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weldergirl06 · Feb 4, 2008, 09:38 AM

The father of my unborn son and I are no longer together. He isn't a good role model, but I know that isn't enough to convince the court that he only have supervised visits every other weekend. He excessively drinks and smokes, falls asleep with food on the stove all night and falls asleep at the wheel in the middle of the day. I feel like he is incapable of properly caring for my son and it would be dangerous to put my newborn in this situation. He tried to isolate me from my family and friends and has attempted to mentally abuse me. I fear he will do the same to my child. He broke up with me because I am a strong person and I did not bend to his will. The problem is I have no proof of any of this, it's my word against his. What should I do?

George_1950 · Feb 4, 2008, 09:53 AM

It is hard to believe you have no friends or family who could be witnesses. Have you separated? You can't be living on an island, so there is plenty of time to develop additional evidence. Also, it is unlikely that he will get over night visitation before your baby has developed over night habits, such as staying in bed, dressing itself, etc.

Marriedguy · Feb 4, 2008, 10:34 AM

I truly hate to see anyone in this position. First, you are kind of putting the carriage before the horses. From the post it appears that you would be better off without him being in your life. He sounds like real loser so what makes you think that he will want to be a part of your son/daughters' life? He may not and then your are worried for nothing.

Second, the laws vary for state to state. In NY one of my co-workers' wife filed a complaint that he was selling/smoke weed and he had guns in the house. He was drug tested in had weed in his system this was enough to the state mandate supervised visitation. The co-worker had to be regularly drug tested and once he was good for six months straight full visitation rights were granted.

Does he have DWI's? When you said smoke does is that only cigarittes or does that include some type of drugs?

Keep in mind that people change and for that reason I wouldn't force supervised visits. Becoming a father may change him for the better. Like the co-worker he decide to stop smoking weed.. and actually fought and won full custody of his sons.