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Simple Asian · Dec 30, 2007, 02:52 PM

Just like every nice guys out there... I am one... and if you no that most of us.. have been thought rejected server times b.c :( " sorry you are such a nice guy....i dont want to hurt you .." or "sorry you are a really good friend..and really nice to me ...and i just can't seem to see me dating you and end up hurt you .."

So... hahaha my questions are what so bad about nice guys ?:confused:

And should we countinues being a nice guys ?

Or we stop being a nice guy.. meaning... being a jerk ? But also meaning like just don't be too nice ? :p

Go and express your feeling guys?. this is open topic... guys and gals all welcome... :D

N0help4u · Dec 30, 2007, 03:34 PM

I think some girls just don't like guys falling all over them and putting them up on a pedestal
Many girls don't want to be treated to either extreme they just want a guy that is genuine and to be treated as an equal.

nicespringgirl · Dec 30, 2007, 05:33 PM

Be that nice guy please!
Not all girls like jerks... I don't!

George_1950 · Dec 30, 2007, 07:14 PM

Always conduct yourself in a way that would make your mother proud. Getting dumped is similar to getting fired from your job in that your boss can fire you for wearing the wrong color sox; she doesn't want to hurt your feelings (as if she cared anyway), so you get 'nice guy' or 'friend' status. Please!

JohnnyP409 · Dec 30, 2007, 08:40 PM

Being a nice guy pays off later in life. Continue on.

Simple Asian · Dec 30, 2007, 09:13 PM

So as far as pplz saying here... girls don't like guys b.c nice guys don't have confident..

So girls end up with a**hole ? Jerk ? b.c they have confident to beat you girls... yell at you girls and cheat?.

oneguyinohio · Dec 30, 2007, 09:29 PM

Your post reminded me of the girl who gave me the line that I was such a nice guy that she loved, and something bad always happened bad to the nice guys that she loved, so she was dumping me... She went on to tell about a friend and a brother that she loved and lost... It all seemed like baloney to me... not wanting to lose someone so you get rid of them... OK?

I have seen her twice in my life since then and heard an update via a friend... over the last 22 years... seems she has never married, been with many partners both mail and female, and has no children...

What all of that has taught me is that when people break up with you using those excuses, it reveals more about them than it does you. If you are happy with the way you act, don't try to be anything different. Would you respect yourself for being nasty to someone, just because they stayed with you?

If they don't want you, because they choose the bad boy, then they are making that decision based on their personality... which may not seem wise in the long run, but many people only look at the short term.

Keep looking, and also think about the types of girls you are looking at. Have you noticed anything about their personalities that attract you to them? Something that might reveal their interest in the bad boys??

Simple Asian · Dec 30, 2007, 10:01 PM

That I post this is just to find out how pplz... think about nice guys overall...

As everyone saying... girls like guys who confident...

But most of girls like... oh you such a nice guys... and turn them down.. b.c they think that nice guys don't have confidence... but how you girls so sure that them bad boys have confidence ?

oneguyinohio · Dec 30, 2007, 10:13 PM

Evidently, a person who smacks someone else and gets into trouble does it because they are confident? That has to be wrong. Assertive might be a better word choice.

p3nn · Dec 30, 2007, 10:19 PM

Trouble seems to be that many of the jerks have mastered the art of looking like a nice guy in order to score.And of course those burnt by these end up a little cautious which I can't blame them for. But from one nice guy to another I'd say just be yourself. If she isn't interested in you for you then don't despair. Sooner or later you'll find that someone. I believe in the old do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. So if you want to end up with a nice girl, keep being that nice guy ;)

ordinaryguy · Dec 31, 2007, 06:21 AM

Nice is good. Real is better. True is best.

Where nice often goes wrong is being so focused on the Other that you forget to be Yourself.

p3nn · Dec 31, 2007, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by ordinaryguy

Nice is good. Real is better. True is best.

Where nice often goes wrong is being so focused on the Other that you forget to be Yourself.

