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    rtrans56's Avatar
    rtrans56 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 20, 2007, 05:36 PM
    How should I show the guy I'm better?
    I really really like this guy but, he is dating somebody. A lot of people think the are not meant to be with each other and it's not just me. I really want to show him that I'm better, but how? He says he just wants to be friends but, I've seen the signs. Help!:(
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 20, 2007, 06:37 PM
    What signs and how are you better??
    rtrans56's Avatar
    rtrans56 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 21, 2007, 02:22 PM
    Hes doing the usual. Leaning tarwards me, staring at me and then quickly turning away when I look at him, and asking me what I'm doing after school. Also all of my friends and a lot of other people think that she is a brat and she's really mean.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #4

    Dec 21, 2007, 02:47 PM
    Apparently not that mean and not that bratty for him to be with her... unless... he wants to be with a mean and bratty girl. Sometimes, people don't see each others' faults because they're so far in. you have a few choices: wait for it to be done... be a good friend until then. Or move on. Or... this may be a bit dangerous, but you can maybe ask him to hang out. Then maybe you'll see how much "better" you are.
    peggyhill's Avatar
    peggyhill Posts: 907, Reputation: 150
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    #5

    Dec 21, 2007, 02:59 PM
    Be friends for now, and maybe he will break up with this girl and the two of you might have a shot at being together. Don't try to break them up, though, that always ends up being more trouble than it's worth. If she's snotty, maybe he'll dump her soon... But, just be there as a friend and see where it goes. However, don't focus on this guy so much that you miss out on other opportunities to date. Good luck!
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #6

    Dec 21, 2007, 03:18 PM
    You do not go out of your way to show this guy that you "are better" than his current girlfriend. You be yourself and nothing more or nothing less. You do not encourage his attentions beyond a casual friendship. Casual! Keep it simple and don't try messing with his relationship. If you intervene or interfere, that does not make you "any better" than what he has.

    Also, how do you know this girl is what "everyone" says? Are you with those two when they are out on a date? Has he personally confided in you? Or are you just hearing stories from others? Second and third hand and fourth hand knowledge is nothing but gossip. Gossip is cheap - mostly free and not worth any attention.

    Concentrate on your own life, meeting people and enjoying their company. When you take the focus OFF this guy, you just might meet someone who could really care for you, that is not involved with anyone else.
    peggyhill's Avatar
    peggyhill Posts: 907, Reputation: 150
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    #7

    Dec 21, 2007, 03:28 PM
    Oh, and by the way, just because he is dating her doesn't mean she is "better". You are just as special and unique as she is. And, if she's snotty, you probably are better anyway. Don't let his actions affect yourself esteem. If he doesn't like you that way, it doesn't mean you are ugly or anything! Just means that you aren't his type, and that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. So, if he doesn't want to be with you, find someone who does, because I guarantee there are guys out there who would love to be! Good luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Dec 21, 2007, 03:34 PM
    He flirts with you but has a g/f. Playa, playa. Back off and move on. Got to be more guys around. They may never break-up, and waiting is unhealthy.
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