[Namaste]

I am a 35 year old undergrad, studying psychology and spanish. I am an alcoholic in recovery (4 1/2 years sober) and have ADHD. I plan on getting a PhD and becoming a psychologist. I will specialize in work with youth at risk.

Upon transferring to CSU Channel Islands from Santa Barbara City College (in CA), I decided it was time to concentrate on school full time without working. I have been working full time and going to school for many years. With ADHD, I realize that I need to be able to focus on one thing at a time. This has been the right choice, as my first semester toward my BA draws to a close.

I took advantage of school loans, applied for scholarships , and became a client at the Dept Of Rehabilitation. I have never received scholarships, and govt grants are out of reach, even after raising my GPA. I am heavily in debt with past loans and other financial wreckage (from when I was drinking). I have no assets, and owe more than $35,000. And I rent in Santa Barbara! My parents are helpful, but I no longer wish to rely on them financially, as I need to be self-sufficient.

I have plenty to offer any community, even without the degree(s). I have worked with adults and children with disabilities for over 15 years. I left a job I love working with youth at risk as a special ed aide to get qualified to work with teens individually in a counseling capacity.

I searched the web endlessly and have not found a way to contact Oprah, Bill Gates, etc, as an individual. I simply want to write letters asking for help. Can anyone show me how to do this?

Thank you for your help!

Michelle

[Namaste]

I am frustrated. I joined this site to get feedback on questions I have. I am certain there is someone who knows how I could handle finding money from philanthropists..

I understand there are a lot of questions. I would also really love an answer...

Thank you.

Peace and love, Michelle

[Namaste]

I just made my other post reappear by replying. I went into a lot of detail a few months ago, and didn't receive a response.

Anyway... Here is what I have been putting out there as a request. I hope this helps clarify my situation. Thanks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

I have a dream!

I quit my job to go to school full time 4 months ago. I decided that is in my best interest by way of concentrating on my studies, and that has worked out great after one semester. I have ADHD, and really need to focus on one thing at a time. However, I am not getting creative enough with ways to make some cash flow happen.

I have been living on school loans for a few years now, which have added up to around $35,000. I am OK with that now, and consider it an investment. But my GPA is still just below 3.0 ( it's 2.9, in fact), which means I don't qualify for scholarships one more time. This is very frustrating (I have applied every year, and never received any). I live in Santa Barbara, CA, which includes the extremely wealthy or impoverished. I have been the latter for most of my adult life, and would like that to change. I plan on working with youth at risk when I get my degree and become a therapist, as I did when I worked at a high school as a special ed aide. I will probably move out of the area when I get my internship; but for now, I need to make rent, pay bills, and support my wonderful kitties. I am 4 months behind on my rent! My landlady is extremely forgiving and incredibly absent minded, which is in my favor at the moment, but I want to be self supporting. Being late on rent feels really uncomfortable.

I have support from my parents, but this is also getting to be uncomfortable. I am 35 years old, and have been sober for almost 5 years. They bought me a car for commuting to school, and gave me a gas card. On the surface, this sounds very generous. But THEY chose to do this (they even chose the make, model, and color of the car), and I am starting to see that this is a method of controlling me. I need to be an adult and take care of this stuff myself. The underlying message in such permissiveness in parenting is that I cannot handle it on my own. This simply is untrue; but I tend to believe it when I am allowed to get money from them and they get to keep me a child! I am not ready to give up the car and gas card (eventually I will buy the car from them). But I am ready to live my own life, as a grown woman.

I have many skills, and need to be healed from my inability to completely believe in myself enough to make things happen! I am a writer, a natural teacher, and highly intuitive when I take care of my inner child. I have begun to let love begin with me, then flow outward so that I may benefit others. I have worked with children and adults with disabilities for years, I know how to bake and make jewelry, I sing and play guitar, and I do organic gardening! I guess my goal could be renaissance woman, but I am willing to settle for some income, without having to work 9-5, for now. :)

Please help me let go of whatever is stopping me from living my dream!

Thank you so much!

