[max2]

We were married for 30 Years. He was messing around and I kicked him out. He left with the other woman and has been gone for 5 years. He always comes back wants to have sex. Tells me he loves me. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want a divorce. He said everything he has were he is, is mine when he passes away. I don't know what's going on...

[nymphetamine]

Im guessing that things are not going to smoothly in his other relationship. He has turned to someone he is comfortable with which after 30 years would be you. Now when He says he doesn't want a divorce does that mean you two are still married or is he married to the other woman now? I sure hope you aren't sleeping with him.

[orange]

I agree with crankiebabie. Sounds like he's comfortable with you and wants to "have his cake and eat it too" as the saying goes. I know it must be hard, but I wouldn't put up with it if I were you. Talk to him and give him an ultimatum. Make him decide what he's going to do. He can't have both of you. It's not fair to you, you'll just end up feeling confused and hurt.

[Fr_Chuck]

That is what I would like to know,

Why you have not filed for divorce already.

And I hope to God you are not allowing this bum back into the house and most certainly not having sex with him when he happens to come around.
Normally this is a trent I have seen in certain race and income groups.
The man normally comes around for sex when he has been kicked out of his girlfriend house, stays a little bit, then is back with old girlfriend or new one in short time.

What is going on,

Get an attorney, file for divorce, change the locks, change the phone number and don't talk to the bum when he comes back and move on with your life.

[fredg]

Hi,
I do fully agree with Fr Chuck.
You need a lawyer, have Separation Papers drawn up, then file for divorce.
Your husband says all he has will be yours if he passes away... do you believe that?
I am sorry to read this, because 30 yrs is a long time. My wife and I have 28 yrs now, and I have no intentions of ever leaving her, or she, me.
I do sincerely hope that you will get a lawyer. Ask around where you live, and get one that has experience with divorce. Just because your husband tells you everything will be yours, doesn't mean it's going to happen. It does sound like he will tell you anything, just to get back into your house, and get you into bed.
Please "wake up"; all you smell are not roses. I do wish you the best, and please get a lawyer before it's too late. In that way, you will be entitled to at least half of everything he owns. If you don't get a lawyer, you might not even have the house you are living in!

[bizygurl]

I really think you shouldn't give this guy another chance. He left you for another woman and then five years later comes back and wants to be with you? That's seriously messed up. If it was a situation where he had just left you and a month later realized the mistake he made, I could see you "possibly" givig him another shot. But when someone leaves there partner after 30 years or so for someone else only to return 5 years later just tells me that he got tired of that girl and decided to come to you. Im assuming that within these five years you have moved on with your life. Keep it that way, no matter how hard it is. Because if you take him back he probably will get bored at some point and do it all over again. It maked me question his motives. Hope everything works out for you.