[brw15]

We do not know if a friend is divorced or separated she will not say. I odd thing is her husband and her kids live a minute walk away from each other. Have you ever heard of ex's living this close?:)

[Fr_Chuck]

While I think it is silly I have heard of people divorced living in the same house, even know a few.

People living next door don't have to see each other if they don't want to, and it does work good for the kids to see both parents.

And I guess they don't think it is any of your business. If you are a friend, you support them, be there for them, and help them, if and when they are ready to tell you, they can.

[brw15]

My friend told she is divorced her husband says they are not

[Fr_Chuck]

So?? Does it really matter, unless this friend is someone you are starting to date. Perhaps they have filed but it is not settled, perhaps they are and he has not accepted it.

How long have they been apart, you can of course go down to the county court house and look up the divorce records if you have to know

[brw15]

Its not that I have to know you need to get some manners you are very rude. I do counseling. Please try a little kindness.

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry if you think I am rude, but to me it sounds rude that you will not just take your friends comments for what they are worth and want to try and check up on friends.

A real friend is just there for another person, and knows when it is time , they will tell them and open up for them. So one side or the other is lying or merely telling you the truth from they way they see it.

Maybe one filed for divorce, to them they are divorced since it is filed.
Maybe the other is very religious and believes, once married always married no matter what.

If a person is a friend, they accept the other person regardless and not worry about it.

I have about 20 seconds to get a point across, being blunt is often the only way it works. Being blunt is not rude, it is merely being honest and blunt telling someone something they don't want to hear.

If you wish rude, as a couselor you should know that you don't need to force anyone to talk about a relastionship until they are ready to.

[George_1950]

Go to the courthouse and look through the records. They are public.

[oneguyinohio]

Its not that I have to know you need to get some manners you are very rude. I do counseling. Please try a little kindness.

Awww shucks, I isn't feeling the love and Carl Rogers would not likely approve of your attempt to earn other's positive regards... So what theory of counseling are you coming from?

[brw15]

I am and ordained minster and do all sorts. God loves you too.

[kraz]

Why is it so important for you to know??
Your friend and her husband are entitled to their private issues staying their issues, not anyone else's, unless they choose.
Will it diminish your friendship knowing she is divorced; does it really matter, friends are friends, just support her and her decisions.

[brw15]

Kraz because she has been my best friend for many years and she and I are very close if you know what I mean. We have not had sex but I do not to step into the middle of something.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, there is far too much to this story. As a pastor myself, I don't start gong behind their backs to prove or not prove their stories, I would with the people and cousel them as needed. If they wish to lie to me, you allow it and go on from there.

And yes while there may not be, the poster is being far to defensive and not really forth coming with information as to why he needs to know.

** and we did answer that as to going to the court house and look up divorce records.

And I am normally ashamed by people who use an excuse of being a Christian or esp being a pastor as an excuse to behave in a manner that is unwarranted.