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Sprinkles · Dec 28, 2007, 04:12 PM

Hey everyone I'm kind of new here but I need advice desperately!

My ex boyfriend and me are friends with the same group of friends but because of work he's living on the other side of the country. We did the long distance relationship but it didn't work out in the end. I still miss him and would love to be with him again but since we broke up he started dating a new girl.

Well all of our friends and us go on an annual new years/ski vacation and with us not being together this year its going to be upsetting if he shows up with his new girlfriend, which I overheard he might be bringing this year. I don't want to be the psycho ex girlfriend but I know I'm going to be jealous of the girl being with him. I , also, don't want to be very nice to her either because I will get upset and/or it shows him that I like approve of her.

What should I do? And if he doesn't bring her and flirts with me, what can I do? I'm suppost to be the GF not the sleazy girl he messes around with!:confused:

tickle · Dec 28, 2007, 05:00 PM

Just be cool because you really don't own him anymore. Why make a scene and disturb this lovely vacation time that you all have. Who knows, you really may like her and if he sees you don't give a darn, he may think highly of you and reconsider.

Just consider it a test and show your good side to everyone, be magnanimous and concede.

simoneaugie · Dec 28, 2007, 05:07 PM

Ah, societal behavioral rules. Or, are they games we play while ignoring who we really are?

The two of you broke up. He can bring his new girlfriend to the ski vacation if he wants. Being nice to her is your choice, but imagine if you were the new girlfriend? Is being an a$$ to her the "knee-jerk" thing to do? Or is it the adult thing to do?

If he shows up without her, and the two of you get personal? That is your choice too. Considering it sleazy is putting an ugly name on a natural human behavior. Again, put yourself in the place of the new girlfriend. Behave like an adult, things are much simpler that way. Although, at the moment, it may feel difficult or downright boring, kind of like telling the truth.

talaniman · Dec 30, 2007, 11:16 AM

What should I do? And if he doesn't bring her and flirts with me, what can I do? I'm suppost to be the GF not the sleazy girl he messes around with!:confused:

Not true, you're the ex g/f. If you can't be socialable don't go.

George_1950 · Dec 30, 2007, 11:38 AM

Based on what you have said, don't go; use your time to invest in new friends, and not beating your head against a brick wall.

lavenderly · Dec 30, 2007, 11:50 AM

Do u secretly enjoy upsetting your ex or being upset by your ex? If you do, I bet u will go for the ski vacation.

Right now... hearing it from u, it is clear that u are not ready to attend the vacation. U are still thinking of what to say, how to act, how to react, how to pretend etc. If you have already gotten over your ex COMPLETELY, u will not be asking so many questions. U will act more like a rational adult and behave like one in which u will treat everyone in the same way.

If u go for it, trouble is ahead. U might look immature trying to stay away from his new gal or trying to treat her nice just to prove that u got over your ex. Or u might even flirt with your ex and make the whole group of friends hate u for doing something that u should not since he has a new gal.

I'd rather be "sick" at home than to be sick of being pretentious in front of others.