[KalFour]

Hi all.

There is a summary below, as this post is rather long.

I have a history of being pursued by very creepy and unusual guys. Most of them have been people I've met in one-off encounters who have just become overly enthusiastic and then not left me alone. I'm probably not forceful enough. But some of the guys I've met have gone beyond being weird, to the point where I have actually been frightened. This includes being followed off a bus by a complete stranger who then repeatedly hung around my neighbourhood (because I wouldn't let him find out where I lived) and lied to my mother as an excuse to try to get in contact with me. Another man was married and tried to convince me to sleep with him on a train... among several other similar stories.

My most recent encounter however... was quite frightening.
At the suggestion of a mutual friend (who is going to get a severe slap next time I see her), I met a guy, Lee, for coffee. He already had my mobile number from the friend, but no other contact details. We talked a bit, he seemed very strange and eccentric, had ADHD and didn't have a great grasp of social niceties, but besides that he didn't seem too threatening. I didn't want to get involved, but didn't see any harm in keeping him in my phonebook.
The next day, he began talking to me online (I have no idea how he got my email address), and was suggesting paying for expensive functions as well as buying me dinner and chocolates. He said that I have an unusual way of thinking, and might be one of the few people who can ever really understand him... despite me having met him only once and for a brief period. He seemed to want to convince me that there is something abnormal in my way of thinking (which was quite distressing, as my ex boyfriend also tried to convince me that I have mental/psychological problems... it's making me more and more paranoid) and that he finds it attractive. I politely declined by telling Lee that I was slightly involved with a male friend (not entirely untrue) and that it wouldn't be appropriate for me to date him.
Later that night he sent me an email stating that since my other friend was only interested in my breasts, I ought to cut them off and give them to him, while my brain and the rest of me could be left for Lee.
...
Needless to say, I found this rather creepy.
Am not entirely sure what to do about the situation... but avoiding Lee henceforth seems like a top priority.

I am also quite concerned that things like this keep happening to me... being told that I ought to cut myself up is worse than usual, but I have a history of being pursued by guys with serious problems. Most of my guy friends are fairly normal... it's the randoms I meet on the street who seem to be completely screwed up and who become infatuated with me. What am I doing wrong here? Why can't I attract normal people? And how do I get rid of people who are... frightening? I can't seem to manage this because I find it so difficult to say anything that might be construed as rude... :S


SUMMARY:
I attract weirdos... the most recent of which (I had only met once) requested that I have my breasts cut off so that my "boyfriend" can have them and he can have the rest of me. How do I escape and how do I avoid such people in future?

Any tips would be appreciated,

Kal

[spartan24018]

Maybe you should tell your friends to not give out personal informations (email address, phone number, etc.). And next time when someone seems weird, even if they don't really seem threatening, you should keep yourself away from them. Try to go out with 1 or 2 friends of your friends next time so the "weirdos" will think twice of approaching you and making promiscuous demands.

[Gernald]

Well for starts just meeting people on the street and hanging out with them is asking for trouble. I don't mean to judge people but when you meet them look at their appearance, do they dress decently? Look at manorisms, how they talk, what they talk about, furthermore you need to look at yourself. Why do you think that these guys are coming after you? Is it because they think that they're your type? (I'm not suggesting this is the case but you never know).

This may not even be about you at all, it could just be that there are tons of creeps near where you live and they're all desperate for a girl.
The only suggestion I can think of if this is the case is don't give random people you meet on the street your name. This way they can't search you and get your address'.
I would also think about reporting your most recent 'friend' to the police. He sounds like a freak, and if he got your e-mail address a stalker, which can be dangerous.
Good Luck and hope you find the type of guy your looking for.

[talaniman]

Sorry for your situation, I think you need a really good coping strategy for saying NO! The suggestions of Spartan are right on, and have a talk with your friends ASAP! If a guy can't take a NO gracefully, being rude is okay when he is out of bounds. Jerks are everywhere, but dealing with them is something we all do. Don't take it personally.

[raggablue]

All of the above are correct, especially talanimans. My mother was sitting at a bar sipping her cola when this guy came up to her and started chatting to her, safe enough. Her tried unsuccessfully to chat her up and my mum said she was fine talking to him but she's not interested in anything else, he said fine ill just talk, but he kept on touching her leg, not sleezy just tapping it during conversation, she told him he was pushing it and if he did it again she would punch him, sure enough he laid his hand on her leg once again so she jumped up shouted some obscenities and smacked him in the face, breaking his nose in three places and knocking him unconscious. End of problem

[N0help4u]

I feel like the same basically. Every guy I meet has something about them that makes me want to run -the opposite direction.
Guys will tell you you have an unusual way of thinking so that they can try and influence you to think 'their way' or to make it sound like a compliment.
I don't know what you can do to get them to stop calling and emailing you.
When they try following you around tell them you can get them in trouble for stalking.
Telling them you are in a relationship or you are too independent to bother with a guy sometimes works.

When they talk sick tell them that that is a real turn off and how can they expect to get anywhere talking like that.
If they just talk weird and tell you things you'd rather not hear tell them that is a personal problem on a need to know basis and you don't need or want to know.
You can use that line if they try to ask you personal questions as well.

[raggablue]

Or boof them on the snout!!

[pyg]

oh goodness, ME TOO. Up till last month, I was stalked by a really strange guy from school.. (I don't even want to think about it). Make sure your friends DON'T give out your personal details (mine did), and try to stay near trustworthy friends that the Freaky Guy is afraid of when you know the chances of bumping into him are high. I was lucky, two of my male friends volunteered to be my personal bodyguards - one of which he was TERRIFIED of, and the other was this really muscular hunk :D

uh, and stop volunteering to meet random guys off the streets?

[KalFour]

Yeah... all sound advice. I guess it didn't occur to me that this girl would be recommending a guy who's so... ergh. I'm usually up for meeting new people, but in future I'll make certain that I'm not alone when doing so.
But seriously... why can't I attract any normal people?