[starbuck8]

A yr ago at c'mas, my ex broke into my house, assaulted me and broke my ribs, cheekbone, and re-injured a pre-existing hip condition. The police arrested him the next day at his home, but just had him write a statement and let him go. They gave him a no-contact order (although I requested a restraining order, which I understand would specify how far away he has to stay) and conditions of non-consumption, which include not drinking/drugs, and not to be on the premises of an establishment that serves alcohol.

He continuously breaks this order, and is in the bars almost everynite. If I go out for an evening and run into him and his new g/f,(who threatens to hurt me) he refuses to leave until I call the cops. Every time I call the cops, they don't come, or not for a long time. And even if they do come, they just escort him out, without arresting him, as per his N/C order. I have stopped calling the police because the last time I called, I was made to feel like a nuisance, and told they had more important situations to attend to rather than pulling a drunk out of a bar. I made them well aware of the order, and gave dispatch the case file # every time I called. I, in fact, overheard a conversation between my ex and the cop one time, and the cop told him that he should just go to another bar, because I was out for revenge! JUSTICE, would be a more correct term! This has been going on for over a year, and the cops have only arrested him one time and released him within the hr. He went straight back to the bar.

My problem now is really with the police and the crown prosecutor. Our next court date isn't until the end of April, but I can't get anyone to return my calls or even give me a plan of action for court. The last time I talked to the (canadian) crown prosecutor, she told me that since the judge has given my ex so many postponments, and since this happened so long ago, that my ex will most likely get nothing more than a slap on the wrist and maybe a nominal fine. (he also purgered himself in court in his last appearance) She said that unfortunately the judges in our relatively small city usually don't go too hard on first offenders in assault cases.

I am infuriated that all of the authorities involved are treating this like someone stole candy from a store or something! Does anyone have any advice or ideas on how I can get a better outcome to a horribly overlooked crime? I would appreciate any thoughts on how I might be able to ensure a better outcome when the court date arrives.

[excon]

Hello star:

I've been thinking about your question for a while. I don't think you're going to like my advice.

I hate what he did to you. If all he gets is a slap on the wrist (and you've already been told that's what he'll get), he's going to do it again. Next time, it might be worse than your ribs.

I hate the cops. They're not there to help you. Oh, they'll be around to examine your body AFTERWARDS. And they'll all stand around and furl their brows and cluck their tongues think they're doing good work (they watch TV too). But, they don't do anything to protect anybody.

If you lived in a bigger city, my advice would be different too, but you don't.

So, I'm going to advise you to do one of TWO things. 1) Since the cops aren't going to protect you, you'll have to do it yourself. SEE a Jennifer Lopez movie called "Enough". I don't especially like her, but I loved this movie.

And, you really have to do it full blown. If you are not of a disposition to DO that, then you've 2) got to move.

excon

[starbuck8]

Hi Excon,

Yes, isn't it funny that the person who commits the crime seems to have more rights than the victim in our court system.

I was at home getting ready for c'mas and minding my own business, and the next minute I find myself with a bunch of broken bones, and forced to spend c'mas at home alone in bed, while I'm sure he was out celebrating and having a good time. I now sometimes feel like I'm the prisoner in my own home because I can't count on the police to protect me if I happen to run into him. My vehicle has been torn apart piece by piece, but the cops won't take prints. I get hang up phone calls at all hrs of the night, but the cops won't trace the calls. Every time I hear a noise in the middle of the night and get scared, I hestitate to call the police because they don't really do anything anyway. And, to think that I may be forced to move because the cops don't provide me with adequete protection just infuriates me!

He just became a Canadian citizen 2 yrs ago (from the UK) but I've lived in the same city all of my life. For me to leave would just be like giving him another feather to put in his cap! He has had 3 impaired driving charges in the last 2 yrs... 2 of which his lawyer got him off. (one was even in a company truck at work) He has been thrown in the drunk tank numerous time for bar fights. There should be a probationary period after you become a Canadian citizen, in which you must keep your record clean or be deported.

As for the crown prosecutor, it doesn't seem like she is even interested in doing her job. She is there to represent the people! It seems like she is just rolling over for the judge (no pun intended, ha) and not even going to try and put up a fight for my rights.

The public servants(?) get pd a lot of money to do their jobs. Why is it that it seems that I have to do their work for them? I have never seen the movie that you suggested, but I get the idea. I might rent it and watch it tonight. If it is about the impression that I get from the title, my problem would be that somehow in the long run, I would be the one behind bars and he would be running free. I refuse to give him the satisfaction. I have had a clean record all of my life and plan to keep it that way.