Peace and love to you all...

[Namaste]

Well, now I am confused. I thought that J-9 responded with a question for me. Where did your response go? I also did not post 2 replies to my own original posts... Are you the moderator?

I hope I am clear this time...

[J_9]

Yes, dear, I am one of the moderators, I answered you, then saw that you had other posts. So, my question was moot, and your posts were merged.

[oneguyinohio]

If you don't mind asking other's for money, I heard about a guy in Atlanta who makes $300 a day by panhandling.

Otherwise, you can blame your parents all you want for trying to help you, or you can take steps... such as getting a part time job... so that you will have the confidence that you could make it on your own. If you have to take classes part time while you work, then that might be what you need to do.

It might not be what you want to hear, but quit waiting or hoping for someone to come along and make life easy for you... if you really want something, work toward it because you can't expect that there will be anyone out there to give it to you.

Your disability and past drinking are poor excuses for thinking you can't do it without others giving you money. So what if you have come a long way, and done a lot of hard work... don't stop now that you are on your way, keep on working toward your goals.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, the issue is you need to looking grants and other money, also work programs at the colleges to help with school expense, and as many others do work part time. Just asking others to pay expeneses is really not right if you are not doing fully first everything you can do.

So get in there and help yourself first.

[J_9]

I searched the web endlessly and have not found a way to contact Oprah, Bill Gates, etc, as an individual. I simply want to write letters asking for help.

Remember that they get THOUSANDS of letters per day. They don't even look at the letters themselves, but employ people who do.

You will have to make your stand out in a crowd. Simply saying that you have ADHD and are a sober alcoholic will not do it. You have to show that you are working hard toward your goal.

[Namaste]

For Fr_Chuck...

With all due respect, I have exhausted all of my resources. I wouldn't ask for help if I hadn't tried everything I can. I am not sure if I already mentioned this, but I have applied continuously for grants and scholarships (for several years, even while working) and I've been denied. I didn't ask others to just pay for my expenses, I am asking for help. I am already a client at Dept of Rehab, which is helpful for school. However, I am still working through the financial wreckage of the past (sober almost 5 yrs), along with living in Santa Barbara. Quitting my job was in my best interest, and for others I can help in the future. I am not asking whether I need a job or not. I looked into some very PT work recently, only because my other options apparently are not working out. But I am not going back to working again. That does not work for me. School IS my full time job.

I am not looking for a handout. I am looking for a way up and out. There is a difference between that and just sitting around waiting for the money to come. Trust me, I have been networking like crazy to find a way to do this thing. It is getting more and more difficult for people to only concentrate on school. I believe it is important for everyone to have the opportunity to focus on one thing at a time, so as to do it well. I just need 5 years, and I'll be able to give back, which is my intent and purpose behind asking in the first place.

Please consider that I have explained my situation in depth. If you simply have an opinion about my method, feel free to refrain from commenting. I am using this site for helpful tools I can use, and to pass on help to others. I would appreciate the same courtesy.

The issue is asking for help so that others may benefit. How can I help others when my own house is not in order? So, you're right about getting in there and helping myself first. That is what I am trying to do.

Thank you.

Panhandling is not what I am asking about. I also do not blame my parents for trying to help me. The truth is, however, giving me things is not helping me. But, no, I am not blaming them. I am finally waking up to taking responsibility for my own life. I should have left out the piece about my parents, that is private and not as black and white as it may appear, but since I already revealed that, I may as well respond. I have consistently applied for scholarhips and grants, and keep getting turned down. I am only looking at other options, because my others have run out.

I worked and went to school full time for many years. I am done. Enough of this insanity.

My question is how to ask philanthropists for money, for a good honest cause that will bring help to others. If I could, I would counsel right now. But I have no piece of paper to show that I am qualified to be a therapist. I need the college degrees for that.

These are the steps I am taking. Yes, if I have to, I will temporarily work part time, but the fact is, this will not work for me in grad school. I never asked for anyone to make it easy for me, and it isn't. Like I said to the other person, school IS my full time job, and I take it seriously. I am working hard toward my goals. I just need a llittle help.

