[Brandino747]

Anyone know why these relationships don't work? Even if there was seriously a connection between the two (reboundee and rebounder)

Anyone have experience being a rebounder and have a failed relationship with the reboundee?

[George_1950]

To use an analogy: I believe your emotional side is impaired and unable to make reasonable assessments, much like running on an injured foot or leg.

[mafiaangel180]

Normally, the old relationship is projected onto the next. The person on the rebound brings negative energy with them, meaning they could compare both relationships. They still haven't healed. There are obviously issues to fix, and the person needs to not drag another lover into the picture. The person might be looking to fill some void that the past relationship left or could be co-dependent and need someone to make them feel like a worthy person. It's just plain not healthy in any way.

[BMI]

Right on Mafiaangel, I tried giving you a greenie but it said I have to spread it around before I can give it to you?? So consider this a greenie for a very good response:)

[confused25]

Speaking as a former reboundee these sorts of relationships usually don't work because the rebounder (the one who just got out of the relationship) still has feelings for his or her ex. The memories, both good and bad, are still very fresh and if the ex ever returns then the rebounder will more then likely will want to go back to that person... this is what happened to me in a previous relationship.

However, sometimes it does work, I've seen it happen. If the rebounder is strong in character and truly left the ex without ever any intention to get back together, and top of that no longer has any feelings for the ex then a rebound relationship can definitely work.

Nevertheless I would caution against a rebound relationship because there is too much at risk, especially the reboundee's sanity. What I would suggest is to take it extremely slow. Don't jump into a relationship and instead simply date for several months before trying to commit to one another (and I do mean several months). Remember, there is a huge difference between dating and being in a relationship, and this would be the best way to gauge the rebounders feelings without getting to close that you don't want to let go.

[Brandino747]

I just asked cause I was the reboundee...

I just got out of a relationship where my ex was on the rebound. Even thou we both had tremendous feelings for each other one day she just got really insecure about her past and fell out of love with me.

[Delow84]

I'm with mafiaangel on this one. That person is just projecting the last relationship. Filling that void etc. Sometimes rebound relationships work, but usually people have to be OK being alone before they can share that with someone else.

It's the same for me in a way. There have been a few girls I could have used as rebound (and I use the word 'used' lightly) but I know from experience that it won't help me, I'm just filling my ex's spot.

[little firefly]

I just asked cause I was the reboundee...

I just got out of a relationship where my ex was on the rebound. Even thou we both had tremendous feelings for each other one day she just got really insecure about her past and fell out of love with me.

The same thing happened to me. My ex boyfriend had separated from his wife. He met me, we fell in love. He talked of wanting to spend his life with me. After a year his now ex wife decided to file for divorce. Suddenly my ex decided he wanted to save his marriage. It didn't work out. A month into the divorce he fell in love with his best female friend. I'd be surprised if he was still with her. I think his problem is that he's just afraid to be alone. Too bad he causes hurt to other people just so he won't have to be by himself... hmmm, maybe he's afraid that if he's alone he'll realize just how much of a creep he really is. I'm not bitter, just brutally honest.:D

[mafiaangel180]

Too bad he causes hurt to other people just so he won't have to be by himself.....hmmm, maybe he's afraid that if he's alone he'll realize just how much of a creep he really is. I'm not bitter, just brutally honest.:D

Lol is your ex my ex?

[little firefly]

lol is your ex my ex?

Could be... mine obviously gets around! lol. Seems that before me, he and his wife had split up two times before and each time he ended up in a short term relationship with some unlucky woman... I didn't find this out until I had already fallen for him... hmmm, PM me his name and I'll see if it matches, lol

[ForeverZero]

Every person is 2 people. There's you when you're single and comfortable. That's you at your core, and that's who you were growing up, and that's who you are when you don't care about dating because world of warcraft is so cool. There's you when you're in love. This you has totally different priorities than single you, yet you're the same person, so there's many similarities. When you break up with somebody, you're still in love with your last relationship. You may not be in love with the person anymore, or you may be in love with him/her and can't have it, but you're still emotionally invested elsewhere

Healthy relationships form from single you, and evolve into in love you. You can't start being in love with something else and just switch addictions.

[MissingHim2Much]

My ex's rebound seems to be working.. They've been living together since he left me, so they've been together almost 6 months. Hmmm maybe it's not a rebound..

If your ex leaves you for the other person, is that considered a rebound? I'm not sure.

[EuRa]

My ex's rebound seems to be working.. They've been living together since he left me, so they've been together almost 6 months. Hmmm maybe it's not a rebound..

