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ace_dre7207 · Jan 16, 2008, 10:46 PM

I had a baby awhile ago and the male that I had it with wasn't a very good man and was a poor judgement on my side. I have moved on and currently am soon to be getting married. It was never my choice that he didn't sign the birth certificate and he had many options to do so. He claims that he didn't like the baby's name and that is why he never signed. He never calls to see the baby, he never writes a letter, and never has tried to contact to me or my son whatsoever. He has a bad past with drugs and drinking, all of his charges were while he was a minor. I do not know if that matters or not? I do not want him to have any contact with my son cause he hasn't had any since he was a month old, nor do I feel that he's a fit father for him. My soon to be husband has so kindly taken in my son and I and has fallen deeply in love and would love to be a father to this "abandoned" child. I was wondering if and how I would go about having him adopt him without involving the paternal father? I know he doesn't have enough money to pay child support and his money is no good to me if my son is in or around his atmosphere. I haven't filed for any childsupport or state help finanically for this reason. He is very temperamental and I feel that he is very dangerous. How would I go about having my son adopted without a father on the birth certificate to sign off on? I do not think that it is fair for him to have to grow up without a male in his life and it is only right that the man that loves him and takes care of him and that he knows has some rights over him too? Is this possible to do? If so how and what does it take?

twinkiedooter · Jan 17, 2008, 11:11 AM

Just who's name is listed on the birth certificate as "father" for starters. Is it blank or is the boyfriend's name actually listed?

ace_dre7207 · Jan 17, 2008, 09:31 PM

He just simply choose not to sign the birth certificate so there is noones name on there besides mine as his mother and no father is listed.. can you help?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 17, 2008, 09:51 PM

NO, it does not matter that his name is not on the birth certificate.

He will have to be contacted and asked to sign his rights over to allow the adoption. Assuming he knows his child support payments will stop once the child is adopted normally helps them make that choice if he does not want anything to do with child and does not want to pay.

But no matter if he can or can not adopt. Your new husband will or should always be a man in your child's life.

ace_dre7207 · Jan 21, 2008, 09:43 AM

Well I don't receive child support. I do not know how to contact him anymore. I don't know where he is anymore and if he has moved or not. So what happens if I cannot contact him for him to sign his rights over.. which I don't really understand anyway cause how does he have rights now? He pretty much denied his rights when he didn't want to sign and could right? Does age of the child have a factor in this at all either? He is only six months and he has never wanted to see him or even pay child support to get rights to see him. As far as I thought he pretty much "abandoned" his own son?

JudyKayTee · Jan 21, 2008, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by ace_dre7207

Well I don't receive child support. I do not know how to contact him anymore. I dont know where he is anymore and if he has moved or not. So what happens if i cannot contact him for him to sign his rights over.. which I don't really understand anyway cause how does he have rights now? He pretty much denied his rights when he didnt want to sign and could right?? Does age of the child have a factor in this at all either? He is only six months and he has never wanted to see him or even pay child support to get rights to see him. As far as i thought he pretty much "abandoned" his own son?

Child abandonment is a very complex, difficult issue -

I wouldn't fool around with this but would consult with an Attorney, or, minimally, Family Court. (You don't pay child support in order to "buy" rights to see your child; those are different issues.)

If you don't settle this now he could show up in X years and demand to see "his child."

And the Court will find him, you don't have to.

ScottGem · Jan 21, 2008, 01:27 PM

You will find things will go smoother if you have an attorney prepare the adoption papers. The attorney will know what to do to make a good faith effort to contact the bio father to get him to relinquish his rights.

GV70 · Jan 22, 2008, 11:45 AM

You need to have an attorney.
Some states were adopted the doctrine of waiver.If your state is one of them you can file a petition for adoption.You have to prove that he has ever known about the child existence but he has never tried to contact and pay support.In these conditions the judge may decide that he is not " a parent" and to allow an adoption process without noticing him.
I know some other ways... but it depends on where you live in.