Agreed. Oft we become so focused on being true to the other that we forget to be true to ourselves. And as the ole saying goes: "If you can't be true to yourself, you can't be true to anyone." For us nice guys this means don't worry about seeming nice or not. Just be you and let it all come from the heart;)

Silent Breeze · Dec 31, 2007, 01:09 PM

Not all girls want macho man with the brain of a baby! Do you know what most girls really want? They want someone to listen to them, someone to rely on, someone to hold them when they're scared and greet them when they're happy and to be treated as an equal.
Girls/guys who are still in school have no idea what they want in their spouses.. they hardly know who they are!
Many girls are so afraid to get into a relationship because, as p3nn said before me, the jerks are pretending to be nice guys and girls are falling for them, so when the truly nice guy comes, she's been heartbroken one too many times to let herself take the risk.
So if you're a nice guy, stay that way, the right girl for you is sure to find you and give you a chance. Either way the jerk is bound to lose the girl, but the nice guy will later on surely be discovered.

N0help4u · Dec 31, 2007, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Simple Asian

so as far as pplz saying here....girls dont like guys b.c nice guys dont have confident ....?

so girls end up with a**hole ? jerk ? b.c they have confident to beat you girls....yell at you girls and cheat ? ...

Originally Posted by Simple Asian

as a matter of fact that i post this is just to find out how pplz...think about nice guys overall.....

as every1 saying ...girls like guys who confident ....

but most of girls like ...oh you such a nice guys ....and turn them down ..b.c they think that nice guys dont have confidence .......but how you girls so sure that them bad boys have confidence ?

Where do you see anybody here saying this??

It looks to me like EVERYBODY here is saying be true to who you are and treat a girl decent.

Simple Asian · Dec 31, 2007, 02:58 PM

And this topic is just for pplz to discuss about nice guys... why they get kicking around and no love...

So if I have any misunderstanding.. please forgive me b.c my english I can not really express myself pretty well...

So my oppions so far about NICE GUY are

_The person every girl will compare their would-be boyfriends to, for they possess every trait a woman desires. However, for whatever reason, women avoid them like the plague.

_nice guys always listening.. caring... and always be there for the girls... but never get the girls..

_ NICE guys finished last?.

N0help4u · Dec 31, 2007, 03:07 PM

I see what you are saying a lot, but the truth of the matter is they do not have a quality relationship that lasts in the long run. Many end up living together for a year or two and then the girl gets fed up with the abuse and leaves and keeps in a cycle of repeated abuse. Within ten years a girl that likes 'the bad guy' can go through at least 8 to 12 relationships.
Treat a girl like an equal and show consideration. Maybe hold back a little of your nice guy personality to keep her wondering but D0N'T resort to bad guy cause in the long run quality is better than a vicious cycle that takes you down a path that leads nowhere.

cerisa · Dec 31, 2007, 04:30 PM

"nice guys" guys who are kind, gentle, sweet thoughtful-Those guys are always welcome . The guys who do not last are the ones who are unsure of themselves, don't have opinions they can articulate. Say 'whatever' and go along with things instead of having a plan. Those guys may think they are being 'nice" but actually they are being weak, and weakness is unattractive in men and women.

Simple Asian · Jan 2, 2008, 03:01 AM

And stop being a nice guy.. be a good guy with EDGE...

As a far as I no now that nice guys don't get date nor girls nor anything..

.b.c why ? b.c they are just too insurcure

And when they get the girls they treat the girls likes queens... and that a turn off... so what you have to do now is still be a nice guy but don't be too nice... treat pplz nice and everything.. always be there for them but not every time... just the right time.. and listen to what they say..,.

You are the man to give comand don't ever tell her what she want.. you the one making the choise... and don't treat her like queens.. treat her like other pplz.. still care about her but not over caring.. still love her but not over loving... still be there for her but not all the time .

You have life too... go do your things... and never call her too much and saying like I so love you miss you and I want to see you.. give her space .let her miss you and let her say it .

Simple Asian · Jan 2, 2008, 03:03 AM

And the topic nice guys vs jerks ? We been seeing that hearing it times to times

It not the jerks that good at getting the girls... it the nice guys that don't no how to get the girls... so from now on... atcually we can never blame anyone about it...

Just saying...

brown_eyes_3546 · Jan 2, 2008, 03:23 AM

hey hon. Nice guys don't always finish last but you are right that girls are attracted to confidence. You don't have to be a jerk to be confident and don't think you do. The jerks always act like nice guys to begin with and then they end up hitting you or something stupid like that and a lot of girls get afraid to leave because they were their first or w/e. I promise there is someone out there for you. My boyfriend was a nice guy and I thought he was too good to be true because he went out of his way to make sure I was happy and helped me deal with the things my jerk of an x did to me. It paid off for him because I saw that he was sincere and really did care instead of pretening to. Keep being a nice guy for the girls around you sake!