[jrebel7]

Adirup, I want to encourage you to take pride in yourself, in being Indian. I have read the posts and am understanding why you would type what you did. You sound like you have a lot of desire to make a better life for yourself, that you have a lot of respect for those trying to better themselves. That is admirable. The field you are studying will greatly improve your opportunity for sure. My son programs in Java and it has provided many opportunities.

I know that unless you live in a country, you cannot really identify with those who do totally but one thing to remember is that people are the same everywhere to a degree. Customs, manners, culture, all come into play. But we all deal with some type of problems, it is part of life.

It sounds like you are desiring a lot of order and structure in your life. Travel may be the best option for you at some point to see if you can find what you are searching for.

After traveling, you may come full circle and find that you have more love for your India than you realize right now. When I read your posts, I almost felt I could not breath. I tend to empathize greatly with people. So, although I do not live in India, I have a heart for what you write. I know that does not help you but just wanted you to know we are listening and really trying to hear what you are saying and how you are feeling.

Time will give you your answers. While I have had good experiences with policeman helping, I have also had horrible ones. We had death threats on our two children and was lied to and our evidence lost out of the police evidence room and the Chief of Police said, "We lost your evidence, so sue us!" Thankfully, the Lord protected my children even though our house was set on fire, our daughters car was burned in our drive way, and phone calls saying this man would blow our oldest child's head off soon, soon, soon. Makes my stomach sick to even write about this but am doing so to let you know, there are problems everywhere. Good and bad co-exist everywhere you go. That was years ago, the man was never brought to justice although the police knew who he was, he had friends in high places, a brother in politics, etc. I have also had experiences where the police really cared about things going on and were proud of their job and did it well.

Since you are where you are right now and doing your studies, try to look for the good, try to concentrate on the positive things of your India, the beauty of the culture, even though the area you speak of does not sound so beautiful. Hollywood glamorizes everything. That is why most people, including myself, have the wrong impressions of countries, people, what is important in life, what our goals should be. Look deep into your heart everyday, love your family, study hard, be open to opportunities that come your way, but be proud of who you are and of your country. We can dislike a lot about where we live or who we have to be around at times, I am not saying you should not voice these things. It is healthy to do so and that is one reason this site is so needed and special. I just don't want you to feel discouraged. I will continue to view this thread from time to time and hope in future, we see good things coming to your life that will make you happy and content. If that means settling in another country, then that is fine also. I would not be one to say stay if you are discontent. I was once told by a pastor friend, "You won't have the freedom to leave until you have the freedom to stay." I think he was saying to make choices for the right reasons, not just because I was unhappy with a few things because there are trials and struggles everywhere. Best to you!

[oneguyinohio]

- india has been very rude to me -it has truly hurt my spirits,my morality- Im so ashamed - .........ah -I feel so ashamed -now Im really feeling shameful and helpless-

Problems exist everywhere. You can find all of those bad situations in any country although perhaps in different degrees. Many countries simply ignore it and pretend it isn't there. Others just accept it as normal and don't try to change anything.

The facts are that everything you know and do is a result of your country and the culture there. You have developed some pretty negative feelings for your culture as a result of situations that you do not like.

It seems like you are finding fault with your country for something that is wrong, rather than focusing on what personal steps you could take to make things better so that you would not feel so helpless... you have some control of your own, and not everything is the fault of your country... India didn't single you out to hurt you after all.

You can blame things on your country, run away and hide believing that it is all out of your control, or you can take some pride in who you are, and try to do something with what you have gotten so far from your country... you have some responsibility if you choose to use it. You are in control of what you choose to do.

You might find some great inspiration from a few people who did not just throw up their hands and leave when they didn't like what they saw in your country... Gandhi and Mother Theresa... now don't be ashamed, but do something!

[N0help4u]

America isn't much better in many ways.
I have heard the Philipians are really beautiful and easy going like America in the 1950's.
I heard Costa Rica and the Caribbean islands are nice too.
While you are staying with your parents save up money and travel and see where you like most.

[MasuBhat]

Every countr you go there are always the negative sides./.so don't be shame to be and indian...
Maybe you feel that way because you'v been in india for too long?. that happens you'd want to try out new things when your done with the old ones.