Bottom line, it all sucks! So if anyone out there knows how to light a fire under the prosecutors (and cops) , by all means... bring it on! :)

[Fr_Chuck]

Have you sued in in civil court for all the damages, and the "pain and suffering"

Yes, I wish I had a better answer for you, but often with the laws the way they are, the criminal has more rights than the victim does

[starbuck8]

Actually, no I haven't started those proceedings yet. I have been thinking it over, and wondering if it's worth the grief. I also spoke with the police about doing just that, and they told me not to waste my time. They said even if I got a monetary judgement against him, there would probably be a snowballs chance in hell of collecting.

So, I really have to think hard if I want to waste more time and energy dragging this loser to another drawn out court battle. It just drains the energy right out of me. I'm normally a fighter for what I think is right, but after awhile it gets to be too much.

I am still considering it, however.

[Fr_Chuck]

It is the showing him you can, and the police are the last people to ask about a civil issue. Also if you have the money, you may want to hire your own attorney, not up on this in Canada, but in the US, there are motions you can file in the court, to force them to go to trial.

[starbuck8]

Also, don't I have to wait until after the criminal proceedings? Maybe that was just the impression I got. I not sure. Might it be better to file in civil court after a conviction in criminal court? I don't know how a lot of these things work. I have never been in a court room in my life, and unfortunately I, like a lot of people, get info from TV... sad to say. Usually court TV rather than Law and Order or something, but still TV.

[starbuck8]

From what I've heard, I can also bring my own attourney to the criminal trial. The problem is that I don't have the money, so my only other option would be a public defender. I don't know if that would be of much use since they don't get paid and therefore don't really have a stake in the outcome!

[JudyKayTee]

From what I've heard, I can also bring my own attourney to the criminal trial. The problem is that I don't have the money, so my only other option would be a public defender. I don't know if that would be of much use since they don't get paid and therefore don't really have a stake in the outcome!

I am not aware that you can bring your own Attorney to a criminal trial as other than a bystander because you would be represented by the People (or whatever that is called in Canada) at a criminal trial.

I doubt you'd qualify for a public defender because you are bringing the charges, not defending them.

And I know you don't want to hear this - but sometimes if you want to stay alive and (relatively) sane YOU have to pick up and move.

[flossie]

Do you have a "Victims Services" in your region? I live in Ontario, Canada and the Victim Services played an integral part when my daughter was assaulted by a boyfriend in her home while her 2 yr old son slept in the next room. He had a record (had been to prison before for the same crime) got 18 months less time already served.

It's sad, the crown attorney told us that if my daughter had been a doctor, lawyer or teacher the time in jail would have been much longer but because she's a woman and this was only the first time he'd assaulted HER this is all the time he could get him.

People get sent to jail for longer periods for abusing animals!

[starbuck8]

Thanks, you cleared that up a bit for me. Yes, you are right. I don't know why it didn't dawn on me that a public defender is someone assigned to the "defendant" when he or she can't afford one. I guess I've just got so much info swirling around in my head, that I forget to think logically sometimes :S

I was told, but once again by the police, that I could hire my own lawyer alongside the crown prosecutor. But now that you mention it, that doesn't make sense either. The crown prosecutor is there to represent the people. The procedures in Canada, for the most part, are pretty much the same as the U.S. The C.P. would be the same as your D.A.

And yes, I do realize that it may come to the point where I will be forced to leave :(

[littlebear91]

You may always call crime stopper in metro toronto. Also if you're too scared. Then get a gun license and pepper spray if you are that insecure. However I must say that Laws in Canada aren't strict so brace yourself for the unfairness. You do know that even if you kill a person, you only get 10 years in jail right?

[starbuck8]

Oh flossie, I so sorry to hear about that! and with a young child present makes it all the worse. You are right! Michael Vick will get more time than someone who beats a child's mother. (not that Vick doesn't deserve every damn thing he got too)

I don't understand what difference it would make being a Dr. Lawyer, or a street person for that matter! It's a human being with rights!

Yes, we do have Victims Assistance here, (AB) and I hate to sound so negative, but they really don't offer much help! They are all volunteers and work out of the police dept. and get a lot of their info from the police. They are very nice people... but as far as being of any help to me, they just aren't. All they have really offered was to take me on a tour of the courthouse/room, and come with me to the trial for support.

[starbuck8]

Thanks Littlebear,
I take all of the advice I get and weigh it carefully with all the other info I have to go on. I'm just trying to cover all of my bases, and at the same time appreciative of any info that I have that is the wrong info, or just some ideas I may not have thought of before to help for the best outcome.

[twinkiedooter]

Please move as far away from him as you can. The next time he crashes into your home he just might finish the job he came there at Xmas to start! If you lived in USA he would have been charged by the police for attacking you and would be sitting in jail now - not just free to drink and party on.

Like it or not, you have GOT to put some distance between him and you as soon as you can NOW. Canada seems to be behind the eight ball in punishing criminals. Don't let this man hurt you physically any longer.

