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nymphetamine · Jan 10, 2006, 01:53 PM

No dear you did not mention it in this post but yes you are always saying" women dont want to be on a pedestal" You are the only one I know of in here that says that.

s_cianci · Jan 10, 2006, 08:36 PM

His behavior borders on harassment. You may need to take legal action to keep him from contacting you. Although it may seem that a restraining order isn't necessarily called for, it doesn't sound like he's going to let up on bugging you about the marriage part. Perhaps in lieu of an actual restraining order you could apply for an order of civil restraint. Practically it functions the same as a restraining order except that an initial violation doesn't mean jail ; rather, an initial violation results in the issue of an actual restraining order so it's like a "pre-restraining order", so to speak. This may sound harsh but this guy's obviously a pest and frankly that's the only way I see of getting him to leave you alone.

nymphetamine · Jan 10, 2006, 09:01 PM

Well if that's what it takes then. Apparently he called while I was napping or something cause I never heard the phone ring but he left a message on my machine wanting to know, " sweetie, are you mad at me? Are you okay? Call me if you need anything. I love you sweetie. Bye." I may just get a number change. Im also wondering if I tell him " yes I want to marry you" (crossing myself now) then he will no longer be interested because by me telling him "no" I'm a challenge right? So If I say " yes" maybe he will back off? Does any one understand what Im saying? I confuse my own self sometimes. Or would that just back fire? Maybe I should just get a number change.

confused25 · Jan 10, 2006, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by crankiebabie

well if thats what it takes then. Apparently he called while I was napping or something cause I never heard the phone ring but he left a message on my machine wanting to know, " sweetie, are you mad at me? Are you okay? Call me if you need anything. I love you sweetie. Bye." I may just get a number change. Im also wondering if I tell him " yes I want to marry you" (crossing myself now) then he will no longer be interested because by me telling him "no" im a challenge right? so If I say " yes" maybe he will back off? Does any one understand what Im saying? I confuse my own self sometimes. Or would that just back fire? Maybe I should just get a number change.

What! Don't do that. Then you will be playing games with him. He seems unstable so don't make things unclear for him. Be blunt and serious.

DJ 'H' · Jan 11, 2006, 03:17 AM

Originally Posted by crankiebabie

well if thats what it takes then. Apparently he called while I was napping or something cause I never heard the phone ring but he left a message on my machine wanting to know, " sweetie, are you mad at me? Are you okay? Call me if you need anything. I love you sweetie. Bye." I may just get a number change. Im also wondering if I tell him " yes I want to marry you" (crossing myself now) then he will no longer be interested because by me telling him "no" im a challenge right? so If I say " yes" maybe he will back off? Does any one understand what Im saying? I confuse my own self sometimes. Or would that just back fire? Maybe I should just get a number change.

I understand what you are saying and if this guy was not so pushey then I would agree but I don't think reverse pshycology is the answer in this situation.

You need to illiminate him very quickly.

DJ 'H' · Jan 11, 2006, 03:20 AM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Hahaha! You don't read my posts - I know who you're talking.

Thanks for the rip. Read my post again - I know who you're talking. You're the one not reading.

Wildcat - whilst I respect you and most of your answers and I thank you for your help in some of my threads; I do think you need to get down off your hgh horse in this thread. Your opinions are not always correct and in this thread I think you are going off the ball.

Not being nasty just giving positive critism so please don't take what I say the wrong way!

Parvan · Jan 15, 2006, 05:39 AM

Make it very clear to him in language that he can not fail to understand that you do not want to be with him and that you will not change your mind about it and tell him to stop calling you. From that point on do not answer his calls. Us guys have heard so much about women playing hard to get that when we think there is something real there we refuse to see the obvious. I was in a situation once where I was dating a girl and all of a sudden she was "busy" all the time for a period of about 3 weeks. I kept askign her if she was avoiding me and she would give me some pleasant reply like no I'm just really busy. I eventually told her "Well then I'll leave you alone until you are not busy and have some time to spend with me" and I never heard from her again. But the entire point leading up to that I was getting mixed signals and it would have been much better for both of us if she had just plainly stated that she was no longer interested. I know at least for me I deal much better with flat out honesty. Any mixed signals I am getting will be noted as mixed signals, but I will try to take them in the best possible light. I bet most guys would agree.

bizygurl · Jan 15, 2006, 08:58 AM

I understand this guy helped you out in a time of need, but friend or not he's being obnoxious! What guy talks that way and expects to be taken seriously "ill have you in my bed as my mistress ans my wife will have to deal with that"(I may have mis qouted" but I got the jist) What does that say about this guys moral or ethical values? He sounds like an arrogant jerk.

