[cdh]

I posted this earlier, and I want to see if anyone has any more advice.

I met this woman 15 years ago and there has always been a chemistry between us. We married other people. I got divorced and she is now a widow. I was hurt badly in my divorce. We started seeing each other after the death of her husband. I was scared to tell her I loved her and now she is dating some one else. How can I convince her that I want to spend the rest of my life with her after she has felt rejected by me for the last 3 months of our seven month relationship. I have told her how I feel and I want her back. I am trying to give her the space she wants and I have not been confrontational and I realize that I am a fault

[nwsflash]

As you said yourself you need to give this women space, but if there is someone else she is seeing you need to lay your cards on the table being nice and polite, not in her face and tell her what you want and where you want both of you to be.

Then you will have to take the answer that she give's to you good or bad !

[cdh]

The card have already been put on the table nice and polite. I know she doesn't hate me and she still cares but I don't know if she is still in love with me. It has only been 10 days but it seems like an eternity.
Thanks

[talaniman]

Stick a fork in your done!Sorry but I think for your own sake, time to pull out plan -b-For you to hold out hope is okay,but to tell the truth shouldn't you be going about your business and moving your life forward.You've already poured out your heart and 10 days later.. Your at the age that you know better than the young guys that mooning over someone who's dating someone else is a no win situation!You also know there are many more females out there so look ahead not back!:cool: :eek:

[cdh]

Thanks but I can't give up just yet but I will be open to other possible relationships

[nwsflash]

Thanks but I can't give up just yet but I will be open to other possible relationships

If you feel there is still light at the end of the tunnel than I wish you all the luck in the world, but please also look out that you don't end up getting hurt.
As people always say Rome was not built in a day, get out there and enjoy your life.

[cdh]

Thanks I need all the luck I can get.

[nwsflash]

Thanks I need all the luck I can get.

Why don't you send her some flowers our something with a nice card from you addressed to her?? Try InterFlora or something like that :) At least she will know your still thinking of her !

[cdh]

I would but she is a florist her self. She actually does it all. In addition to that she is a interior decorator, caterer, tile layer, business investor, beautiful inside and out. Truly an amazing woman and all I had to do was tell her how I felt sooner and she would have been with me for life.

[Chery]

Sounds like a multi-talented lady. She probably has the sense to realize that you feel very strongly about her but is just tired of playing games - which is what you did even though at your age you did not need to anymore. So, now she's showing independence huh? Well, get brave, stand up and fight for what you want - it's in your court now and you need to make that basket. Now's the time to pull out all of your reserves and plan a fantastic dinner of her favorite dish and be as romantic as you can be. Just because you know each other for so long, does not mean that those special things can be left unsaid - they need to be said even more now to really sink in, so if you want her, swallow your pride and run, don't walk to be near her as much as you can. Just because she can do her own flowers, does not mean she won't appreciate some from you, dummy - treat her like a woman, not superwoman who can do everything herself. She can't make herself happy, you might be able to do that, so what have you got to lose? Try for it and if it does not work, your old enough to handle rejection - which is probably why you hesitated so long to begin with - so armor yourself to accept a no, but you might also be pleasantly surprised, but only if you dare to take that step. OK, I've said enough, the rest is up to you. P.S. Good luck, and Belated Happy New Year!

Roar or Meow... which is it going to be??

If you want to grow older with this fine lady, tell her!

[cdh]

Thanks, I didn't mean that she would not like flowers, I just don't want to SEND them. I have carried them to her myself. I think that it is personal that way. I have not gone overboard with it. I have already acccepted the fact that I may have lost her forever I just haven't decided to give up yet. You are right I am old enough to accept the rejection. I wasn't intentionally playing games but that is what it looks like to her. I never chased other women or anything like that. I always wanted to spend my time with her I just had a hard time showing her and telling her. I was just scared.

[talaniman]

It takes a real man to admit he is scared,and though I have been one of those who told you that this relationship is over,I guess I've changed my mind,You are not like the young guys that I usually tell to move on, you fit into another category ,that is a lot more mature, so SHOOT YOUR BEST SHOT,and tell this woman how you feel,and lay it out to her that YOU will be the best thing to her since candy!Go for it ,but realise it may not be what she wants!I truly hope it works out for you! If not then be mature enough to accept what life has thrown your way, and move on to a better chance at life that is surely coming to a good person as yourself:cool:

[nwsflash]

SHOOT YOUR BEST SHOT,and tell this woman how you feel,and lay it out to her that YOU will be the best thing to her since candy!:cool:

I agree you have to give it your best shot and then face the music and dance! I just hope that Cupid is around to help you on your mission to win this women's heart... :D

[Chery]

See, with all the good wishes and advice, you have nothing to lose in trying again, and we all hope that it works for you. Go to her and tell her exactly how you feel, and that you'd like to grow old with her only. Be schmaltzy if need be, but get what you want! You've got our support - and can even print this thread out to show her how you've been beating yourself up about her. Again, good luck!
Not too many of us get that second chance for happiness, so don't hesitate any longer!

[cdh]

Thanks to all of you. I don't know any of you but I truly do appreciate your support. I hope that she will still have at least a little spark of what she felt for me and if shee does then I know this will be all right. If she doesn't, I know I will survive. It is still tough right now but I will be OK one way or another.

Thanks again.

[momincali]

[quote=Chery]... just tired of playing games - which is what you did even though at your age you did not need to anymore. "

So true Chery, but my favorite part of your post was this...

"... Just because she can do her own flowers, does not mean she won't appreciate some from you, dummy -" LOL, loved that. Men can be so blind sometimes.

CDH, you're a grown man, act like it. Go to her house geared with flowers, her favorite candy and a ring (a juicy one too) and tell her you don't want to spend another day without her. Tell her that you knew it all along but you were too much of a wussy boy to put your guard down and allow yourself to be vulnerable to her for fear of being hurt. Tell her you know it wasn't fair because she wasn't the one who hurt you in the first place and that you'd like to spend the rest of your life making it up to her. Don't wait, do it now. You know you've got a 50-50 shot, but you don't want to live with what if... I'd wish you luck but luck has nothing to do with it!

Keep us posted!

[s_cianci]

Well, she is dating someone else and you have to respect the other guy's "territory", so to speak. She isn't totally fair game right now. How serious are they? You could try calling her and just talking to her about things in general just as friends. Don't try to pry her away from this other guy, however. See how she responds to you. If she seems to respond favorably then you can call her a second time and take things from there, very slowly without pressure. Eventually you and she may be able to get back together again. If she decides that she really likes you better than this other guy she'll find a way to end it amicably with him. On the other hand, if she's somewhat evasive when you call and doesn't seem very interested in talking with you, then you'll just have to cut your losses and move on.

[cdh]

Thanks. Still can't get her off my mind though. I just summerized the story in another string. She is all I think about. I am trying to stay upbeat when I talk to her and put no preasure on her.

[talaniman]

Of course she is all you think about, your in love, and regardlesss your heart just won't let her go.You've read what a hard time the young guys have dealing with this powerful emotion that's called love, and you're a good example that it never gets easier no matter how old you are or how much experience you have.Its hard to tell anyone to put their feelings on hold, but we all have to accept the way that life deals with us, and sometimes that means making a choice as to pursue what we want, or folding up the tent and move to the next town.No matter what though it is your decision and you're the only one that can make that choice,we can only wish you luck!:cool:

[cdh]

Thanks again