[starbuck8]

I feel like I have a big black clowd that follows me through everyday. I have gotten to the point where I have become agoraphobic. I used to be outgoing, popular, and would just let things roll off my back. In a nutshell, I've been through a marriage that ended because of his blatent infidelity, and 2 long term relationships that were mentally, verbally and physically abusive, and also ended with cheating. I have a sister that hasn't spoken to me in several years for no apparent reason, another sister who just has no time, and a brother with whom I tread lightly so I don't upset him! A Mom and Dad who talk about the importance of family, but don't practise what they preach, and friends that stab you in the back when you're not looking! I had 2 people who I considered to be my best friends, at the end of the day, and one threw me a real curve ball on New Years Eve, and we are not speaking now. I am not working right now, and on disability because of a hip injury that happened several yrs ago, so that keeps me at home alone a lot too. I have been to some counsellors, but it's now hard to get myself out during the day to get to any appts. Only my 1 sister that doesn't speak to me, and my brother who doesn't care, live where I live, so I don't get any help from them. This has seemed to all spiral out of control last Christmas when my ex broke into my house and assaulted me (broke my ribs and my cheekbone) and the legal system doesn't provide much help. It just seems like there are no more truly caring people left in this world at all! Some people can't remember the last time they cried... I can't remember the last time I didn't. I would just like some hope that things might get better someday... or if I'll jusst go to sleep and not wake up! I still hold out hope that there is someone out there that still cares!

[Choux]

Having a happy and successful life is all about having many interests in life so that when one area goes to ruin, a person has many other things to do that are going just fine.

I think your main emphasis has been on your relationships, so that when relationship problems swamp you, you get emotionally destroyed.

It is very important for a person to build a life, not just be driven by whatever way the wind blows. This is not the easiest lesson to learn, and not the most quick solution, but the only solution.

I think a Life Coach would be a great help for you. A well-balanced life includes activities such as participating in sports, having crafts, going to night school, volunteering, reading, friendships... and so on.

The wonderful thing is as soon as you begin to build a life, you start to feel better right away. :) Everyone has to go through this, build a life suitable to his/her situation, in order to be happy.

My best wishes to you,