[Tuscany]

I first joined AMHD on a whim as I was searching for new teaching ideas for a unit I was working with my students on. I stayed because of the people that I met here. I was lucky enough to encounter some of the kindest, compassionate, and knowledgeable people and I am truly blessed to have found this site. Perhaps it is my fault that I had grown accustom to the chats, the interaction, and the friendships. But the truth is I had.

I miss those chats, the conversations, the friendships that were started here. But as life goes on, things change, I might not like it, but it happens. Change has happened here. To those of you who have touched my life I thank you, your gifts of friendship and listening will always have a special place in my heart.

God Bless everyone at AMHD and may you have the peace, love, and comfort that you all deserve in 2008.

Best regards,
Tuscany

[RubyPitbull]

Tuscany honey! Happy New Year and may your 2008 be filled with good health, happiness, & love.

I hope your post doesn't mean you are planning on not returning. Sometimes, people just get busy and forget to touch base with people they have developed an online friendship with. I also think the chat comes and goes in cycles. I know for me, I just haven't had that much time to dedicate here in the past couple of months. Usually, my priority is to answer questions when I have the time, and if I have some additional time, I get into chitchat if I am in the mood to do so. Right now, I am not up to answering my usual questions, so with the limited time I have to spend on here at the moment, I respond to some of the updates waiting in my inbox, and/or I look around a little, and find questions that interest me.

Are you perhaps feeling some melancholy due to the holidays and not too many people are available to chat much here?

[Wondergirl]

Tuscany, I'm fairly new here but have already seen what helpful and interesting things you have to say. You were missing in action for a while, and I hope you plan to continue to contribute. I was a teacher for a long time, so would be happy to chat with you about teaching or about other topics.

[Tuscany]

Thank you Ruby ahd Wonder for replying. And Ruby I understand what you are saying about being busy. Heck there are days (weeks even) that I might only get a chance to log on quick.

It is just this feeling that I get. I used to think of AMHD more of a community then a website. But, that feeling (at least for me) is gone.

I will continue to check in from time to time. Old habits die hard. Besides, I enjoy helping people.

[RubyPitbull]

I know what you mean about the community feeling. I think it has more to do with the novelty wearing off after a period. ;) Maybe we will feel that way again when early spring rolls around. That is when I thought we were all a little goofy, silly, and generally having a grand old time.

[Wondergirl]

I think it has to do with "new people" who climb aboard. I felt the same way you do when I was a regular on another Q&A site. I had joined fairly early in its history, had helped get it off the ground, and got to be cyber friends with the main gang who were charter members. Then the new people began to join. Some stayed and got to know everyone. Others disappeared fairly quickly, and too soon after we had invested in getting to know them. Still others became members just to cause trouble and create arguments and be loudmouths. Charter members quit in disgust or to find greener pastures. The site just wasn't the same any longer with only the core community in place.

[RubyPitbull]

Very well put Wondergirl. I think that did happen here prior to our joining but it is very much like that with me. I don't feel compelled to participate as much, although I do like helping people, as I believe most people here do. I also found I was putting off too many things and I have been focusing on those things in the past few months. I guess that falls under the novelty factor I was mentioning. Maybe when I get completely snowed in here within the next month, I will feel differently again. ;)

[startover22]

I first joined AMHD on a whim as I was searching for new teaching ideas for a unit I was working with my students on. I stayed because of the people that I met here. I was lucky enough to encounter some of the kindest, compassionate, and knowledgeable people and I am truly blessed to have found this site. Perhaps it is my fault that I had grown accustom to the chats, the interaction, and the friendships. But the truth is I had.

I miss those chats, the conversations, the friendships that were started here. But as life goes on, things change, I might not like it, but it happens. Change has happened here. To those of you who have touched my life I thank you, your gifts of friendship and listening will always have a special place in my heart.

God Bless everyone at AMHD and may you have the peace, love, and comfort that you all deserve in 2008.

Best regards,
Tuscany

You put everything so perfectly in words. Tus, you bring me to think that your truth is also mine. As hard as it may be to admit that I sure did rely on some of you to put a smile on my face on a daily basis. I miss the chats and the "certain" special way we all had here. I understand where you are coming from. As with you, I found many loving, caring, enthusiastic, and compassionate people (to say the least) and you my friend, are one of them. I will appreciate you even we are not here on the Desk!

