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Saraah · Jan 21, 2008, 07:45 PM

Hay there. Please help. Here's my question. Since I met my boyfriend(when I was twelve) We have been going out for a year and 4 months now. And I turn 14 in a month. We have tried having sex a lot of times But it just hurts too much for me and I don't know if its my body saying I'm not ready yet or it its ust normal and I should take the pain. I know its meant to hurt a little bit But this doesn't hurt a little bit it hurts A lot! Instead of having sex we either do Anal or just regular foreplay. Oral ECT Or he puts it in as far as it can go without it hurting and he ejaculates I don't know if this is going to get me pregnant Because I thought the only way the sperm could find the eggs were if the hymen was broken I have had heaps of tests because I've threw up in the mornings and I felt I was gaining weight and according to the doctor he's pretty sure I had a miscarriage because of what he found in my underwear with my period. Im scared of getting pregnant Cause I'm only 13 and my mum doesn't know about it. Can what me and my boyfriend are doing actually get me pregnant Cause we do it all the time. Should we stop or make sure its protected? And why can't I have sex is there something wrong with me. Im pretty sure I'm ready and I know he's the one. Help me !

Blue Eyed Girl · Jan 21, 2008, 07:51 PM

OK u are way to young to be anything like that at your age
Just think if you were to get pregnant at 13 shhww that would be awful
U should just tell your boyfriend that you are not ready
And God will be with you no mater what happens and you need to stop

KalFour · Jan 21, 2008, 07:56 PM

If it hurts that much, don't do it. You're too young and your body is trying to tell you that! You're much too young to be getting into this kind if thing. Penetrative sex is for older people. You're a child. Whether he's "the one", you shouldn't be having sex until you're a lot older.
And you should definitely be using protection. You CAN get pregnant. And it's quite likely that you will at this rate.
Do your parents know what you're doing?
Let yourself be a child for just a few more years. Sex can wait, and you'll probably enjoy it a lot more when you're older.

Take care,

Kal

barbiechick123 · Jan 21, 2008, 08:00 PM

Well honestly I think that if you are pregnant you and your boyfriend should go see a counseler

*** moderator note: seriously edited - inappropriate language

worthbeads · Jan 21, 2008, 08:36 PM

The best way to prevent having babies is to not have sex. So what does that mean? Stop having sex. Use your head for god's sake!

Fr_Chuck · Jan 21, 2008, 08:55 PM

Well first, there are dozens of infections you can get from Anal sex, esp if you are not using a condom. And of course this is for too young to be having any type of sex,

And yes, if he is in at all, or even if the sperm gets in by hand that has it on, there can be a chance of being pregnant.

So if you are not on birth control and using condoms you should not even consider it.

Also remember that at you age, legally you can not have sex, and the boy who is having sex with you can be sent to jail for having sex with you.
And honeslty he needs to go, since this is very criminal.

KalFour · Jan 21, 2008, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Also remember that at you age, legally you can not have sex, and the boy who is having sex with you can be sent to jail for having sex with you.
And honeslty he needs to go, since this is very criminal.

If he's underage too, nobody can be sent to jail for this. All the same, you need birth control, you should be using a condom even for anal and oral, and you should definitely not be doing any of this for a few more years.

I'm not trying to sound like a patronising older person who wants to telly ou how to live your life. I'm just very concerned about your wellbeing.

Kal

Saraah · Jan 21, 2008, 09:07 PM

I diidnt ask this question to be told to use protection. I'm not stupid. When yourr thirteen you don't always have protection with you. I wish I never asked this question because some of you are making me feel like . But thank you to the people who are actually giving me proper advice not just saying use protection Gosh your dumb!

That's not answering my question I asked if you could get protection with what we were doing.

Saraah · Jan 21, 2008, 09:12 PM

Oh and Can youu get infections from Anal even if He hasn't been with anyone but you.

pookiebear32 · Jan 21, 2008, 09:19 PM

Okay, my previous piece of advice was mis-interpreted so I'm starting over considering I have a red block. If it hurts don't do it. Like I made a promise with my boyfriend that if he's really right for me we'll be together forever right? And I think forever is long enough to have sex once we're past the age of consent. Yup yup. Like I know people who do those kinds of things (it's not uncommon so don't be so judgemental towards kids like that you other people). Also there's no age limit for over-the-counter birth control (from what I know that's accurate, right?). Are you both in for it or is it just him?

Synnen · Jan 21, 2008, 09:21 PM

Honey... he SAYS he hasn't been with anyone but you. If you trust that, then take those risks with your life.

Yes, you can get pregnant, and probably will.

Is it your body telling you not to have sex? Probably. At 13, you really haven't developed completely yet.

I'd like to know how anal, which is usually a LOT more painful for most women, works for you yet vaginal doesn't.

As far as the lectures go--don't you think you deserve them, at least in part? You're taking chances with your life by having sex so young (diseases, pregnancy, etc). Don't you think you'd RATHER have people concerned about you?

You need to talk with your parents, if for no other reason than to go in and get a full gynecological examination, which you should definitely have if you're having ANY kind of sex. I'd recommend birth control as well, but you'll have to talk to your doctor about that, because I don't know what the reprecussions of birth control might have on your body.

As far as feeling bad about the lectures--tough. A lot of us have kids your age, and we'd LOVE to lock you all up so you weren't being so dumb. Unless you are absolutely ready to be a parent (and don't even TRY to tell me you are, young lady--I doubt you have a job, or a decent income, a home, a high school diploma, etc.), then you shouldn't be having sex.

KalFour · Jan 21, 2008, 09:23 PM

There are infections that can be spread through sex (including anal and oral) that he could have got from other sources, even if he's never had sex with anyone else.
And if you're certain that you want to have sex, never do it without protection. If there isn't any protection at hand, you'll just have to resist.