[starbuck8]

I want to thank all of you for your comments and support! I appreciate all of you that took time to give me advice and feedback! The problem with moving is that I am on disability right now, so I have a very limited income. I'm also on a waiting list for surgery, (something that was aggravated by the assault) which makes it hard to pick up and leave. I also own my house, so I would have to sell first. I really don't have many people to help me make a move either. I know what I should do... but making it happen is a whole different story,. if you know what I mean. I thank God for good neighbors that watch out for me, and my (watch) dog who alerts me when she senses something is up! That's about all I can do for now. Moving would be the "ideal" thing to do, but it's near to impossible anytime soon.

Thanks again to ALL :)

[JudyKayTee]

You may always call crime stopper in metro toronto. Also if you're too scared. then get a gun license and pepper spray if you are that insecure. However I must say that Laws in Canada aren't strict so brace yourself for the unfairness. You do know that even if you kill a person, you only get 10 years in jail right??

Very bad advice - never have a gun unless you are willing and prepared to use it. He breaks in (and so far it sounds like you've had difficulty defending yourself) without a gun, you have a gun, he wrestles the gun from you, now he's broken in and he has a gun - your gun!

And if she kills him she "only" gets 10 years in jail? Not very helpful advice all the way around.

[starbuck8]

I think what Littlebear was trying to get across was the unfairness of the punishments under the law in Canada. I don't think he was suggesting that I would only get 10 yrs if I killed him. But, having a gun to begin with to try and defend myself could only turn a bad situation worse. I keep a bat by my doors at all times, and keep the phone near me so I can call 911, and then the neighbor on speed dial if need be. I did exactly that when I heard a loud crash outside my home a few weeks ago. It just so happened that my neighbors weren't home, and by the time the police arrived, whoever had been around was gone. So I have now asked the neighbors to let me know when they won't be home at night so I can call an alternative neighbor if I need to. Pepperspray is illegal to have here, but I have a spray bottle that I've filled with tobassco sauce, and beware of dog signs. No one has to know my dogs bark is a helluva lot bigger than her bite, right? ;) One more thing that I have done in the past because I don't have a security system (and can't afford one) is set off my smoke detector. I have printed off signs on my computer that says I have home security, and also have crime stopper stickers for a deterent. I don't know if this is enough to stop a mad man, but I'm doing the best I can with what I have. I sure open to any other tips though!

[JudyKayTee]

I think what Littlebear was trying to get across was the unfairness of the punishments under the law in Canada. I don't think he was suggesting that I would only get 10 yrs if I killed him. But, having a gun to begin with to try and defend myself could only turn a bad situation worse. I keep a bat by my doors at all times, and keep the phone near me so I can call 911, and then the neighbor on speed dial if need be. I did exactly that when I heard a loud crash outside my home a few wks ago. It just so happened that my neighbors weren't home, and by the time the police arrived, whoever had been around was gone. So I have now asked the neighbors to let me know when they won't be home at night so I can call an alternative neighbor if I need to. Pepperspray is illegal to have here, but I have a spray bottle that I've filled with tobassco sauce, and beware of dog signs. No one has to know my dogs bark is a helluva lot bigger than her bite, right? ;) One more thing that I have done in the past because I don't have a security system (and can't afford one) is set off my smoke detector. I have printed off signs on my computer that says I have home security, and also have crime stopper stickers for a deterent. I don't know if this is enough to stop a mad man, but I'm doing the best I can with what I have. I sure open to any other tips though!

Sounds like you really are scared, not that I doubted you. I wish I did have some suggestions for you. I know a friend of mine - in the US - had a similar problem with an ex-husband who was really abusive and frightening and broke in, I believe, twice. She got one of those medical alert necklaces that you press when you need medical assistance and it calls the Police - her Doctor "agreed" that she needed it, the cost was pretty small per month but then she didn't have to worry if he cut her phone lines. Hope I'm not scaring you with the phone line thing.

I do like the smoke detector idea - never heard that before and it's a good one.

At one time I had 3 large, friendly (or so I thought) dogs, bark worse than bite. And then one day a salesman pulled the storm door out of my hands, opening it while talking to me, and found himself bitten by 2 different dogs. I guess they didn't want him in the house! So you pretty much never know.

And, no, I didn't get sued because there is a no door to door ordinance in my neighborhood, he had no permit, he pulled the door open, I didn't open it because my dogs don't run loose (my backyard is fenced) and I didn't want them outside.

Keep us informed, okay?

[fde]

Excon I just had to say for once I agree with you.

The cops are not there for you and yes that movie rocks. You really do need to do this yourself. Start by a civil kick...
In Canada but when you go to civil court for something like this you will be represented by someone they appoint. Like flossie said victims services is a great way to make a impact. You can ask any legal aid office there number.