I wish it could all go back and be the same, but things have definitely changed, so let us move forward! Please be here, even if it is for the sole purpose of answering or asking questions, for goodness sakes girl you are wonderful at it. Your advice here means a lot, to me and others.

Ruby and Wondergirl, you are too, you are both two great people that I have met on here, although we never constantly chatted, I was always excited to see what you had posted! :)

Happy New Year to you and all of your families as well. Lot's of hugs!:)

[JoeCanada76]

I first joined AMHD on a whim as I was searching for new teaching ideas for a unit I was working with my students on. I stayed because of the people that I met here. I was lucky enough to encounter some of the kindest, compassionate, and knowledgeable people and I am truly blessed to have found this site. Perhaps it is my fault that I had grown accustom to the chats, the interaction, and the friendships. But the truth is I had.

I miss those chats, the conversations, the friendships that were started here. But as life goes on, things change, I might not like it, but it happens. Change has happened here. To those of you who have touched my life I thank you, your gifts of friendship and listening will always have a special place in my heart.

God Bless everyone at AMHD and may you have the peace, love, and comfort that you all deserve in 2008.

Best regards,
Tuscany

Hello Tuscany, Very Good Post.

I was very blessed to meet a lot of tender, kind hearted and genuine people here on this website. I have been on other websites for years. The Question and answer, mostly Christianity subject but since have got into other subjects as well. The main reason for me joining is to help others. My inner being just wanted to give hope, and be able to guide others in a better life. This website by far is the best one ever. Nothing compares. This is a top notch website with great people on it trying to make a difference in somebody elses life.

I personally have met a lot of people here and we have grown into a family, I have said this before but we all are family. We have changed and grown but still remain the same. If that makes any sense to anybody.

This website is geared as a question and answer site, but it also has different parts of the site set up for discussions, which are very healthy and beneficial for everybody involved. Tuscany change might have occured, but we can all remain the same with change. It is a matter of letting go of the past and moving foward to a even closer family and friends for the future.

Now for me, there are some people who may feel that I have hard feelings towards them, this was never ever the case. The way I see it is we are like every other family. There are so many different personalities and manurisms and families do not always get a long 100 percent of the time. We are not the brady bunch or leave it to beaver, you know what I mean. It would be nice, that everybody understands everybody all the time, that there are no misunderstandings but in this day and age, it is going to happen. When it does happen though I believe that it should even make everybody stronger and happier eventually.

So with that said, we all have had our AMAZING experiances on this website, and with change comes better things. So I will say here right now that I WISH everybody here a happy new year. Brighter futures, better experiances and new beginnings.

I wish this for all who visit here looking for answers in their lives. We all make up this website and we all learn from each other. So with lots of love and best wishes. I am going to end my post.

So for the new year. Lets all start with answering questions, asking questions and becoming closer to the friends and family we have found here through amhd and continue with the discussions, and have a strong presence in the lounge. Lets keep it up and bring a more positive outlook for everyone here, NEW AND OLD.

Love you all and hugs to you all.

Joe

[CaptainRich]

I, too, have to admit... the people that I've met and learned to care for and about have spurred me to continue here. I have enjoyed great friendships and bonding. It's unfortunate that it has stumbled, slightly, but hasn't been knocked down.
I still enjoy the encounters with those I consider both friends and family. That won't stop. The time we shared won't be lost! Those bonds will strengthen and keep us. I think the new name could be a factor: the Lounge. During a busy day, after doing all the things that need to be done, it's nice to hang out and catch our wind while chatting with good company!
Does anybody remember this:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge/just-135324.html

[Stringer]

You put everything so perfectly in words. Tus, you bring me to think that your truth is also mine. As hard as it may be to admit that i sure did rely on some of you to put a smile on my face on a daily basis. I miss the chats and the "certain" special way we all had here. I understand where you are coming from. As with you, I found many loving, caring, enthusiastic, and compassionate people (to say the least) and you my friend, are one of them. I will appreciate you even we are not here on the Desk!

I wish it could all go back and be the same, but things have definitely changed, so let us move forward! Please be here, even if it is for the sole purpose of answering or asking questions, for goodness sakes girl you are wonderful at it. Your advice here means a lot, to me and others.