My question was originally how to ask philanthropists for funds, not "should I?"

Thank you.

Michelle

If you don't mind asking other's for money, I heard about a guy in Atlanta who makes $300 a day by panhandling.

Otherwise, you can blame your parents all you want for trying to help you, or you can take steps... such as getting a part time job... so that you will have the confidence that you could make it on your own. If you have to take classes part time while you work, then that might be what you need to do.

It might not be what you want to hear, but quit waiting or hoping for someone to come along and make life easy for you... if you really want something, work toward it because you can't expect that there will be anyone out there to give it to you.

Your disability and past drinking are poor excuses for thinking you can't do it without others giving you money. So what if you have come a long way, and done a lot of hard work... don't stop now that you are on your way, keep on working toward your goals.

Remember that they get THOUSANDS of letters per day. They don't even look at the letters themselves, but employ people who do.

You will have to make your stand out in a crowd. Simply saying that you have ADHD and are a sober alcoholic will not do it. You have to show that you are working hard toward your goal.

I understand, and thank you, I will definitely make it stand out. I found a way to email her, but I need to compose a letter carefully first.

Thank you for your feedback. You have been very helpful.

Michelle

[J_9]

Michelle, we are not trying to bash you here, but showing you that there is no free handout. As a student myself, I do understand where you are coming from and I have to work HARD to get the scholarships and grants that I get. My grants will run out in May.

You ask "How can I help others when my own house is not in order?" You have to get your own house in order to help yourself before you can help others. I do know where you are coming from, I am in nursing school, and we have been advised from the get go that working during nursing school will only make school harder. I have my hardest semester starting in January, but guess what? I have to get a job and work... take care of my children... take care of my husband... the household... the bank accounts... the bills... and still find time to study.

Your refusal to work will not get you anywhere with any charity or philanthropist who may be interested, in fact, it will deter them.

I am not looking for a handout. I am looking for a way up and out.

There are work study programs at your school... Tutoring that pays...

Tutor, for a paycheck, students who need some help in courses you have already mastered, etc.

But to say that you need 5 years worth of help and not agree to help yourself during that 5 years, no one is going to give you money.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will have to disagree, quiting work , how is that in your best interest if you can't afford to go to school. Most adult students have to work and go to school,

And while I do hope you succeed, I just don't see your issues near as bad as a 1000 others that may be paralized form the neck down, may be blind, may be in a wheel chair, and so on,

So in the list of who people will just give money to, your issues will not even make the top 100.

Just tyring to be honest

[Namaste]

Working at a job has not been in my best interest, when I am unable to do school work as intended. I can't afford to go to school and fail. That's why I am working on school. I guess others here haven't considered that school is a job. There is always a lot of work to do. I have not stopped working, I have stopped going to a job. Either way, I am earning my keep, so to speak.

I am familiar with all those whose issues far outweigh mine... I have been working with them for over 16 years, and teens at risk for over 4 of those years. And these people you speak of... some of them go to school and do not work. Just because my disability is not severe does not mean it isn't a disability.

Anyway, we don't even really know each other, and often with online communication, the message gets lost in translation. I feel like these forums just get people all fired up, with no solution. I do appreciate the feedback, but I do wonder where my question walked off to. I am already settled with my decision to not work, and wanted info on other options.

I have learned that those options lie within me. I have heard a few good ones from some of you, and tutoring has comed to mind. I just need it to be very part time, or my studies will be affected.

Thanks for the feedback. It's time for me to stop looking outside myself for answers.

Peace to all.

Michelle

I will have to disagree, quiting work , how is that in your best interest if you can't afford to go to school. most adult students have to work and go to school,

and while I do hope you succeed, I jsut don't see your issues near as bad as a 1000 others that may be paralized form the neck down, may be blind, may be in a wheel chair, and so on,

So in the list of who people will just give money to, your issues will not even make the top 100.

Just tyring to be honest

[J_9]

I guess others here haven't considered that school is a job.

