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preppy90210 · Jan 24, 2008, 03:42 PM

Ok here's the deal- me and my boyfriend have sex, lot of it, and we are each others firsts.. . He gets off all the time and I love it and he loves it but I can't get off. He wants me to orgasm so bad and I feel so incompitent when I don't. We have no problems with sex or foreplay or anything like that I just stop. Like he'll make me feel so good and then I try to get myself off and I just flat line. if he can't get me to orgasim and i don't know how to myself what are we suposed to do?
When we have sex I always on top and I do all the work and everything and he tells me I'm amazing and all that jaz... but he doesn't do anything during sex inless he on top and he like never on top... is it him? He thinks it is and it makes him feel bad. I just want to be able to do this for him or help him get me there... but how? :(

progunr · Jan 24, 2008, 03:51 PM

You need to experiment together, with more options.

What about oral?

I have not had many partners, but of the ones I have, none of them had any problem
Getting an O from Oral.

How about giving that a try?

Synnen · Jan 24, 2008, 03:53 PM

He can't read minds.

YOU need to figure out what turns you on, and show HIM.

Try masturbation for a start.

preppy90210 · Jan 24, 2008, 03:58 PM

I do give him oral but he not willing to give it to me honestly I think id be uncofortable with the whole thing

And to the other sugestion I don't know what will get me there though and I talk to him... alot he's very open I'm so lucky

Synnen · Jan 24, 2008, 04:02 PM

Well, the nice thing about masturbation, is that you can do it to yourself whenever you're alone.

And any guy that will TAKE oral but not GIVE it is selfish. Many MANY women can not get off from sex--it takes stimulation that is MUCH easier to give with oral.

preppy90210 · Jan 24, 2008, 04:03 PM

Is there something he could do, is there something I can do?

Synnen · Jan 24, 2008, 04:05 PM

You can learn to please yourself, and show HIM how to do it.

How hard is that?

Choux · Jan 24, 2008, 04:35 PM

It helps if you learn what an orgasm feels like. What feelings lead up to it.

You sound really young, but, as Dr. Northrup said on Oprah this week, a woman should masturbate for 30 minutes three times a week to maintain healthy sexuality. I wonder if she has a book on female sexuality you could read? Not her book on hormones. :D

Masturbation and developing your orgasmic neural pathways is the way to go.

Natalia2008 · Jan 24, 2008, 04:53 PM

Hmm, interesting..

I think he needs to do a tad bid more work and you need to probably mentally think of either something that turns you on and let your imagination run while during the act. This might help. Heck put a flick on while u are foreplaying.

preppy90210 · Jan 24, 2008, 05:00 PM

I'm not young just haven't had an orgasm yet

I masturbate plenty believe me, I know what I like and he knows it to I just can't seem to get over that edge

simoneaugie · Jan 24, 2008, 05:12 PM

You have to trust him. You need to trust that he'll wait for you. If he can get off in 1 minute, that probably isn't long enough for you.

Flat line is both mental and physical. It's your job to go past it though. Trust that he wants you to really enjoy it too. Then, do it for you.

preppy90210 · Jan 24, 2008, 05:24 PM

He can actually hold out pretty long and I'm always up to do it over and over agein. He wants me to orgasm so bad though. He says that he just wants me to have that feeling and I feel bad because I just can't and I don't know why.

Choux · Jan 24, 2008, 05:40 PM

In that case, sounds like you don't have any passion for him, and you are holding back emotionally, too.

Guess you're going to have to let him take a vibrator to you if you want to pursue this...

Good Luck!

preppy90210 · Jan 24, 2008, 05:44 PM

We have plenty of passion don't get that wrong and I love him to death. Do you think its emotional? My parents just got a divorce and my worlds like falling apart and I have a young brother I'm trying to take care of and not so great family history... do you think that's a factor?

talaniman · Jan 24, 2008, 06:19 PM

Sometimes we want something so bad, we try to hard, and never get what we want. Forget everything else, relax and learn to enjoy the journey. If you can get yourself off, then you can teach him what you want. RELAX. I think this sex thing is only a warning that there are other issues you need to deal with. Yes, you may be stressing yourself.