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ajlfire · Dec 16, 2007, 04:20 PM

I need help in getting my new wife to be allowed to watch my kids on my weekend when I am at work. I am a fireman and spend 24 hours on and 48 off. If I am at the firehouse on Saturday on my weekend, which runs from 6 pm on Friday to 8 pm on Sunday, my ex is preventing me from having the kids stay with my new wife. A judge has ruled in her favor, but I am planning to file a motion of reconsideration. Any advice or case law citings would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for any help. p.s. I live in cook county. Chicago , il.I also forgot to mention that there are 3 step kids living with me whom my kids get along great with. They are all within 1 yr of each other and have great times together. Plus my kids love our dog.

ScottGem · Dec 16, 2007, 04:34 PM

Change your weekends to when you you won't be working. The purpose of visitation is for the parent to spend time with the kids. If you can't be there, then schedule the visitation to when you can.

stonewilder · Dec 16, 2007, 04:36 PM

Why would you want the kids to stay at your house if you're not going to be there anyway? I mean the idea of visitation is so the kids can spend time with you not your new wife.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 16, 2007, 04:38 PM

Sounds like a bad rulling on the judges part, but that happens, you need to get visits modified to be a rotating schedule to fit your schedule.

ScottGem · Dec 16, 2007, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

sounds like a bad rulling on the judges part,

I disagree, it's a very reasonable ruling In my opinion. However, what the judge should have done is order a modification in the visitation.

shygrneyzs · Dec 16, 2007, 05:38 PM

Your biggest drawback is that your weekend on (work) is the same as your weekend for your children's visitation. If I was the ex wife, I would refuse this too. Your children have no way to see you, so why allow them to come over? Does not matter that all the children get along and they all love the dog. A Judge would not see your request as reasonable.

Either change your weekend to work or change your visitation weekend.

ajlfire · Dec 16, 2007, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by ajlfire

i need help in getting my new wife to be allowed to watch my kids on my weekend when i am at work. i am a fireman and spend 24 hours on and 48 off. if i am at the firehouse on saturday on my weekend, which runs from 6 pm on friday to 8 pm on sunday, my ex is preventing me from having the kids stay with my new wife. a judge has ruled in her favor, but i am planning to file a motion of reconsideration. any advice or case law citings would be greatly appreciated. thank you in advance for any help. p.s. i live in cook county. chicago , il.i also forgot to mention that there are 3 step kids living with me whom my kids get along great with. they are all within 1 yr of each other and have great times together. plus my kids love our dog.

I can't believe that so few people have any sympathy for my situation. My work schedule can't be changed. Its one day on and2 days off, that's it. They, my kids, love my wife and their step sisters. Seems to me that its in their best interest to foster a loving blended family relationship. I do towards my ex and her step kids. Seems to me that this is in the best interest of the kids emotional well being

ajlfire · Dec 16, 2007, 09:27 PM

I Can't Believe That So Few People Have Any Sympathy For My Situation. My Work Schedule Can't Be Changed. Its One Day On And2 Days Off, That's It. They, My Kids, Love My Wife And Their Step Sisters. Seems To Me That Its In Their Best Interest To Foster A Loving Blended Family Relationship. I Do Towards My Ex And Her Step Kids. Seems To Me That This Is In The Best Interest Of The Kids Emotional Well Being. Thanks To The One Soul Who Felt For My Situation.

oneguyinohio · Dec 16, 2007, 09:38 PM

I agree with you. I think it was a bad decision. When the kids are in your care, you should be able to have them cared for by anyone you wish. If that is a stepmother, then tough for the exwife.

There is no reason to believe that the kids would be harmed by this arrangement at all. I bet the mother is able to have other people provide childcare during the time that she has the children in her care.

You might need to get a lawyer and take this back to court requesting the modified visitation. It seems like a pain, but you might be able to change it so that you get visitation based on your days off... that arrangement might be a problem depending how far away you live, but if it works, and you get to spend more time with the kids, the ex might decide that it is better if you do it the original way.

If it were me, there would be a lot of legal fees for the ex in fighting to get my children to be able to visit me, or my house-hold and be with my new family. If she gets tired of the costs, she might be more agreeable or more resigned to acceptance/

How often does this work shift interfere with the weekends? 1 or 2 times a month? Does that always fall on your visitation weekends?

Get a lawyer, and don't just go into court alone, if you have in the past.

ScottGem · Dec 17, 2007, 06:51 AM

No one is saying to change your work schedule. But your schedule is a known commodity so what can't you change the visitation schedule to accommodate it? That's why you have received so little sympathy, In my opinion.

Whatever the relationship between your new wife and your kids (and their step siblings), the purpose of visitation is to spend time with YOU, not them. If you want to share your time with them with your new family that's up to you.

ScottGem · Dec 17, 2007, 07:49 AM

Comments on this postajlfire disagrees: IT TAKES NO ACCOUNT FOR MY KIS FEELINGS

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

The facts of the matter here at that a judge ruled that visitation was time for you to be with your kids. On the face of it it's a reasonable ruling. That is my OPINION and while you are entitled to disagree, the answer was accurate. So your rating was inapprorpriate.

What really bugs me here is that situation is simple. Just modifiy the visitation to fit into your work schedule. Yet you keep ignoring this simple solution.