[TrueFaith]

Yeah but Isneezefunny

Most people that do brake up. Wants to change themselves. Sometimes for better sometimes for worst.

So has become the thing she never wanted to become you should laugh at her for being weak ;)

Let her drink her self into a pit we all know how much better drink makes our lives right? LoL

Regards

[MissingHim2Much]

I sometimes wish their had been red flags. It's like getting blindsided by a truck when you don't know their unhappy or thinking of leaving. He never indicated he wanted out and he never treated me any differently.

One day everything is wonderful then bam he tells you he is leaving and you never saw it coming. I never became clingy or smoothering because he never became distant or pulled away.

I didn't even know it was over until 20 minutes before he left.

It was honestly great for 7 yrs then he was gone... JUST LIKE THAT!!

[dansk]

See, i did that... I courted my ex for 5 months before i asked her to be exclusive, even though, i knew she wasnt seeing anyone else during that courtship. Then when we were b/f and g/f i fell for her hard, gave it everything i had for 2 years. stupid college. oh well, right now i feel like its just a shame that its come to this, very disappointing.

Sad part was...

I was doing Great in college
Then when the roller coaster
Began I was so stressed I
Withdrew from 3 class and
Got an F in one.. I couldn't
Pull myself back. Here's the
FUNNY PART.. my ex got an
A AND B plus in both class..

Selfish people..
I give all I could give..
After the break up I
Stayed for 7 months
Begging like a fool
Thinking There would
Be another chance.. silly
Old me.. I just needed
To let go.

[life1973happened]

Good evening dansk...
I disagree with you. You were not a fool, you reacted in a very natural way. You were hurt, lost and searching hard for answers. It says a lot about your character when you looked within yourself first, for any mistakes made, during the relationship.

Don't you see so many other people blame the other right away or lash out in anger? You didn't do that. That doesn't make you a fool at all, quite the opposite in fact. You gave that relationship, it sounds like, everything you had and more. For the price you paid was suffering, a fall in grades, a complete distraction.

However, you walked away from the relationship when you were spent, tired and completely out of energy. But you walked away with the same integrity you started with.

Please... please don't think for a minute you were a fool. Someday, if they haven't already, somebody will be grateful you walked away, fool and all...

[dansk]

Hey 1973

Yea your def right on that! I will get over
This eventually... and there will be someone
Waiting for me. I started school this week
So I've got many things to look forward to.
I do feel happy when I think about it.. knowing
I tried and did my part and if it wasn't good
Enough then they weren't for me.

All right... I"M NO FOOL! :)

[yeye82]

I have similar experience. He just want to get what he wants to make himself feels good/better, and he'll walk that extra mile... In actual fact, he has nothing...

[little firefly]

Oh my... Where do I start! Well, when I met my ex boyfriend I didn't want a relationship. I wasn't even interested in dating at that time. He, however, kept pursuing. He would come to the club I hung out at just to see if I was there. He always made sure I had a drink, would get my coat at the end of the night for me and then escort me to my car. All my friends told me that he was really into me (maybe a bit too much) and that I should give him a chance. I remember telling one of my guy friends that I didn't want to risk this guy falling for me, to which my friend replied "it's too late, he already has" I knew how much he liked me when he made a special trip to the club to celebrate New Years eve with me (he's a Jehovahs Witness and dosen't celebrate holidays), so I relented and went on a date with him. He took me to a beautiful restaurant, and made me feel special the whole night. I decided to continue dating him.

The first several months I would get texts from him all throughout the day telling me he loved me, he missed me, couldn't wait to spend time with me, I was the best thing that ever happened to him, he wanted to spend his life with me, etc, etc. If at any time he felt that I was angry at him about anything, he would become upset to the point of tears because he wanted nothing more than to make me happy. When we would go out I never had to pay for anything. Never had to open a door for myself. He treated me like I was one of the most precious things in his life. When I fell for him I fell HARD!

A year into the relationship things changed. The texting almost stopped. He wasn't as affectionate with me. He would get a bit irritated if I felt hurt when he would break any plans we had made (he would break them at the last minute. A few times I was on my front porch waiting for him to pick me up). If I would send him a text it might be a couple of days before he would answer. I felt hurt, confused, insecure, and depressed. I became needy and clingy... trying desperately to hang on to something that he was taking away (which remember, I had not wanted in the first place, HE DID).

When he finally broke up with me I took it so hard. I did all the typical stupid things. I begged, cried, pleaded, basically made an idiot of myself. A month after the breakup he fell in love with his best female friend. My confidence took a nosedive. I felt worthless. I just knew that there was something wrong with me.

