Check out some similar questions!

AndiB · Dec 20, 2007, 10:33 AM

This is been going on for a long time. I had my daughter at a young age 16yr old, and my mother and grandmother have raised her the most of the time, but she knows I am her mother;
Here lately we been at each others throats, she hates me, she's cutting herself, she doesn't want to live with me. I can't say anything to her. There is so much more but, this is the start. It breaks my heart that we've turned out this way, if I could take it all back I would, but I can't. Please if there is answers out there I need help I'm losing my mind.

Clough · Dec 21, 2007, 04:13 AM

Okay. Having a child at a young age is not so uncommon a thing these days. Also, mom and grandmother helping to raise a child is becoming more and more commonplace.

It would be good to know what the "so much more" is. We don't have much to go on here other than you think that she hates you, she's cutting herself, she doesn't want to live with you and there is some kind of breakdown in the communication between you two.

What is and has happened in your life and also between the two of you, that may have lead up to the attitude and behavior by her that you describe? Also, how old is your daughter?

simonehitchings · Dec 21, 2007, 04:50 AM

I have worked with many a teenage girl, this is typical behavior of somebody crying out for attention and typical teenage girl behavior.
Don't think your alone, I've had some horrors real nasty creatures.
Stay strong,
Two simple rules with teenages. They are going to get into drugs, sex, alcohol you can't stop that, we can try but they are still going to do it.
Try not to stress, rule one: just let her know that you want her to phone you to tell you she is not coming home. (She will not tell you where she is, don't ask you know she's at a boys house except and move on). Rule two: this ones more for you, you have to pick her up at night whenever she phones you from where ever at what ever time sorry (that one sucks for you).
She's not going to listen to this but, tell her to make sure he wears a condom more importantly get her onto the deprevira contraception an injection of the pill, you don't want to become a grandma to early.
She will grow out of this wild behavior we all do (sort of).
Don't let her think you approve of this behavior, but don't scare her away.
Just be there to do the two above rules.

Good luck.

Clough · Dec 21, 2007, 05:07 AM

I think that it isn't a good idea to be assuming as far as what is really going on here without having more information from AndiB.

Jackaroo_Trigger · Dec 21, 2007, 01:40 PM

(coming from a teenager) I think that if you want to talk to her you need to find some common ground, tread carefully but not to carefully she nneds to know you're her mum, if that makes sense. We all go through this, not in the same way, some cope with it better then others. You also need to find out what is so wrong in her life, the reason for cutting. It may even be that she wants a better relationship with you, I don't know if I'm right or wrong but I hope My opinion will help you in some way.

missmarple · Dec 21, 2007, 02:17 PM

One other possibility your child could be bulied at school. I kow, it happened to me and similar behavoural symptons were displayed. Hopefully not, but it's very common now. For what it's worth, advise is, be there for her, listen to her, and don't jump to conclusions. Make the opportunity to sit with her and chat . Ask about school (that's if she is at school), even so, bully takes place at work. She might feel she's not popular, ( very common) Anyway, with reassurances from MUM, you'll have a good relationship. Good luck
Plenty out there in the same situation, believe me!!

peggyhill · Dec 21, 2007, 03:12 PM

Take her to see a counselor and a doctor, if you have not already. I'm so sorry you and her are having a difficult time. It is NOT your fault for having her at a young age or anything like that. The cutting thing really worries me.

Do you think that something might have happened to her, like a rape or abusive relationship? Maybe she is bullied, worried about something she feels she can't tell you, or using drugs or alcohol.

See if you can set it up so that she can see a counselor by herself as well as with you. She might feel more comfortable talking about some things without you in the room, like if it's about sex or something. Maybe her doctor or teachers at her school could help you find a counselor. I would take her for a physical too to make sure she is OK. Good luck and I hope things get better soon!