Originally Posted by
Why Am I Here
I've been with my boyfriend and father of my child for about 5 1/2 years now. My story is about my bf's father. This man is someone that I would never wish to be with any woman but unfortunately my bf's loving, caring mother is the one that is with him. I wish she would just leave but she doesn't have enough confidence. This man never comes home on the weekends and occasionally comes home on the weekdays. My bf was raised as an only child but between him and I, especially since his dad was never home, we would always joke around about him having brothers and sisters somewhere out there. The sad thing is...this came about to be true about 4 months ago. My bf is 23 and he found out he has two sisters 24 and 22 and also a brother 19. It's unbelieveable but believeable that this can come about because this means that his dead beat dad was screwing around before and after he was married as well as before and after my bf was born.
So with that being said...I'm already so angry with his dad...I know it's not really my problem but I sympathize for his mom which still does not know. But my main issue is trying to be able to adjust to my bf having siblings. He never knew about them but they all knew about him from a very young age and have been extremely excited to meet him so there is alot of pressure on him. At first he didn't want to meet them until his dad told his mom and now he's had a change of heart. It was nice with him being the only child that way there was never anyone to jugde me. I have all sorts of terrible stories that have to do with relationships with in-laws and I don't want that to be me. It's going to be especially hard because even though I am the one that's been in his life longer than these "new" siblings...they are still blood...and blood is always thicker than water. Anyway, just asking for advice to help cope with the situation. There is so much to say but I don't want to bore anyone with more details.
Meeting family you have never met before is always very strange and especially in these circumstances.
My partner had a child in his 1st marriage but his children in his second marriage never found out about this until their mother died and my partner met me. This was mainly because his 1st wife left him before the child was born and did not tell him until he was being asked to support financially.
Your partner is very lucky he has you behind him.
My partner had a lot of problems at first meeting the son the first few times especially as they don't live near and the sons mother had died. It was his son that made the first contact. There was also the loyalty to his family that he has been father to over all their life.
The 2nd family of four have had problems accepting their father has a new partner and now having another son who already has a family of their own. So of course there is the jealousy factor of them not being first with the grandchildren.
There are still conflicting emotions which are still being dealt with and they are still dependent of their father.
Your partner is lucky that the other siblings are looking forward to meeting each other. It won't be easy because at the back of this is his mother, who has been betrayed and your partner feeling guilty about this meeting his siblings behind his mothers back.
No matter what he chooses it will not be easy, take one day at a time and it will be emotional up and down as the joy is there in meeting new people and guilt because of the circumstances.
I find the father a coward for not being straight with his wife, he is probably waiting for the son to do the dirty work for him because he won't have to deal with the initial anger. If I read it right the father was away a lot so maybe the mother inside herself knows what has happened but does not want to confront her fears and admitting this may have happened.