I started trying to figure out ways to get him back. One day I stumbled onto this site. I made my first post. I wasn't thrilled when everyone here told me that I should move on, and let him go. I didn't WANT to let him go, I wanted him back! Little did I know that everyone here was right. This place was my saving grace. Thanks to so many others here who have gone through the same thing, I knew I wasn't alone, and that I had done nothing wrong. It took almost 9 months for me to recover, but I did! I'm not quite ready to be with anyone else yet (I'm afraid to let anyone in right now), but I know that time will come, probably when I least expect it. :)

[yeye82]

Yeah, letting go is the best way. Come to think of it, I didn't even want him in the first place. Literally, he's not supposed to be there, just did... like a stain...

[HistorianChick]

Yes, he's a stain...

But just think of it as tie-dye.

The result is prettier than before.

Don't let him win. You're stronger than that!

Pithy saying for the day: When life rolls you lemons make lemonade!! :)
(A blind friend of mine told me that once and I've never forgotten it. If anyone knows how to make lemonade from life's lemons, its her!)

[dansk]

Yes, he's a stain...

But just think of it as tie-dye.

The end result is prettier than before.

Haha I like how u wrote that...
Think of it as tie-dye..
Never thought about that.
Good advice miss ;D

[HistorianChick]

You should see me! I'm all tie-dyed-up!

Maybe that's why I adore rainbows so much... ;)

You're well on your way to having your own beautiful tie-dye to show the world. You've come out of something devastating and you're turning it around into something that is going to help you become the awesome person you will be. That's the cool part about experiences...

Experiences don't define us, they just help make us into who we are. When you look at a person, you don't see "trying to get over a break up" plastered on their foreheads... you see the inner strength, the character, the will to get up and move on... and you stand in awe...

That's tie-dye, my friend. :)

[Simple Asian]

well who doesn't ? Well not everyone but most of us are like that right ? Hell I am one..

it just hard but you will get used to it and move on and start all over again... and then fall again >.right.. the thing is that you learn every time you fall and try to not fall again next time

and even you fall next time.. you learn something that and you will be like I would do different next time and try to make it better ^^

[N0help4u]

That is why at 53 I am single and loving it!
It is all I have ever known with any guy.
They are Mr. Perfect for a month, a few months, whatever it takes until they feel they have you wrapped around their finger and then they start the red flags but you are so into them you write it off. Then later down the road they start really taking you for granted. Then comes the part where they show their real colors and start the attitude that shows they have absolutely no respect for women and you wonder why they even bothered if that is the way they feel. Then they keep digging away at you and how you are stupid and can't do anything right even though they are the ones that will not do anything and leave EVERYTHING up to you to do.

Then there are the ones that ARE clingy and whiny and put you up on a pedestool to the point of making you uncomfortable, even feeling somewhat embarrassed and you have told them consistently that you are not interested in them in any way, shape or form
But they keep nagging for you to go out with them but you know they aren't your type.

Then people say you automatically attract a particular type of guy. No matter what I do I sure haven't figured out how to attract that different type of guy that I could be happy with

Oh well, Like I said seems I am better off without.

It is best to just look to your goals and work toward them.

[jeffatl]

"I think anybody that has ever loved another has felt this kind of pain" So well put here it needs to be said again. The crazy part in this situation is this is where we learn NEVER to love like we have before. I know when my heart was ripped out it really taught me to place importance on ME first, and the person I love next.

I don't really think placing someone so highly in our lives is a bad thing, IF you learn from that situation and learn to make YOU #1 first! I think the crazy part is thinking how you made that person in your life such a priority that you forget about yourself... and that's when things change. It's almost like a sense, that both of you have but don't realize it... but it dawns on both of you when it happens.

Everyone who has had a "1st love" knows what that pain of "going too far" and placing too much on someone else is... and that is just a part of growing up. People that will have solid and lasting relationships later in life laern BALANCE, and this can be the hardest part.

When you truly care for someone ( I do now so I know how it feels) you want to SHOT TO THE WORLD and let every part of you go, but you can't. The thing you learn is balance, and the way to keep things alive in the relationship. No two people will work the same in this sense, but it is a must for any relationship... a balance of power if you will.

One you make someone other that you #1, you lose. It might sound stupid... but play your cards tight, if you go all in too early... you will lose every time.


"Experiences don't define us, they just help make us into who we are" LOVE THIS QUOTE!! Don't let the choices you have made in you life lay out the life you lead, but learn and grow from them. Don't dwell, we all make bad choices.