[drawdoow]

I need to know more about depression, I'm constantly getting put down by my family and my long-term boyfriend. In school I have very few friends and I'm starting to feel like there's no point because I'm worth nothing. I know people will say talk to someone but the person I talk to about everything is my boyfriend and he doesn't understand as he doesn't even realise he's doing it. Please answer soon as I feel that I'm just worthless and there's no point as I'mjust getting dragged down. I'm taking exams at school but I do well and although I don't think this is the problem I don't think that it helps. Also everyday I wake up feeling like I just don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything or even eat anything because I just don't see the point. Thank you for reading this.

[N0help4u]

When your family puts you down tell them "okay I am a total failure! What do you think I should do about it! Why you always have to point out that I can't do anything right???"
Then tell them how you feel.
Maybe they will see how upset you are and back off with the put downs.

I wouldn't say you are not necessarily depressed but really discouraged.

[Allheart]

Hi Drawdoow -

First, one thing I know for sure... You... ARE NOT... Pathetic. Please read that again.. and believe that.

Are your depressed? Gosh, I really don't know, sounds like some of the symptoms but I don't think I would be leaping out of bed either if the people I trusted and loved the most in my life put me down and were the cause of my sadness. So, your heavy heart is very understandable!!

As far as your boyfriend putting you down, Draw, I wouldn't even consider him a friend let alone a boyfriend. Draw, it's quite possible he does not feel too good about himself and puts you down and probably others, to fool himself into feeling better about himself. That is sad and to be honest, that's his bag to carry not yours.

As far as your family, I am not sure what to say about that. What you can do, is take a little healthy step, and as much as possible, only surround yourself with people who mean you well, who consider your feelings and respect them.

Draw, once again NOOOOO you are not pathetic, far far from it. Just by reading your post, you sound like a sweet, kind and good hearted young lady.

Try and take better care of yourself and love yourself enough to want what's best for you and surround yourself with folks who also want the best for you.

Your sad heart is so understandable. I am so glad you came here to AMHD, you will find a lot of good caring people here!!

My very best to you,
Allheart

[yuffie]

Hi draw.. no, I don't think you're pathetic.
I think it's normal to be feeling what you're feeling right now.
Since every people that are close to you just let you down like that.

I think first of all, you should tell your parents and your boyfriend how you feel about them letting you down like that. Just to make it stop. The world will back off when you make it back off right. Of course you should talk to them calmly, not with confrontation. If you're not comfortable speaking directly, just slip the topic in a casual conversation. Just tell them the truth about how you feel, and what'd u expect them to do. If they really love you, I'm sure they'll understand.

Then you should start believe in yourself. If you've had some failure before, so what? Regret makes you old. No one can go back and make a brand new start. Start from NOW and make a brand new ending! :)

I know it's probably going to be hard to keep believing yourself when everyone else lets you down. But you got to try right, no one cares about you more than yourself. :P

[Choux]

It's all downhill for a woman when her only goal in life is to get a boyfriend, or get a husband. ***All Downhill! ***

You have to develop yourself into a well-rounded individual... education, career, sports, hobbies, friends, etc... you have to start now while your parents are supporting you. Get rid of the "boyfriend"... seems he is a bad influence on your psyche.

[ampersandra]

Other than your boyfriend, who else have you talked to? Does your family know the emotional damage they are doing to you? Have you told them about this? More importantly, do they even care? I don't know the situation in your family and with your relationship, so take our words with a grain of salt and MAKE SURE THAT IF YOU REALLY DECIDE TO TAKE OUR ADVICE, IT WILL NOT CAUSE YOU ANY ABUSE.

It's honestly normal to occasionally feel a sense of worthlessness. I'm not saying that it's not a problem, because it is. But everyone feels dragged down once in a while. Try to expand group of people you can talk to about serious issues, be they friends, schoolmates, teachers, etc. The habits you listed about yourself make me think that you might have some depression. Don't take my word for it though, and go see a therapist or school counsellor. (I personally don't recommend going to a psychiatrist, especially if you're hoping for some sort quick-fix of medication.)

Other than expanding your social circle, the other thing to do is to expand your experiences. I don't know, things like sports, volunteer work, etc. Things that Choux's mentioned. Find activities that force you to be in contact with other people and you'll kill two birds with one stone.

Although this might constitute part of what I've already said in the 3rd paragraph, find some sort of creative outlet. All the better if you already have musical/dance/etc. training. If not, it doesn't hurt to just pick up a canvas, some paint and a few brushes.

Yes, it's that simple. It's easier said than done too, and I know this from experience. My way of forcing myself to do things when I get stuck is to say to myself "!@#$ it, I might as well just do it now and get it over with." The funny thing is when you're actually doing whatever you need to do, especially with other people cheering you on, you forget those negative emotions at least for a while. Another thing you can try is to gather up your energy while you count down and then force yourself to get out of bed when you reach zero.

[simoneaugie]

People will reflect back to you what you give them. It's weird to watch. Act like everything's great, and watch them react. I'd have a serious talk with your boyfriend. If he doesn't agree that you are worth supporting, dump him. Why? Because if he cannot be supportive he is emotionally and mentally not someone you would want to be with for the long term anyway.

You are not pathetic. It does sound as if you have situational depression though. Things will change, they always do. You can instigate the change yourself. Just turn around the (logical) thinking that has been lauded since the early Greek writings. Don't think, do, be. What works for positive change is to be, then do, then think.

[peggyhill]

Try talking to a counselor about the situation. If that isn't an option, a favorite teacher, youth leader, religious leader, parent, or older adult whom you trust are all good people to talk to.