted that as a way of life- you work to live. You don't have time for anything else. It shouldn't be like that but it can't be changed until people accept that that's how it is and work together to find a way to change it. Your not insane. Your feeling what many others are feeling, and we all need help in changing that. Sadly I don't have the answers, and I know my opinion doesn't help, but I just had to say something.

[Violet31]

I´ve reading this thread with interest, because I seem to have the same problems.

I used to wait for things to happen, but nothing happened for many years, so now at fifty, I´m reevaluating my life.

It wasn´t always like this. I think life goes in cycles. In my thirties, I led an adventurous if a bit frivolous life. I travelled all over the world, I had a good husband and good friends, fun job to do and had enough means to work as an artist. I remember waking up every day thinking: What fun will there be today?

It didn´t last - but it lasted a long time, though. Now I´m used to my boring life, but still - I´m a beliver in fate as well as making your own luck. I think the secret is being with people who are good for you and not taking life too seriously.

Easier said than done! Also, I think I had more fun because my moral code was not too strickt then. I had platonic lovers, lots of free time and lots of quality time with my husband. We had a semi-open relationship, not too uncommon in Europe where I live.

Something I wouldn´t dream of doing now. Maybe it´s the prize we pay for being totally responsible... but I hope not!

I think the fun is out there. Really, I do.

Violet

[forevernow]

Bardonicus, if you want the quick answer, read a very short book called, "No Attachments, No Aversions" of Lester Levenson. Then go away by yourself for at least 3 months and search deep within your heart for the answer you're looking for. I promise you, if you really search within, you will not go without. Otherwise, no external answer will satisfy your question.

[Bardonicus]

I have heard of that book. I'll try to get it. Please if anybody else is reading this and they feel the same then post your opinion or even just let us know that you feel the same way. That way we may even be able to find an answer.

[Bardonicus]

Okay, so I read the book forevernow. There seems to be three main discoveries that he made regarding life.

1) It's loving rather then being loved that is the root of happiness.
2) Intelligence and thought is the activator of ANY and ALL things that happen in life.
3) We are all part of the same source. All drops in the same ocean.

It seems that he overlooked one or two things in his teachings.

1) Everybody can't make practical use of these teachings in the same way. It seems that every person has their own way of using the above knowledge to free themselves. What works for you does not always work for me.
2) Letting go of every other emotion except the feeling of loving is over simplifying things a bit. I mean we have dozens of emotions and this guy is teaching to let go of all of them except one. So we just ignore 95% of our being? Unreasonable.

The most important thing that I do think that he missed but almost touched on it was self love. That really seems to be the key behind everything that he discovered. Self love. Sounds very new age bull but I think that this may be a overlooked state of mind.

Question: How can one increase self love? How can one cultivate that state of mind?

[forevernow]

Now that you have some idea of the direction and see a few things through your own inner vision, it is correct that not everyone prefers to make practical use of what one person did, but everyone can. You will probably go through various methods of finding the ultimate answer, and there will probably be one that you like the best, which is good. The main point is to head in the right direction to find your answer.

Your second point requires a bit deeper understanding of the relationship between desires, wants, feelings/emotions, and thoughts. Desire to live creates want for security/survival. This want of security/survival creates wants of approval (love) and control. If someone we love does not love us, we try to make them love us through some kind of control. If situations don't meet our approval, we try to control it. From these three wants--survival, approval, control--come all our (negative) emotions. The most basic ones are apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride. From these emotions arise every other emotions. These emotions create thoughts.

Love is not an emotion. It's always there. It's who we are. We can check this out for ourselves. When we love someone, like our first love, we feel very happy because our mind is very quiet at that moment. We have no worries, fears, no other emotions except love. We just want to be there, in that moment. The main thing is to totally quiet the mind so we can feel our happiness. So, from your question, we cannot increase that which we are, but we can remove what we are not--the emotions. To cultivate this state of mind is to have the intense desire for it--which you already have. What is left now is to find the method that you like best which will take you there.

What other concerns do you have?

[Bardonicus]

So every other feeling except love isn't part of us? How can't they be part of who we are? Those emotions are definitely real and reside within myself.

[psiloveyou]

I totally agree with bardonicus about this to be honest.
I agree that love is a natural feeling that we all have.
But for some people, jealousy/anger etc are also a natural thing.
Its our emotions that shape who we are as individuals and if we ignore these emotions all the time, we will be ignoring our very self and will become an empty shell of a person who is dead to any kind of emotion apart from love.
Love cannot survive on its own. Love is born from jealousy and lust, and forms into a pure emotion that provides us with happiness. But love can also prove to be a bad emotion if someone does not love you in return or you cannot find how to love yourself.
So without other emotions, how would this even work?

[Violet31]

Bardonicus,

Maybe we think too much instead of live life.

I don´t think we should work and work and be unhappy, waiting for something wonderful to happen. Each day should have enough happiness in the small details. The rest will follow in time.

I was once told that it is wise to live each day as we would live a whole year. Embrace the day in the morning and ending it at night when we sleep to get ready for yet another day.

I´m trying to make the quality of my life better. This morning I started having a different brand of coffee, listened to a different brand of music and had lunch in an unexpected place. I went to the gym after work but stopped at a store and bought a new gym outfit.

Tomorrow will be totally different, but it´s miles away yet.

I am winding down for the night and I will be watching a favorite movie just before going to sleep.

Violet