Kal

Saraah · Jan 21, 2008, 09:30 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

Honey...he SAYS he hasn't been with anyone but you. If you trust that, then take those risks with your life.

Yes, you can get pregnant, and probably will.

Is it your body telling you not to have sex? Probably. At 13, you really haven't developed completely yet.

I'd like to know how anal, which is usually a LOT more painful for most women, works for you yet vaginal doesn't.

As far as the lectures go--don't you think you deserve them, at least in part? You're taking chances with your life by having sex so young (diseases, pregnancy, etc). Don't you think you'd RATHER have people concerned about you?

You need to talk with your parents, if for no other reason than to go in and get a full gynecological examination, which you should definitely have if you're having ANY kind of sex. I'd recommend birth control as well, but you'll have to talk to your doctor about that, because I don't know what the reprecussions of birth control might have on your body.

As far as feeling bad about the lectures--tough. A lot of us have kids your age, and we'd LOVE to lock you all up so you weren't being so dumb. Unless you are absolutely ready to be a parent (and don't even TRY to tell me you are, young lady--I doubt you have a job, or a decent income, a home, a high school diploma, etc.), then you shouldn't be having sex.

I don't understand that either. I haven't told my mum or dad about any of this and I don't plan to. I don't think my mum would think much of me as she lost her virginity at a very young age aswel.Shes told me too many times not to go there and I don't want her to know I just ignored everything she ever told me. No I'm defintly not ready to be a parent and I don't want to be one either. Ive been on birth control before but I had a lot of problems with my period so my doctor told me my body wasn't ready yet and I was taken off it. I can't help having feelings for him that make me want to have sex I have a lot of friends who have and I know a lot of people who have so I don't think I'm any different Im just proud of myself because I haven't done what other girls have done Like Had sex with more than at least ten guys who are a lot older than them. I waited a full 8 months before my boyfriend saw me naked and if I trust him then I will do whatever I want. Thanks for the advice. Not meaning to sound like a know it all cause I'm not.

pookiebear32 · Jan 21, 2008, 09:31 PM

Also, I'm pretty sure your hymen is broken if he's been inside you. Like it can break in multiple ways (stretching for example) so you can't be too sure about what's going on unless you get checked out. Just be careful. I know some girls who are 14 and have experimented and they basically screwed themselves up. They lost their friends and had to make friends with kids that aren't too nice. It's really sad and you need to be careful and aware of these things. Remember, knowledge is power. Try and educate yourself about the risks and side effects these activities could involve.

rockerchick26 · Jan 21, 2008, 09:32 PM

The fact that you even have to ask these questions just proves you are too young to be having sex!! You ARE having sex by the way... oral, anal, etc ARE SEX! And yes, you can get pregnant even if your hymen is still intact. There are wholes/tears in it that allow the blood to flow through when you get your period! Use protection! Even when you don't have vaginal sex. You can still contract STDs during other sexual activities...

Saraah · Jan 21, 2008, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by pookiebear32

okay, my previous piece of advice was mis-interpreted so i'm starting over considering I have a red block. If it hurts don't do it. Like I made a promise with my boyfriend that if he's really right for me we'll be together forever right? And I think forever is long enough to have sex once we're past the age of consent. Yup yup. Like I know people who do those kinds of things (it's not uncommon so don't be so judgemental towards kids like that you other people). Also there's no age limit for over-the-counter birth control (from what I know that's accurate, right?). Are you both in for it or is it just him?

Ive stopped trying to have sex with him because I'm ovbiously not ready. Ive been on birth control before and it totally messed up my period and made it a very stressful time for me. Are we both in for what ?

pookiebear32 · Jan 21, 2008, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by Saraah

Ive stopped trying to have sex with him because im ovbiously not ready. Ive been on birth control before and it totaly messed up my period and made it a very stressful time for me. Are we both in for what ?

Well that's good that you have, especially since our hormones are all over the place. Like do both of you guys want a more intimate relationship or do you think that one of you want it more than another?

Saraah · Jan 21, 2008, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by rockerchick26

The fact that you even have to ask these questions just proves you are too young to be having sex!!! You ARE having sex by the way...oral, anal, etc ARE SEX! And yes, you can get pregnant even if your hymen is still intact. There are wholes/tears in it that allow the blood to flow through when you get your period! Use protection! Even when you don't have vaginal sex. You can still contract STDs during other sexual activities...

I already know I'm to young. And Thanks.

Synnen · Jan 21, 2008, 09:39 PM

I waited until I'd been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years before he saw me naked. I was 16.

The second time we had sex, I got pregnant. I was on the pill (taking it every day at the Same time). He wore a condom (we read the instructions and made SURE we were using it correctly) and we used a spermicide (also following the directions).

I know what those urges are like! We're not all stupid old people here who never knew that sex feels GOOD! I like sex a LOT!

BUT--you need to hold off. Mutual masturbation feels good too, and can't get you pregnant and has a MUCH lower chance of spreading disease.

You think your mom doesn't know, right? How much are you willing to bet that she does, and is just waiting for you to come to her? Honestly, parents are not all completely clueless, hon. And there's a definite change about a person when they're having sex on a fairly regular basis.

Look--what we're saying is that sex, especially given your age, is dangerous. VERY dangerous. We wouldn't want you to play with handgrenades, either, or jumping out of planes, or joining the military at your age, either.

ISneezeFunny · Jan 21, 2008, 09:46 PM

Synnen: are you serious? Pill + condom + spermicide... and pregnancy?

... do I really want to have sex anymore?. I'm not so sure...