[lil miss vixen]

Earlier, I asked if it was OK to ask him out.
You guys were very helpful.
But I couldn't pull myself to ask him
So finally he asked me.
But now that were going out.
We don't tlak as much. Like barley at all
It bothers me because this stupid girl
In my class alays makes moves on him
And he see's oblivious to this.
I tell her how I feel, and I politley told her
To turn down the mojo. Espically on my man.
She told me they were friends and that's all
But it makes me mad how she thinks she can move in when I'm
Not clinging to his every breath. I love him, and he loves me
But we don't like making our love... billboarded.
We tlak all the time when we hang out aone
But when were at school, this girl moves in on him!
I want to tel lher to... well .screw off.
But that seems harsh. What would you do?

[DrJ]

You said you are in school... I imagine its either jr high or high school.

You need to fight for him. You need to fight for his attention. You need to keep his attention on you! He may love you to death but at that age, guys can get infatuated very easily and its girls like this other one that will do it. Its not his fault... she intrigues him.

You don't have to be the same as this girl.. be yourself. But don't stand on the sidelines assuming that just because he loves you that your relationship is invinsible (means indestructable).

You got balls? Call her out in front of him and make a game out of it! "back up off my man!" as you grab him and make out with him. He will LOVE it. Guys LOVE to be fought for!

[lil miss vixen]

Thank you for replying so fast, and reading my rather lengthy
Post. We are in grde 9 (jr.high) and I just called her up to tell her
How I feel and why I always give her hate glares, I wish I could
Fight for him, but nobody really takes me seriously, I'm just the short
Who says stupid stuff once and a while. Ps. I'm really shy. I was talking
To him when I walked to his house at lunch and he told me he doesn't like
Her he just likes having someone to talk to. But I felt really jelous that person
Couldn't be me. What do you think I should do after that?

[DrJ]

That person CAN be you...

I totally feel for you because I was always the shy one in school. It wasn't until about 2 years out of high school that I finally figured it all out (well, relatively speaking lol).

The number one tip on how to get someone to like you is to be interested in them. Ask them questions. People LOVE to talk about themselves. Listen to what they have to say and ask them more questions.

Confidence is something that you have to find in yourself. Everyone has it. It is so hard to understand when we are young and for many of us when we are old. But it is something that is very powerful.

Who cares if you say stupid stuff... say it! Make it funny! Be proud that you blurt our stupid stuff because That's who you are! You know what? If they don't like it... them!!

I know this sounds very cliché and I apologize but IT Doesn't MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU. You have to realize that. If you like yourself.. everyone else will follow suit!

Its funny now but me and some friends would go to the bar. We would approach girls and say the most off the wall things... stupid stuff... outrageous!! The winner is the one that can say the craziest thing and still make the girl like them (dance with them, buy them a drink.. whatever). Its amazing... you just have to not sweat the small stuff.. be proud of who you are... be confident in yourself... and just have fun!!

Sorry its late and I have to go. I'll check back tomorrow.. maybe I will have some better advice once I het some sleep! Lol

Good luck!

[DJ 'H']

I would be very careful in fighting for him in front of him. Sometimes guys love it, sometimes they find it embarrassing & clingy like. It depends on the guy.

At the end of the day this girl does not matter. Just try talking to him more - start conversations with him yourself, tell jokes, make him laugh. Don't let this girl get to you - if you do, she will do this more and more. If you just ignore her, she will get bored and soon find someone else to bother.

Just be patient and strong willed, she will back off.

[fredg]

Hi,
As another said, "this girl does not matter at the end of the day".
So true.
You are letting her "get to you". She is not getting to him, because he likes you.
Many of us let others decide how we are going to feel or act. Don't let her keep bothering you, try your best to ignore her. This will be happening somewhat for a long time to come, possibly with other boyfriends you might have later.
The point is; Try not to let something like this bother you.
The more you try "fighting back", the more irritating it will become for you.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

[talaniman]

If your worried some girl is trying to beat your time with your b/f you should speak to him about it,leave the girl alone and under no circumstances should you consider fighting this girl over your boyfriend,she can't get anywhere unless he lets her.Don't let her get your goat or everyone will know how insecure you are(are you?)!Have you ever watched Jery Springer where the two girl fight over the guy and how stupid they look as he is playing them both but they fight each other.Come on don't fall into the childish game of being an inseure whiny little girl and act like one of class!Leave that jeolously thing alone too, it always comes back to bite you and make you look immature and silly.Let him talk to and be friendly with who ever he wants, you're the one he cares about and you need to act like it and don't embarrass him with acting silly!:cool:

[DrJ]

Sorry... don't take that out of context. I don't really mean to fight this girl for him. I just mean that you may have to set the bounderies. Be confident enough that it is okay for him to ba talking to another girl BUT if she crosses that line and makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to make it known that its not cool.

Its not a matter of jealousy, it's a matter of respect for yours and his relationship. Its okay for each of you to have fun and be flirty but if it ever cosses that line and makes the other uncomfortable, then it has gone too far. He needs to understand what you are comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with.

No, don't be stupid and throw a desk at this girl... Im not talking about irrational, over-reacted drama like Jerry Springer.

My girlfriend is gorgeous. She has an outgoing personality and everyone loves her. Guys flirt with her all the time. Its okay because I know who she is going home with at the end of the night. But that doesn't mean that I am going to stand by while any guy puts his hands all over her. Im not a fighter and I have never been in a fight over my girlfriend. But I make it well known, in a upfront, but almost playful way, if someone has gone too far.

It comes down to setting bounderies for yourself. You need to decide where those are and not allow anyone to cross them.

[bizygurl]

Hi,
I can relate to what your going though now. In high school I was extremely shy, especially around guys. When I would have a boyfriend I found it very hard to keep them because I was really introverted.. It seems that in jr. high and high school you are judge majorly on how popular and out going you are rather than who you really are.And that can be quite frustrating.

But this could be what you are interperting. Maybe you think that he's starting to like this girl when all she is to him is a friend. You may feel this way because you are scared you will loose him. In high school this is the exact way I was. I was so nervous that I was going to loose my boyfriend to some other girl, that whenever he talked or joked around with someone else, I automatically felt he was going to dump me. It can be a scarey thing. But you know what, if something happens with you too (breaking up) It isn't the end of the world. There are plenty of guys, and as you get older your shyness isn't such an issue anymore, People tend to like you more on your personality than whether or not you talk enough.

I know its hard, but try not to have too much anxiety over it. Concentrate on school and any other things that take your mind off the situation. If it was meant to be than it will happen.