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confused25 · Dec 29, 2005, 09:30 PM

I'm 20 years old and don't have much experience when it comes to dating. I was wondering if it's a good or bad thing to ask a girl if you can kiss her before the first kiss. Some say it shows weakness and girls don't want to be asked because it ruins the moment, and others say that asking first is a better idea because it shows you respect her. What's your advice? Ask then kiss her, or just kiss her?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 29, 2005, 09:40 PM

OK, now this is from an older man, but I would say that YES

Yes you can or no you don't have to.

I do not know what culture you are from, what country you live in.

If you live in some countries and culture, you had better been dating for 3 months and then ask her grandmother first.

Normally you just lean over and kiss,

I had a friend ( this is from college days) he stood on the corner of our campus and asked every girl that walked by if they would kiss him.
( this was in the mid/late 70's)
He got about 1/2 to kiss and also got a few dates from it.

mrs.pennell · Dec 29, 2005, 09:55 PM

I agree with Fr Chuck... you can go either way on this one. But I bet if a girl wants you to kiss her you'll know! The signs will be there... maybe she'll even kiss you! :D

fredg · Dec 30, 2005, 06:54 AM

Hi,
At 63 yrs old, married 28 yrs, I see nothing wrong in asking a girl if you can kiss her. As another said, it will show her you respect her.
Building a relationship means respect, caring, and being honest with each other.
Ask her, and she will appreciate it. Bet she says "yes"!!
Happy New Year.

nymphetamine · Dec 30, 2005, 07:39 AM

If the girl gives you signs that she really likes you I say go for the kiss. If she hasn't given you any signs and you feel unsure just ask. All women are diffferent when it comes to that sort of thing. Yeah its all nice and fairy taley when you get a kiss that just happens but usually women who want that kind of kiss are unrealistic and probably expect a marriage proposal by the 2nd date. Nice to have a kiss that just happens but when you expect it to happen that's not any fun. If the girl hasn't given you any signs she might not want to kiss you or she may not be ready so just ask. Better safe than sorry.

confused25 · Jan 3, 2006, 09:15 AM

Wow I think it's great you that you are all here to offer your advice. Thanks for the help!

t_rod95 · Mar 1, 2007, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by confused25

I'm 20 years old and don't have much experience when it comes to dating. I was wondering if its a good or bad thing to ask a girl if you can kiss her before the first kiss. Some say it shows weakness and girls don't want to be asked because it ruins the moment, and others say that asking first is a better idea because it shows you respect her. What's your advice? Ask then kiss her, or just kiss her?

You have to both want to kiss, and if she asks you then she respects you or it shows weakness in her. It could also have to do with never kissing before. Is that the case with you?

emoXpixxie · Mar 2, 2007, 05:08 AM

When you feel the time is right, smile at her, then slowly lean in. This usually works, well it does on me anyway. Don't just kiss her, if you lean in and then she does, hey presto. Don't go all the way, give her the choice and that's the same as asking. Hope this helps.

kristynn · Mar 2, 2007, 06:44 PM

NO, you don't have to ask. Just do it if you feel the moment is right and the person likes you as much as you like her.
Just take it easy...

incognito · Mar 2, 2007, 10:25 PM

Timing, timing, timing.
You'll know when the time is right.

lacuran8626 · Mar 4, 2007, 11:18 AM

Originally Posted by confused25

I'm 20 years old and don't have much experience when it comes to dating. I was wondering if its a good or bad thing to ask a girl if you can kiss her before the first kiss. Some say it shows weakness and girls don't want to be asked because it ruins the moment, and others say that asking first is a better idea because it shows you respect her. What's your advice? Ask then kiss her, or just kiss her?

When you feel the time is right, rather than flat out asking in question form, you might say something like, "you know, I've been dying to kiss you" and then just lean in slowly. This way, she will feel like you gave the courtesy of asking, but you won't come off as weak because it's a bold statement.

A man once used this approach with me, and it was really lovely. I felt he was taking the lead without making presumption.

I think it's best not to move in any way for a kiss on the first date - if she accepts a second date, you will have more confidence that she would welcome the kiss and will also feel like you are looking for a woman of substance and not just a quick fling.

Also, instead of worrying too much about rules and regulations, focus on your date and just relax. Don't drink a lot, but a glass of wine or a beer can be kind of nice and relax you a it. If you feel attracted to her, she probably feels it, too. But, if it's just a mess of tension, it's not right and don't force it.

xxluvmexxhatemexx · Mar 31, 2008, 03:43 PM

I see nothing wrong with it

N0help4u · Mar 31, 2008, 03:59 PM

I would say go with the flow.
If it is really romantic and she seems like she is ready and waiting just do it cause if you ask it could ruin 'the moment'.
If you are dropping her off at home or something and want to kiss her but not sure if she wants to or not then ask. She might admire the old fashioned approach.

Simple Asian · Mar 31, 2008, 05:20 PM

it all up to you whether you want to ask or not...

also when you with the girl... you have the feeling that she might want to kiss you or the timming is right?. go for it ^^ don't ruin the moment

jasmine_rezzag · Apr 1, 2008, 06:38 PM

As a woman,I prefer he does not ask me for that if I like him very much!but if I don't like that man,I won't give him any signs or chance to kiss me!

confused25 · Apr 2, 2008, 02:09 PM

LOL! I asked this question about 2 years ago! Wow have things changed since then. Well, I believe this is still a relevant question for any guy who is in the position I was in so long ago. Therefore, 2 years later here is what I've learned.

After having dated a few girls it's pretty clear that a lady who wants you to kiss her will show you some signs. Consequently, in my opinion the guy should just go for the kiss. There is nothing wrong with asking, but when you just go for the kiss it shows confidence on your part and it creates this magical moment that all women want. There may be times when you get rejected because you may have misread the signs, but just stay calm and apologize for being too forward. However, as I mentioned, if a girl really likes you she will be more than happy that you went for the kiss. Hope this helps!

nickshehe · Apr 3, 2008, 08:19 AM

You can usually tell whether they want to kiss or not.. look for the signs.. I wouldn't ask though, there was a post above that said better to be safe than sorry.. You benefit more from just diving into kiss ( sappy romantic drama hollywood e.t.c )..

I mean isn't going for a kiss and getting rejected more or less the same as asking a girl to kiss you and her saying no?

I think both suck equally :)

niaghyp0e · Apr 4, 2008, 07:52 PM

I would suggest do something sweet (you know set the mood) and get close you could usually sense it by the vibe!!

Guest1 · Apr 5, 2008, 10:47 PM

Just ing kiss her, it's not a big deal. Last girl I kissed.

"Ok, I have to kiss you right now"

*makeout*

Simple , If she doesn't want to make out she'll stop me. You can ask for forgiveness later.

To fully answer the question, don't ask!! "oh , we're going to makeout I can feel it". Whatever, it doesn't matter man, just warn her. She'll put up a white flag if its not cool.