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christinewest-stephen · Dec 26, 2005, 06:45 PM

I can not seem to get my 2 year old to give up his sother or to potty train him I am a single mother and very strick is this maby part of the problem or is there a problem or am I just worring :confused: :confused:

Fr_Chuck · Dec 26, 2005, 06:53 PM

I am not sure what a sother is??

On the potty training, kids do it different rates, some almost into late 3's.

Also you did not say if this was a girl or a boy, in some studies I read, it can make difference. Girls potty train faster, boys get busy and won't stop doing what they are doing.

If you take the child and sit them on the pot on some regular basis, it can help. Also look for signs they are getting ready to use it, and try to get them there to sit on it.

^^^^ if the "sother" was suppoe to be bottle, that is an easy one, just stop giving them anymore and they no longer have one.

christinewest-stephen · Dec 26, 2005, 07:47 PM

Thank you for your oppinon a sother is also called a passifier he will not sleep with out it and crys when he wants it:) p.s it is a boy

CaptainForest · Dec 26, 2005, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by christinewest-stephen

thank you for your oppinon a sother is also called a passifier he will not sleep with out it and crys when he wants it:) p.s it is a boy

My brother didn't stop using his passifier until he was 5.5

orange · Dec 26, 2005, 08:27 PM

I wouldn't worry about the soother (a soother is another word for pacifier) or the potty training for that matter. Like Fr Chuck said, boys can be slower to potty train than girls. Two years old is still pretty young for a boy... is he at least partially trained? Sometimes it takes a few months to get them completely trained. The other thing is that different children develop at different rates. Some kids may talk, walk, or be potty trained earlier than others (or later), but it's due to developmental and physical differences between the kids. Maybe your son isn't physically ready to be toilet trained yet.

If a child is using a soother at age 2 or older, they are generally using it for comfort, just like some kids use a security blanket or a teddy bear. I used to have FOUR soothers, one in my mouth, one in my pocket, and carried one in each hand. This went on until I was about 4 and a half. I remember it used to really stress me out when adults tried to take the soothers away or tell me I was "bad" for using them. My mother wasn't very available to me (I went into foster care at age 4 actually) and so I remember feeling calmer when I had the soothers. When the soothers were confiscated, I sucked my thumbs and fingers incessantly.

I don't know if you get Dr. Phil where you live, but he had a show about this, with a kid on it who had a bunch of soothers that he wouldn't part with. The parents were upset about it. Dr. Phil showed everyone a picture of HIS son holding a bunch of soothers! It reminded me of myself, haha. He said that he and his wife discovered that their son really liked music, so they substituted headphones for the soothers. But they didn't do it all at once, like cold turkey. They let their son have the soothers and the music at the same time, and then after a while he got tired of the soothers and gave them up. It was the same thing with me. I got interested in drawing and gave up my soothers and thumb sucking pretty quickly.

So I guess I'm saying that you shouldn't worry too much... your son is still really little. Maybe find some other thing to distract him so he won't want the soother so much, and pay extra attention to him if you think that's what he wants. Good luck!

christinewest-stephen · Dec 26, 2005, 08:49 PM

:) I am peased that ask other about this my family seem to think differently so it is nice to have a strangers opinion :)

orange · Dec 26, 2005, 08:54 PM

If you don't mind me asking, what part of the world are you in? I'm giving you advice from the point of view of a Canadian, but depending on your culture you and your family's views may be quite different. And there's nothing wrong with that. :)

christinewest-stephen · Dec 26, 2005, 08:57 PM

I am from canada so your advice is help full I am a young mother that is why my family tells me how to raise my son instead of just giving advice

orange · Dec 26, 2005, 09:04 PM

Oh you're in Canada too.. cool. So do you live with your parents? How young is young? Please don't answer any questions you don't feel comfortable with. Me, I'm 26 and pregnant right now. Do you have access to a library where you can look up parenting books, or is there a place in your town where you can take parenting classes? All those things are helpful, especially if you are very young.

christinewest-stephen · Dec 26, 2005, 09:06 PM

I'm 21 I had my son at 19 teen no I don't live with my parents but I did at first where do you live in canada and if you don't want to ansore you don't have to I live close to kingston

xxluvmexxhatemexx · Mar 29, 2008, 10:53 PM

Well I think that you need to stop spoiling him and eventually he will start crying but he will get tired of it and just stop

ldyastrid · Mar 31, 2008, 10:51 AM

Here's my experience with my 2 boys (11 years apart) and now I've got custody of my step-grandson...

1st son is now 23 - he was "hooked" to his pacifier/soother - when I tried to take it away from him, his father would go get him a new one - He'd be over the heartache of not having it when his father would come home with a new one for him - he eventually sucked his thumb and didn't stop until he was about 10.

2nd son is now 12 - he had a pacifier till almost 2... it took a weekend (literally... the whole weekend but then it was over) he was SCREAMING for his pacifier - sometimes it felt like he was just never going to stop - but if I gave in and gave it to him, he would then learn if he was more persistent than me, he wins... not cool. He had a blanket that he carried around - no thumb sucking - ever... he still has his blanket - but it's not something he "HAS" to have.

Grandson is now 20 months old. When we got custody of him at 9 months what he craved most was attention - his mother used the pacifier instead of giving him a bottle... and gave him bottles instead of food. He very easily gave up the pacifier - and that was before he was 1 year old.

As far as potty training... both boys were into their 3's before they were trained. There are just some things you can't force to happen - and potty training is one of those things.

Good luck... have patience! =)