Oh, but school IS a job. And one of the hardest you will ever have. I have first-hand experience of that and I graduate in May.

BUT, I have learned that one must prioritize. As I said in another post... work study programs through school, they will not allow more than 20 hours per week, but you get study time while you are working... Tutoring, you get paid to tutor in a subject you have gotten an A or B in. I tutored for 3 years in Anatomy & Physiology, Psychology, Microbiology... and geeze I can't remember what else, oh yeah, English Comp, you get to stay at school, and study between periods.

I am 43, and again, I understand where you are coming from. I am a breast cancer survivor, a nursing student, oh heck, I don't want to go through it all again... BUT I have to set my priorities. Yes, my education comes first right now, and my family understands that, but I have to WORK for what I have. If working means having to go to work and stay up until 3 in the morning to study, then that is what we have to do. I would LOVE to ask for handouts, but I am too proud for that. I get my way on my own and will be more thankful for it in the longrun.

Now, when you go back to school, and fill out your FAFSA, check the box about the federal work study program. The instructors that you work for will be very appreciative and may even help you along the way.

[oneguyinohio]

I too am a graduate student, with a child, and I have had to go to work in order to make a life. I did not have any government agencies helping me pay for schooling. I know all about financial struggles in trying to finish a program. I had my financial aide taken away from me upon finishing a master's degree when I had previously been told that I would get it until I finished Ph.D... guess there were funding source issues or something, so I had the rug pulled out from under me on that one... I was forced to withdraw from the program, and it cost me a year and a half to reenter because of application deadlines... In the meanwhile, I live in a 48 year old house trailer and my home has been burglarized... Many of my neighbors are drug dealers or other types that I would prefer to not live next door... and let me say that your loans are small in comparison to what I owe, but I am making progress slowly toward my goal.

My answer to you was based on my personal beliefs and experiences. I'll wish you well on finding what you are looking for, but be careful not to spend all your efforts on hopes.

[joeannmaillo]

Please help me let go of whatever is stopping me from living my dream!

With all due respect... You are portraying your self to be a spoiled brat at the age of 35. You need to acknowledge the reality of it all. The truth is alcoholism and ADHD are not excuses and you have not exhausted all your resources sweety; you just refuse to see the truth. Again, with all due respect you're being lazy and as soon as you realize that you can let go of whatever it is stopping you from living your dream... Thousands of people around the world pay their own way through college with no financial help from family, rent and other financial responsibilities, taking care of their elderly parents, and children. It's called a job... Yes, it's hard. It's definitely not going to be easy, but nothing worth having in life is. You want this degree bad enough, right? Well, you're going to have to do whatever it takes to make it happen and the reality is that it will take getting a job and being self sufficient.

Quitting my job was in my best interest, and for others I can help in the future. I am not asking whether I need a job or not. I looked into some very PT work recently, only because my other options apparently are not working out. But I am not going back to working again. That does not work for me. School IS my full time job.

You have to be willing to except that the passage above is absolute nonsense and you're in denile. Quitting your job was never in your best interest, because you're complaining about your financial situation as of late. Obviously that's not working baby girl...

I am not looking for a handout. I am looking for a way up and out. There is a difference between that and just sitting around waiting for the money to come.

There again, more denial... It's only holding you back. There's nothing wrong with asking for help (wether financial or otherwise), but you are asking for a handout! Wether it's for a cause as you say or not, it's still a handout. You need to change the manner in which you think, because it will only hold you back and you will constantly struggle with this same issue.

It seems to me that you have seriously lost site of your "dream" and you don't even realize it. I don't say any of this to disrespect you or bring you down. I give you props for overcoming alcoholism; that's truly a wonderful thing and I only tell you this to help. Ultimately you are the only one who can help you, but you have to be willing to except certain truths. I wish you all the best in your journey. Namaste!
Jo

[Namaste]

I no longer need an answer to any of my questions. I've already found my answer, and it isn't here.

I wish all of you who judge a life free of judgement.

There is absolutely no need to respond to this post. Please delete it.

Namaste