I know he maybe a friend to you but if you seriously want this guy to back off with all the dating and sex talk he keeps throwing at you, You may have to cut off all ties with him. Maybe then he will take it seriously. After you do, no calling him or his family, I know you have a good relationship with his mom but you have to think about yourself first in the situation.

How does his mom feel about this behavior? For some strange reason guys like this think they can have some sort of power over you and be manipulating don't give that to him.:mad:

DJ 'H' · Jan 16, 2006, 02:46 AM

Originally Posted by bizygurl

I understand this guy helped you out in a time of need, but friend or not he's being obnoxious! What guy talks that way and expects to be taken seriously "ill have you in my bed as my mistress ans my wife will have to deal with that"(i may have mis qouted" but I got the jist) What does that say about this guys moral or ethical values? He sounds like an arrogant jerk.

I know he maybe a friend to you but if you seriously want this guy to back off with all the dating and sex talk he keeps throwing at you, You may have to cut off all ties with him. Maybe then he will take it seriously. After you do, no calling him or his family, i know you have a good relationship with his mom but you have to think about yourself first in the situation.

How does his mom feel about this behavior? For some strange reason guys like this think they can have some sort of power over you and be manipulating don't give that to him.:mad:

I have had this myself. Been manipulated, controlled etc. Trust me, unless you take a stand and actually make it perfectly clear to this guy (by cutting all ties etc) he will not get the hint and will continue his little games.

nymphetamine · Jan 16, 2006, 06:20 AM

I got me a good caller id. He called and I did not answer the phone. His mama misses me and the kids and wants me to come live with her and she reminds him every day of how he let a good thing get away. She's such a sweet lady. Hasn't been doing very well lately. Then he said " well dear hopefully we can talk about wedding plans soon as everything is settled and ......... " well the list goes on. Im wondering if his mama didn't put him up to this wedding thing. I ought to have a talk with her and get her to talk to him. He is a real mamas boy and usually does what ever mommy tells him. Do you think it would be a good idea to talk to her about it?

DJ 'H' · Jan 16, 2006, 06:23 AM

It's possible his mum had some influence, it would not hurt to chat to her about it and explain that there is nothing between you and her son.

Well done on getting Caller Id and for not answering the phone :)

bizygurl · Jan 16, 2006, 07:20 AM

I would talk to her about what's going on and explain your feelings to her about her son. Tell her the things he has put you through. I know most mom's especially ones of boys especially "mama's boys" like to think that their "little boys" do no wrong(not all but some) but if she cares about you and your kids and it seems as though she does, then I'm sure she will listen to you and maybe she can have a talk with him. If he isn't going to listen to anyone else then hopefully he listens to his mama.:rolleyes:

bizygurl · Jan 16, 2006, 07:26 AM

Hey Crankie, is that a picture of you and your kids, on your avatar? What a cute picture.:D

nymphetamine · Jan 16, 2006, 08:15 AM

Thank you very much:D

DJ 'H' · Jan 17, 2006, 03:36 AM

Originally Posted by crankiebabie

thankyou very much:D

Is it really a wonder why this guy won't leave you aone (even if he is an arse) your gorgeous :) and you girls take after you completely.

nymphetamine · Jan 17, 2006, 05:06 AM

:o Oh now I am blushing. Thank you!

DJ 'H' · Jan 17, 2006, 05:07 AM

Originally Posted by crankiebabie

:o Oh now I am blushing. thank you!

No need to blush - just being honest :)

hiwiseguy · Jul 13, 2008, 03:41 AM

He's not the one who needs to get the picture. You are.

What the hell you want a friend for who is ugly inside and who makes you feel sick?

Change your number.

JudyKayTee · Jul 13, 2008, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by hiwiseguy

He's not the one who needs to get the picture. You are.

What the hell you want a friend for who is ugly inside and who makes you feel sick?

Change your number.

This post is over 2 years old - OP is not going to see your answer.

f104 · Jul 13, 2008, 08:53 AM

He is a jerk. Why are you still talking to him? He is treating you as though he owns you. You are an object to him and as long as you communicate with him he thinks he can get you back.