If your ex leaves you for the other person, is that considered a rebound? I'm not sure.

I wouldn't say so. A rebound is when you are left alone in pain, then find someone soon after.

[MissingHim2Much]

I wouldn't say so. A rebound is when you are left alone in pain, then find someone soon after.

What do you call it when they leave a good long term relationship for a trampy gutter rat?
STUPIDITY?

[Delow84]

Id say a rebound is the "grass is greener" kind of thing. Whether they leave your, or you break it off. Id say if its within a month (at most) it's a rebound. No one recovers from a serious relationship that fast unless they just project their 'love' onto someone new.

[LivingtheLifeinFLA]

A rebound is when someone who has not resolved or closed their last relationship, or still has thoughts and feelings for the last relationship starts another. It could be because they left a relationship that wasn't working but still cared, got dumped by someone they cared about, had a significant other die, etc.

Many times, guys are confused because women have another man lined up as soon as they break up and think it is a rebound. In most cases it is not. Women will hang out in a bad relationship and look for their next man so they do not have to be alone (not all BTW). During this time, they remove themselves emotionally and therefore can more on with it being a rebound.

Men, it seems to me generally get blindsided in this situation by the breakup, their egos get crushed and if they move to another relationship relatively quickly, it is most likely a rebound.

However, when a man breaks up with a woman, he is done and generally the feelings are gone and he can move to the next relationship without the rebound baggage.

My experience is that the rebounds fail because the respect is not there. You cannot be selfless when you are thinking about someone else. This causes the reboundee to get unhappy and then the fights start.

[s_cianci]

Because people don't go into a rebound relationship with a clear head. That's why they're called "rebound relationships.' Anyone who's just been burned in what had been, at least from their own standpoint, a serious relationship isn't mentally or emotionally prepared to rush right back into something with a complete stranger and expect things to work out. At best, rebound relationships are a tool used by those who have been burned to ease their pain and help them heal. Of course, it rarely if ever has this effect and actually just ends up adding to the pain and frustration that's already being experienced and making things all the worse in the long run. It's also unfair to the other person in the rebound relationship who may not be rebounding at all but be genuinely interested in and ready for a meaningful, successful relationship only to be totally unaware of the rebounder's intentions, thus dragging a totally innocent third person into the mix. So rebound relationships are bad news altogether. I like the rule of thumb that people advise, of staying away from any kind of dating for 1 month for every year that the relationship went on. So if you were with someone for 5 years and things went belly-up, you need to steer clear of any semblance of another relationship for at least 5 months. That gives you time to heal and get your head cleared out.

[MissingHim2Much]

I like the rule of thumb that people advise, of staying away from any kind of dating for 1 month for every year that the relationship went on. So if you were with someone for 5 years and things went belly-up, you need to steer clear of any semblance of another relationship for at least 5 months. That gives you time to heal and get your head cleared out.

This makes a lot of sense to me... We were together for 7 yrs, been broke up for 6 months. I still have not dated, he on the other hand jumped into another relationship only 2 weeks after we split.

This could explain why his new relationship is rumored to be a very very rocky one.

[freakinconfused]

Many times, guys are confused because women have another man lined up as soon as they break up and think it is a rebound. In most cases it is not. Women will hang out in a bad relationship and look for their next man so they do not have to be alone (not all BTW). During this time, they remove themselves emotionally and therefore can more on with it being a rebound.

I think this is the only explanation I can come to when I ask myself "how is it that she dumped me, and then after a space of about 3 months hooked up with at least two guys, and is quite possibly in a relationship with the later?" I'm assuming it's because she had been thinking about dumping me for a while, and slowly had been pulling herself away from me emotionally, and by the end simply didn't love me anymore - either I was an idiot or she was good at hiding the signs, because I never saw it coming until it was too late.

[BMI]

Hey guys,

I find it interesting that so many people here KNOW what their ex-girl/guy is up to. I mean a lot of people have knowledge of how many guys/girls their ex has been with since them and so on.

In relation to that I think if many knew the girl/guy was on a rebound relationship it would make them feel better for a number of reasons. 1. It won't last and we secretly want that 2. Them rebounding must mean they did it because they were upset over losing us or at least missing us.

Its very hard to negotiate what is a rebound or not, I'd say anything that comes very soon after a break-up has all the signs of a rebound, but it matters little. Best thing is to NOT know what they do after you rather than finding out and then analyzing the seriousness of their new relationship.

Rebound or serious, they still ain't with you/us, so really what does it matter?