[dana21]

Hi Today i came across one of my friends web site and she has a new bf..yeaa once again.. she dated some guy for about 5 years and i guess he cheated on her or watever n like 1 month after she has someone else REPLACED. They look so happy in their pics.. im not envious but i'm scratching my head thinking about myself and my situation...i been with my bf for almost a year and we have been trough so much..he has put me through so much i lost so much weight and i havent been taking care of myself. I completely lost my identity and self in this relationship..i dont know who i am or enjoy the things i use to b4 we started going out. I was so confident and outspoken when we first met i think thats what he fell in love with..I wonder how can she just replace this guy she has been with for so long..and jump into another relationship so quick and why is a person like myself is still holding on to a relationship where he can't make me happy but im still trying like an idiot.I'm trying becuz i guess he might change and understand me and we can be happy..i hate getting comfortable with one person and having to end and get someone else..i like building a future with one person..but both of us are full of so much pride and the need to control we argue EVERYDAY. (hes a aries me a leo) ;/ can u see the power struggle? How come some people dont take it so personal and just move on so quick while others like myself FALL IN LOVE and hurt ourself while its not a big deal for him..i'm thinking of breaking it off this week were going to see each other on Saturday and talk..but i dont think i can take the crying everyday anymore.. any advice you all have would be appreciated.
Thank you very much for your time!

[Delow84]

I get where your coming from Dani, feel pretty much the same. Your definitely doing better then you might think, you 'know' what's wrong and your unhappy. Now communicate it to him. If talking doesn't help you sound set in what is going to happen.

You, and this goes for everyone I think, need someone who doesn't make you lose yourself, but rather enhances who you were at the beginning. He fell in love with confidence and your outspokeness, what happened to those qualities? I am of the side where I believe arguing and fights can be healthy, but too much isn't good. I mean if you never argue... you never get to make up afterward :) But if you're crying everyday and hoping he will change... odds are he probably won't. I can't imagine seeing someone I love cry everyday, and not do anything to change that.

[dana21]

Thanks delow..
I changed so much and I when I think about it now I can't believe I let this happen to me. I don't make time for my family for myself I don't even go out. He goes to bars and hang out all the time and I don't go anywhere because I would feel guilty that he's home and I'm out having a good time.

Thanks for your advice.. and yes I agree a relationship... a person should enhance the better side of your personality not your worst.

[Delow84]

I know how you feel, It's like I'm seeing my thoughts from another person lol. But you have to be able to stand alone, be independent, do the things you like or want... before you can expect someone to want to share all that with you. Be that confident outspoken person you were. If he can't respect that and want to be apart of who you are then he can't really be worth it.

I heard a quote once "No man/woman is worth your tears, and the one who IS wont make you cry."

[dana21]

Thanks... you made me feel much better about the situation.
I was just talking to my aunt and she said when the weather
Gets better she wants to go traveling.. just have fun because she
Works all the time.. so I was talking to her and I decided we
Would go together and have fun just the 2 of us. So I guess
That's the beginning of something good. Also I start school
Tomorrow. So ill have something to work on...

[Stunning07]

i been with my bf for almost a year and we have been trough so much..he has put me through so much i lost so much weight and i havent been taking care of myself. I completely lost my identity and self in this relationship..i dont know who i am or enjoy the things i use to

You need to learn how to love yourself before loving someone else.. look how bad your bringing yourself done...


A heartbreak is really not bad.. its more classical conditioning than anything.. just think positive.. and follow NC

[talaniman]

Originally Posted by dana21

i been with my bf for almost a year and we have been trough so much..he has put me through so much i lost so much weight and i havent been taking care of myself. I completely lost my identity and self in this relationship..i dont know who i am or enjoy the things i use to

Good things its over with, so now you can get your health back.

[HistorianChick]

You, and this goes for everyone I think, need someone who doesn't make you lose yourself, but rather enhances who you were at the beginning.

Awesome, Delow84.

Darlin, don't hurt yourself for a guy who is not worth it. You are worth so much more. ALWAYS remember that.

[dana21]

Thank you all for your great advice.. I've been doing much better.. started school this week and been eating healthier. Also trying to do things with my time so I won't have to sit around waiting on his calls.. like watch movies.. spend time with family... study

Appreciated everyone's supportive advice.