[mysteryperson123]

I am writing a book, a book which at the moment I am very proud of. Every time I tell someone I get asked 'What is it called?' I have no idea.
I will give you an outline of the story so far: A girl named Dandy (excuse the silly name) wakes up one night to find that someone has set her house on fire she passes out and when she wakes up she is surrounded by rodents, rats mice etc. they can talk. She wonders why, she sees her reflection in a pond and sees that she has magically turned into a wolf. She follows a rat called George (a character based on an old friend of mine) and comes into a chamber where an ancient rat tells here everything and that she is a gifted creature known as a two soul or shape shifter, he explains that it runs in her family and that her house was set on fire by a henchman of an evil dragon who wants revenge on all shape shifters. She has to get under cover and turns into a wolf to join a pack. Her new friend George, who is also a shape shifter turns into a wolf too. They join a pack of wolves led by a giant wolf who I for some reason named Fangfull.
That is a basic outline of the story so far and I left loads of the description out but has anyone got any ideas on names?
Whew what a mouthful!

[Synnen]

Why not just "Two-Soul and the Dragon"?

[Clough]

How about "Dandy's Dilemma." That's my idea anyway. Hopefully, others will come along to add their own.

[mysteryperson123]

These names are pretty good, but I need a wide range of ideas, I will add my current idea, it is the only thing I can think of and I am not to keen on it, my idea is just Two-soul at the moment, I am only going to use that idea if I can not think of anything else or if there are no suggestions that I think fit the story.

[Lief_of_Del]

If there is a twist in the book later on you can name it after that

It sounds like a really interesting book, I wish I could read it

[mysteryperson123]

Really? I could write in the opening paragraph, just so you get a bit of an idea of how I write.

The pounding of paws against the ground.
Frenzied hooves sending up sheets of snow.
Laboured breath.
The scent of fresh blood.
Wind streaming past lean bodies.
Terrifying growling.
Teeth bared in fearsome snarls.
The hunted struggling.
The thrill of the hunt shooting through the hunters bodies.
And an overpowering urge to kill.

If you liked that then I will send more of the story in another time.:D

[mysteryperson123]

If you read the paragraph then could you please comment, I would like to know whether people like it, the only person who has read it so far is my mum and mums always say they like something and I don't know if other people like it too.

[mafiaangel180]

The Adventures of Dandy Two-Soul


Do you want it to be a series? Cause then you can think of Subtitles.

[Synnen]

To me, the paragraph is disjointed.

While I get that you're just going for the images those phrases evoke--it's not doing anything for me.

I would either rephrase it so that it was complete sentences, or make it so that all of the phrases were in the same syntax: Air streaming past bodies. Hooves pounding---all "ing" words, or all present tense, or whatever--but the images don't flow because there's nothing to connect them at this time.

[mysteryperson123]

Oh well, I'm only 11 I can't help it that I don't write perfect.

[Synnen]

Hey... you asked for critiques, and I gave one.

For being 11--I think it's GREAT. And your idea is a good one!

If you really want an honest opinion--I'd say write the book first, and then write some more, and keep writing, let it grow to be 1000 pages, and then get a good editor. You'll lose parts of your work in the process, but that's part of writing.

When people ask you for a title, I'd tell them that the right one hasn't occurred to you yet--you're more concerned about the story than its title :)

[mafiaangel180]

Just whatever you do, keep writing and writing. Then keep editing and editing. Learn the rules of grammar. Keep perfecting your craft. It's good so far, and after a while it will be even better.

[raggablue]

Something mystical, say there was some sort of vital component, name it after that

[mysteryperson123]

It doesn't have a vital component yet, but I have ideas that I am sort of storing in my head until the right moment.

[mysteryperson123]

I have edited my story some more and here is a basic outline of what has happened after they join Fangfulls pack: Fangfull tells them that he needs a lead female in his pack because their lead female was killed by a bear, he asks Dandy if she would temporarily fill the post and she says yes.

That is as far as I have got so far, if you think it was a bad idea to suddenly promote Dandy to the lead female in a pack of wolves then when it gets published read it and find out how this is going to work and why I did it. If you know what I mean.

[mysteryperson123]

Here is the beginning of my story:

[mysteryperson123]

Here is part 2 of chapter 1 so far.

[Lief_of_Del]

Its really interesting to read
I wish I could turn into a wolf
I would be a white wolf, they are more of the lone wolf type in my sense

[mysteryperson123]

Thanks. I am working on it. I wrote the story because I wish that was happening to me. Most of the characters are someone I know built up on so that they are unrecognisable. I moved house recently and I am basing the characters on people I knew from where we used to live.

[Lief_of_Del]

One thing that might help is to write down everything about the character and world

Since you are creating characters they will have their own personalities, beliefs, interests, and past
Write down everything you can think of for every character that way when you are writing the story you can better show their character by referring to your notes on that character

Same with creating the world
Each town or village will have its own traditions and way of life
If you actually create the world you will be better at explaining it and making it seem more realistic
It also helps run smoothly

I don't know if this helps or not but its what I do when I write storys