[jacobandy88]

My girlfriend left me almost a month ago, and I have been giving her space. Haven't called, text, or msged her in that month. Then one day she called me at first but I missed her call so I called her back and she said she called me by accident so I said oh OK, and then we hung up like nothing ever happened, I didn't sound happy on the phone either I was more dissapointed and sad and so was she. She later than called me back the same night and said she didn't call by accident that she actually called me. She asked how I was doing and all that and we were talking normally as friends as I should have done, then she brought up our relationship she said that don't think this is me giving you a second chance or anything when she called. She said she hope we can be there for each other and be friends. She said she thought about me that day. I told her that I loved her still and expressed my deepest feelings about her and apologized for what I did to her (flirted and lied) . She said she doesn't trust me at all right now. She said if were back together we can be happy but for how long? She also said and emphasized that she still has that “fear”, she is still having that fear that I will hurt her again I guess.

Is this a good sign or not a good sign? She never loved anyone as much as she loved me

We dated for 18 months. At first when she broke up with me I smothered her and acted clingy not everyday but when we talk occasionally until she told me that I wasn't giving her sapce. But afterwards I gave her a lot of space as she requested. The day we had our final talk before the 1 month silence, She told me that if I loved her so much then to let her go I did and agreed but told her I still loved her, but when she called me a month later after NC she said she couldn't let me go because I was someone who was so important in her life that I made such a huge impact on her life that she couldn't let go. She still gets mad when she thinks about what I did to her. I flirted with some girl on the internet and lied about it but told the truth afterwards. I changed since then. I am willing to do anything to get her back and win her trust again.

So my question is to you guys, do you think this is a good sign? I mean I did NC as a lot of you said, is this a good sign or not? And what should I do from here?

[George_1950]

This is a good sign: "...she said she couldnt let me go because i was someone who was so important in her life that i made such a huge impact on her life that she couldnt let go."
This is a bad sign: "She said she hope we can be there for each other and be friends."
I think you stick with NC and give her space because that is what she has asked you to do at this point, right? Keep in mind, NC is to let you get well without her; if she 'comes back', you have a huge challenge of not falling back into past behavior. So if she comes around, keep doing your things and don't smother her.

[thegirlishurting]

I think you did the right thing by not contacting her. Gave you both the clear mind you need to look at what happened.

She loves you but she's smart because its risky to be in a relationship again without trust.

From what you wrote, it is best for you to show her that you are worthy of her trust again. Show her you were sorry and promised not to do it again (mean it!). Call her often without being clingy---just a hi-hello sort of thing, tell her where you are or what you're doing (without sounding like a bf) only because you want to know what she thinks. Girls like that, makes them feel important. Don't discuss too much about your relationship or your feelings, remember: she only wants to be friends (for now). Just show her that you care and will be there for her if she needs you.

[HistorianChick]

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here, so hear me out...

Once a trust is broken, its really hard to repair. Your flirting on the internet was a silly little thing to you, but it was a big thing to her. You shouldn't have lied to her about it... by doing so, you made her think that it was bigger than it was. Mending broken trust is one of the most difficult things to do in a relationship.

It sounds like you had a mutual, loving relationship when you were together. And she probably does really miss you... as evidenced by her "mistakenly" calling you, then recalling you later. She does love you, but she doesn't trust you.

And, trust is one of the foundations of love.

You may have a chance to repair the break, but you're going to have to give her time and space. Be there for her when she reaches out, but give her the space she needs.

I hope it works out for you... and I'm sorry its all happened like this.

If you do get back together - BE HONEST... even about the "little things" because it's the little things that break the proverbial camel's back. :)

[talaniman]

I think you keep the NC going.