Ruby and Wondergirl, you are too, you are both two great people that I have met on here, although we never constantly chatted, I was always excited to see what you had posted! :)

Happy New Year to you and all of your families as well. Lot's of hugs!:)

Great post Start... you too Wondergirl and Ruby..

[ordinaryguy]

I've been hanging around here for a little over a year, and in that time I've seen a number of people become very active for a few weeks or months, then disappear, sometimes slowly, sometimes abruptly. I always wonder what happened when I notice that somebody's gone, but most of the time we just don't know.

Because the topics we discuss are sometimes very personal and intimate, I think there's a temptation to think that we know each other better than we actually do. Several times in my life I've had the experience of meeting somebody in person whom I've previously known only through what they've written, either in personal correspondence or in books or magazine articles. More often than not it has been a disappointment, because it turned out that in spite of agreeing about certain concepts or ideas, when we were actually face to face in each other's presence, we weren't that comfortable with each other.

I just try to keep in mind that this is a very small peep hole into the lives and personalities of folks I'll almost certainly never meet in person, so it's not good to invest too much emotional energy in the "connection" that we may seem to have. I'm not saying it isn't real or significant, because occasionally it probably is, but we never really know for sure who we're talking to or how we're being interpreted by others. The written word can be very powerful in certain instances, but it is simply not capable of conveying the complex, contradictory, inconsistent reality of a complete human being. Even face-to-face communication and long-term proximity can't fully do that, as anyone who's been married for any length of time can attest.

I find AMHD to be valuable as an outlet for parts of myself that don't have a ready means of expression in my "ordinary" life, and I appreciate that. But I have no illusion that it's a community in any but the most virtual of realities. Maybe having lower expectations is what keeps me mostly satisfied with the experience. If at some point, I find other ways to give voice to the parts of myself that are involved in these exchanges, I'll disappear as well, but until then, I thank you all for the pleasures and insights that we share.

[startover22]

Ordinaryguy, you have made some great points here. Again, it is plain to see that I am guilty of investing my feelings on this site. On the same side of things I also agree that there may never be a time where we meet face to face, I have brought this up plenty of times, and still have the question whether we would be uncomfortable or not. Some, well maybe, others, probably not. In all of us there is a little more that comes out through writing, I wouldn't probably be able to have a spur of the moment conversation and say things out loud as I have said here in my writing. You are so right there. I have definitely found some wonderful people, that on a personal basis will most likely always be in touch with whether we are here at the desk or not! Thank you for your post, it brings light and truth, at least for me.

[rpg219]

I too am guilty of investing personal attachments to my "virtual" friends. I somewhat agree with ordinaryguy... these are people you "really" don't know. However, there are times that I wish I could see some of you face to face... a real hug would be so much better than our "virtual" hugs. There are a select few that I am closer to than my own family. To me, that is the greatness of virtual... words can be expressed a lot easier for me this way... therefore, drawing closer bonds with these people.

My personal belief on this subject:
There are many that come here to ask one question and never show their face again and there are some that stick around for a while. Either way... we should welcome them with open arms. There have been times where I see an attitude from older members towards the newer members. No one wants to be treated with an I'm older therefore I'm better attitude. I think this may run a lot of people off. Keep in mind that we were all new at one point... we would not have wanted people to treat us like that. I feel I was very welcomed by most here... lets continue that.

Everyone has an opinion, and everyone's opinion is right... to them. Debating on subjects is one thing, but when you treat people with disrespect towards their own opinion... it can be a little offensive and make them run.

I also agree with Joe... let's start the new year fresh and on good terms with everyone here.

Hugs and more hugs to you all! And may I see you all in the Lounge and on top of the answers soon.

[jrebel7]

As I read these posts I find they express what I have been feeling and I thought it was just something in me. I am not much of a joiner in the first place. This has been such a welcoming, warm, exciting, accepting place to be, I have found myself spending more time on it than I should but it feels so good when I see a post from someone I have become acquainted with although only through virtual reality. I am a little confused. I guess it is sort of like when I was growing up. I thought every friend I had would be a friend for a lifetime. I finally, as an adult realized it is true that some are for a reason, some are for a season and some are for a lifetime. Perhaps it is the same in virtual as in real life. I do feel I know some of you either by reading your posts to others or by your comments and/or posts to me. Thank you to each of you. You have made me smile and made me feel a part of something wonderful. I have noticed the threads ebb and flow. That has been a little difficult for me but I have only been here a few months so I just figured this must be how it is on a site of this nature. I was not sure what awaited me when it was suggested I try out one of the threads but the exchange of ideas, talents, information, and suggestions that I read on this site made me want to be a part of it. Like Tuscany, I have felt a sadness. Maybe the newness does wear off like some of you said. For now, I am still excited about it and look forward to more communication and sharing of thoughts, ideas, talents, and friendships. So until change moves me elsewhere, I am here and looking forward to making more virtual friends. Where else could we meet people in such diverse walks of life, in so many age groups, those from other countries and from my country, willing to help others.

