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    unruhk's Avatar
    unruhk Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jan 11, 2008, 07:51 AM
    Adoption
    My father adopted my son so my son's biological father could walk away. I promised I would never cost my Dad anything and I haven't. My father is getting Social Security now and I am receiving a check also because of the adoption. How can I stop it. My other siblings are upset with me getting a check. The adoption was to be on paper only and I've taken care of my son. My mother said she didn't want to pay for my son's creation but it was said a little less nice. I just wish I could get my Dads name off the birth certificate.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Jan 11, 2008, 08:11 AM
    Hello un:

    I'm not sure if his check would be any larger if yours stopped coming. But, if you want to fix this, I'd hire a lawyer.

    However, if you guys did anything funny back then, like a fraud or something, then I'd be really, really careful about trying to change it now.

    You know, the biological father could have walked away WITHOUT the adoption... So, I don't know what you did, or why you did it.

    excon
    unruhk's Avatar
    unruhk Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jan 11, 2008, 08:16 AM
    In the state of Kansas a biological father cannot relinquish his rights unless there is someone else to take care of it. I've ask for no help and done it on my own. Problem is my nieces and nephews are wanting a check too or for me not to get one. The money is not worth the hassle. I want a peaceful life like I've had without it. My parents are now starting to dictate things with my son they didn't do anything before because they weren't paying.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #4

    Jan 11, 2008, 08:17 AM
    Yeah... I'm thinking there is more to this story, too.

    You're going to need a lawyer to get your dad off the birth certificate; It's VERY strange that they allowed him to adopt as the father while keeping you the mother, especially knowing that you would probably eventually marry, with a possible adoption at that time.

    Are you collecting any form of state or federal aid? It seems strange, as well, that you are getting a SEPARATE check than your father, unless they are pulling child support money from his social security checks.

    I don't know. But--something is weird here. You're probably going to need a lawyer to navigate this.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #5

    Jan 11, 2008, 08:25 AM
    Hello again, un:

    Like I said, I don't think HE'S paying now. The government is. I can't help you with jealous relatives. Plus, I think you'll have a great deal of HASSLE and expense trying to change it.

    Again, the biological father didn't HAVE to relinquish his rights. He could have walked away and never used the rights he had. You didn't HAVE to have him adopted.

    But, if you did, and it was legal for you to do so, then you tell your jealous family members to stuff it. YOUR bank account is NONE of their business.

    However, jealous relatives aren't going away, are they? Ok, deposit ALL the money in your sons account. It should be for HIM anyway, not you. Put it in a trust account that your son can only get when he turns 18.

    I know that's not going to satisfy your greedy relations... but, I can't fix that.

    excon
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jan 11, 2008, 09:44 AM
    Yes, it sounds like the boy is receiving social security beniits for a minor if their parent dies?? Is that correct. If so,while it may come in your name,the money is the child's, not yours anyway, andnot your choice to cheat the son out of the money.

    You did enough damage in my opinoin by not making the natural father pay child support all of these years.

    But it is not your brother and sisters issue and not their money
    unruhk's Avatar
    unruhk Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Jan 11, 2008, 10:02 AM
    Thanks for the comments. I've raised my son for 10 years alone. I haven't remarried, but I'm not that old. My Dad retired and that is why my son comes into a check. It goes to my Dad and then he sends me a check. Yes, I agree I need a lawyer and a Divorce from my family. The b-dad didn't want to pay child support and chose to relinquish everything. I thought at the time not making a man be a father and handling it was the best thing for my son. I think I'll take the check, help my son out and not have anything to do with the family.
    macksmom's Avatar
    macksmom Posts: 1,787, Reputation: 152
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    #8

    Jan 12, 2008, 11:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Synnen
    Yeah...I'm thinking there is more to this story, too.

    You're going to need a lawyer to get your dad off the birth certificate; It's VERY strange that they allowed him to adopt as the father while keeping you the mother, especially knowing that you would probably eventually marry, with a possible adoption at that time.

    Are you collecting any form of state or federal aid? It seems strange, as well, that you are getting a SEPARATE check than your father, unless they are pulling child support money from his social security checks.

    I dunno. But--something is weird here. You're probably going to need a lawyer to navigate this.
    I totally agree here... there seems to be more to the story.

    About 4 years ago my daughters father agreed to relinquish his parental rights upon my request. I went to my attorney and he said unless I had someone to adopt her in his place it couldn't be done. I asked could my mother adopt in his place and I was told I would have to say I too, was unfit to care for my child and I would have to relinquish my parental rights to my mother as well. I couldn't keep my parental rights and have my mom adopt her too.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #9

    Jan 12, 2008, 12:13 PM
    This is a hard thread to follow. Why exactly are you receiving a check, even if on your son's behalf? Your father adopted him and that makes him the legal father of your son. That's all well and good. But I've never heard of children receiving social security benefits when a parent retires. If they die, then yes but obviously your father isn't deceased. However, if in fact your son is legally entitled to this money then why worry about it and why try to stop it? If the rest of your family is jealous then that's their problem, not yours. I also don't understand the part about your mother "not wanting to pay" for this child. As the legal father, your father is responsible for supporting your son. However, I'm sure you didn't sue your father for child support so your mother isn't "paying" for anything and these checks that you're receiving aren't garnishments from your father's social security payments. Social Security isn't subject to garnishment anyhow. But I'd really like to know just what's going on here.

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