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    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member

    Feb 14, 2006, 02:49 PM
    Yes you do. It gets women in trouble all the time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,225, Reputation: 10853

    Feb 14, 2006, 04:44 PM
    Of course you will be there for him,he has driven one women crazy and now ,instead of dealing with his life,he has another female to give him sympathy and love... YOU!
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member

    Feb 15, 2006, 09:29 AM
    Priscilla - wait for the divorce.
    confuzed's Avatar
    confuzed Posts: 34, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member

    Feb 21, 2006, 01:59 PM
    I would steer clear of this messy marriage if I were you. In my own experience I have seen that when someone just gets out of a marriage they probably are better off with time on their own so that they can learn how to take care of themselves and be by themselves again. Are you sure you have all the facts or is all of this just what you hear from the husband? Many times the instigating behavior is left out of the conversation so that you won't know what you are getting into...
    Tommyp!972's Avatar
    Tommyp!972 Posts: 300, Reputation: 36
    Full Member

    Feb 28, 2006, 08:16 PM
    This goes for priscilla and jenbry... it's reality check time...
    If he didn't dump the wife by now odds are he's going to stay... because "I can't do that to the kids".. or
    "I may not love her as much but i can't see her hurting herself and leaving the kids to take care of themselves"...
    If you tell him that you were seeking help and he responds that "They don't know anything about me or "Whatelse did you think they would say" just leave right there... everyone here doesn't want to see what happened to them or someone they know happen to you.. even though they don't know you just remember you asked them for help and that's a sign that you know it isn't right in your heart...
    Take the advice.. split apart and don't see the guy.. hook up with a bunch of friends for awhile and find out what is missing in your life... most of the time I heard it was loneliness and seeing everyone else have somebody to be there for them... strong reasons to date but not strong enough to break a family
    VLynn123's Avatar
    VLynn123 Posts: 35, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member

    Mar 1, 2006, 09:02 AM
    It's difficult to make tough decisions when your feelings are involved. But the best thing is to wait until the divorce is finalized. If you're relationship is meant to be, then you two will be together again.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member

    Mar 2, 2006, 09:43 AM
    When a person gets into a car wreck, getting into another car and driving away isn't always a smart thing to do. His pending divorce and failed relationship is a car wreck.

    You're probably better waiting for the divorce, and even then you need to realize that the ex is still a part of the situation. Even if the divorce is ugly and he wants nothing to do with her, she still may very well find ways to be around. After all, there are kids involved.

    Have a friend who's gone through divorce (husbands idea) and I love her, but I swear she went nuts for 2 years. She made bad decisions and irresponsible choices that she never would have made when her marriage was still together and strong.

    I had a 6 year relationship end, wasn't married but expected to be, and I know it was 2 years before I was really thinking clearly again.

    The wife might be acting nuts... and I think she to some degree it should be expected, even if she left him.

    The guy also may not be thinking clearly. Not saying he wouldn't want to date you, but I would hope that the kids are his #1 priority. He has a responsibility to them first. That doesn't mean its wrong to date you... but I just don't think a person in his position KNOWS what he wants yet. You might be exactly it. But my guessing is right now you are emotional security and the comfort of another in a tough time.

    If you choose to date him that's your prerogative. You just aren't allowed to complain too much if it gets messy. He's not even through a divorce yet. It doesn't necessarily end with the papers signed.

    And if there are kids involved make sure you are willing to be supportive of them and willing to put up with some hard feelings. Their mother might very well make them believe you were the reason they divorced. The separation might have been her idea, but what about the divorce? My experience is that kids see the truth in the long run. My stepdaughter HATED me for the first 1.5 years I dated her mother. Eventually with interest and thick skin I won her over.

    You're going to need patience and thick skin if its going to work. And a little luck hoping that his emotions, however strong and real right now, are not just of convenience. Lots of baggage to get in the way. Your choice.
    invested_4's Avatar
    invested_4 Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jun 20, 2006, 02:23 PM
    You should definitely leave him. I was in a "relationship" with a married man and for two years he claimed that he wanted to be with me and that they were in the process of divorcing.. well one day a coworker advised me that his soon to be ex wife was pregnant with HIS baby. He conveniently left this information out and was upset with me because I was upset with him. I figured out that he got her pregnant right around the same time that he professed his love for me.

    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member

    Jun 21, 2006, 03:11 PM
    I've said it 1 million times here. A MANY married man WILL lie and cheat and steal from you to sleep with you. THEY WILL USE THE HELL OUT IOF YOU.

    The yalways promise to leave but there is always some bull**** reason they never leave their wife.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692

    Jun 21, 2006, 03:57 PM
    First rebound relationships while very "hot" at first seldom last, it would really be good to stop for a while and let him get divorced, the divorce will take enough of his emotional energy.

    Next if he did not care for his ex some, he would not care if she did kill herself, ( sorry but I seldom have know a couple going though a divorce that really did not want the other dead.
    And of course she has no say if he can or can't see the kids, that is up to the judge and the child custody and visitation agreement.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
    Ultra Member

    Jun 22, 2006, 08:15 AM
    Just to clarify I did not mean every married man, but many will lie cheat steal to sleep with a gulible woman. Always.

    This just shows a huge difference in how men and woman think. Al ot of (insecure) women will believe anythng a guy says when she is in love. It can go on for years!

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