I have had a lot of loss in my life the last two years and am still dealing with two extremely difficult issues. When I get on this site, it all goes away at least for a few minutes. I don't mean I am using it as an escape but just saying it has provided a place of refuge for my emotions that allows me to regroup as I also hopefully help someone else or inspire someone else to try new avenues in art. Reading answers from others also helps give me perspective in my own situations. It has been an incredible blessing to me.

I am going to try to learn from what each of you posted here though so that I don't feel so sad as I see change. Change is inevitable. Every end is a new beginning. Thank you to those who mean so much to me now and to those who will have an impact on my life in the future. I have noticed when I share with my friends I run around with here in my town about the site and all the really amazing people I have met through it, they look at me like I am just about a half-a-bubble off. That is when I just want to bring them into this virtual world so they can experience what I have experienced.

Tuscany, thank you for expressing your thoughts and feelings. You hit my thoughts and feelings I have been having "Dead On". Your post and the posts that have come as a result of this one, have made me more determined to stay and be a part of something great and hope I can contribute and be an encourager for someone else. I hope you do also.

[Tuscany]

Thank you all of you who have posted here. So many of you have put your feelings into words much better then I could (and did).

And Joe is right... on to 2008. Let's help others as we would like to be helped when in need.

[jrebel7]

I look forward then to seeing you on the thread! :)

[Allheart]

Hi everyone,

First, I miss and love each of you so much! Tuscany, hugs to you and I do understand what you are saying. OG, as always, your writing is filled with such truth and wisdom. I am so guilty as well of investing the emotions. But it is not voluntary. All of you, as well as those who are new and come here with problems just find a way of capturing my heart. I do feel, on some level, I do know some of you and miss all of you so much.

I feel terrible, that I am one who just poofed disapperared. I worry about different ones, and think of you so often. I want so much to jump back in. The truth is, I have been recently treated for depression and anxiety. Which is something very new to me. I say it is since I stopped smoking, where there may be some truth in that, but I will never go back…It has actually been a year.

Anyway, I am so upset at myself for having this anxiety and depression, but I am slowly getting back to who I once was, but still need some improvement. The reason I share this with all of you is because that is why I have pulled away. All of you do touch my heart, and those who post in need of help, I do feel there pain. So, I am trying to just taper down anything that may cause any type of emotion just till things balance out a little. When I feel, I feel deeply and I am trying so hard to get back to where I was. I am starting to feel a little better but do have a bit to go and am a little frustrated with myself.

Please know, that I do think of all of you often, and you are no further than my heart. Tuscany, I do understand, there are times I felt that way too, but believe it or not, it does pass and that close feeling comes back. It's just like a circle of friends, most times the bond is unbreakable and then life events can add a little static, but true friends find there way back (virtual or life).

I promise you, I am okay just trying to put the “All” back in Allheart.

Much love and even more hugs,
Allheart

[ordinaryguy]

Allheart! There you are! I was afraid you had disappeared for good. I'm so glad to know what's up with you, and I completely understand and support your need to tone it down a little while you find a new equilibrium. I'm so sorry you're having a rough patch, but it's the rough patches that smooth off our sharp corners and prickly aspects. I have great confidence that you'll get, not just back, but to an even better place.

It's a constant lesson to strike the right balance between giving and receiving. Your temptation is to tip too far to the giving side, which leads to depletion and exhaustion. It's not selfish to see to your own needs first, because if you're not nourished and healthy, you can't help anyone else.

Courage, friend!

[startover22]

Allheart, I miss you, but will wait as long as it takes to gather up your stuff and come back sweet! I understand, and agree with OG about giving and giving... you got to feed yourself
For a change. Hugs and love. Thinking about you always! GO Allheart!