Even I'm nepali and idon't much like my own country.. but I'm still nepali and no one can change that... I'm what I am, I have to accept it... and even if I do hate my own country.. it still is my hometown.


Indian is not yet fully developed country (from my side).. but much developd from nepal for sure//and aniway there are much worse country than india and nepal
e.g Pakistan//! [ I'm sorry if I'm offencing them]

[mbinae]

Don't be ashamed of being an Indian, Indians are one of the good looking nationalities in the world!

[MasuBhat]

Lol

[msk]

I am not a psychological expert, but I would like to advise one thing. If you go to any part of the world you will be recognised as Indian. Secondly there is no human on the earth who is free from any problems. From early childhood-in school, your job-you will find friends and foes, after marriage- your in-laws and so on. I am an Indian and working abroad and I find things and problems more or less similar to that in India. This is part of life. Only thing you have to do is build up your own character in a unnique way so that people should admire and follow you and not vice versa. This is my personal experience. To tell you Indians are most respected people in Gulf in terms of honesty, hard work sincerety etc.

[anonyous]

Mother teresa is not indian - she's I believe albanian -

[anonyous]

You can't live your life on the internet.Visiting blogs /having discussions ,posting threads forums , seems good only for a while - beyond a certain limit it kind of gets out of control & slightly intolerable - - AHMD is quite good that way -- But I don't know I can't really asscosciate with virtual strangers -if I have genuine problems I figure them out myself & that's it!!

[oneguyinohio]

Mother teresa is not indian - shes I believe albanian -

I never said where she was born, only that she did not walk away from problems in India. In fact, she made a choice to be there. You might want to read the link below.

Mother Teresa

[dontknownuthin]

No point in shame for part of what you are. India has a beautiful culture, a thirst for education, spectacular artistry and intelligence. It also has a problem with overpopulation, and needs to abandone a caste system in rural areas that should have been abandoned centuries ago. But alas, no country and no country's people have reached anything close to perfection.

Get an education, treat your family well and have a mind of your own. I know from Indian friends that sometimes, family try to keep them from growing up and having a personal point of view because they are afraid their adult children will abaondon the old ways and, well, abandon them!

In America we have a saying, "Don't throw the baby out wiht the bath water". In old days, when people had to manually fill the bathtub they would all bathe in the same water - oldest to youngest and the baby, of course was last. Then the water was thrown out. The point of this saying is not to throw away the good with the bad. Don't be shamed of your country, just work to change the parts that are unacceptable, and to celebrate the parts that are beautiful. Start with being the kind of person you can respect.

[jrebel7]

You can't live your life on the internet.Visiting blogs /having discussions ,posting threads forums , seems good only for a while - beyond a certain limit it kind of gets out of control & slightly intolerable - - AHMD is quite good that way -- But I dont know I can't really asscosciate with virtual strangers -if I have genuine problems I figure them out myself & thats it!!!!

I would be interested to know why you are on AHMD. From your statement here, you have no real use for it and you seem to be implying that genuine problems cannot be addressed by way of posting on a site such as this. Many times, people just need a venue to vent their feelings and by writing them down and getting a bit of positive feedback from others, are then able to work through their feelings, frustrations, etc. It seems to give some perspective. The people I have met on this site, although are, as you say "virtual", since I have never met them in person, have given me much more friendship and support than a lot of people I have in my "real" life. It is up to each individual of course to eventually figure things out for themselves but if posting on a site such as this, helps them to see things in a different light, gives them hope, gives them other view points to ponder, whether "virtual" or not, it is a good and positive thing.

Perhaps I have misunderstood your post. It reads to me as if you are saying AHMD is quite good at being "out of control and slightly intolerable". Forgive me if I have misunderstood. I would however, still enjoy reading your reason for being on AHMD and has it been a help to you or intolerable? Misunderstanding posts is one of the things that can happen when one is not face to face speaking but misunderstandings happen even when people are talking face to face in person. Both are great ways to communicate and here, we can always explain or share or ask what was meant by a certain post and that is also to me, a good and positive thing. :)

[greatodie]

Adi,

U can change the place or to the parents you were born to.

But definitely you can change something around you to make things more meaningful and pleasant!

[greatodie]

Adi,

U can't change the place or to the parents you were born to.

But definitely you can change something around you to make things more meaningful and pleasant!