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VADawg · Aug 26, 2007, 08:09 PM

My parents are telling me to respond back and ask what's going on. Part of me wants to. But I don't know.

kt1205 · Aug 26, 2007, 08:11 PM

Is she showing any signs of interest in other people?

kt1205 · Aug 26, 2007, 08:11 PM

And does she do this a lot?

GlindaofOz · Aug 26, 2007, 08:14 PM

I don't think you are going to get anywhere with her to be completely honest.

I have a feeling that even if you called her or showed up at her house or whatever she still would not want to talk or give you an honest answer.

I think you need to just wash your hands of this whole situation. This girl changed and just decided to be insanely disrespectful and insanely immature. Tell your parents that you agree but you know that you are going to get nowhere with her because of how she is acting.

VADawg · Aug 26, 2007, 08:20 PM

It's just such a weird turnaround. I've known her for almost a year now and she was probably my best friend in that time. This past week, she's changed so much. I've never seen her act this way before. That's basically all I'd want to tell her in the e-mail I'd send back.

GlindaofOz · Aug 26, 2007, 08:26 PM

I just don't think you are going to get anywhere and I don't think it is worth you expending the energy on. You are not going to get the closure you want from her. Its not going to happen. You need to resign to the fact that something has probably been going on with her for a while and its just coming out now in the most f'ed up way possible. Something has caused her to do this insane change and sadly you may never know why. My guess is that it 100% has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with her.

VADawg · Aug 27, 2007, 05:37 AM

I sent her another message... I'm sorry but I just had to do it. Basically saying that she's hurting me and making me feel like **** and I don't know why.

Then I saw her on campus with her aunt this morning. Oh lord that was awkward. She said hi so I said hi back, but it was just weird. She hasn't read the message yet.

GlindaofOz · Aug 27, 2007, 05:39 AM

Okay NO MORE MESSAGES.

VADawg you are not going to get closure from her. You are not going to get anywhere with this. You are just going to drive yourself nuts trying to get some closure out of her. You need to find your own closure and just move on and start to heal.

VADawg · Aug 27, 2007, 05:45 AM

Don't worry... I'm done.

*edited out my message because I don't want her to find it in the future*

I just needed to get it off my chest. But I promise, that's the last one.

GlindaofOz · Aug 27, 2007, 05:48 AM

Good. I wouldn't expect a reply but I guess at least you've said your piece. I'm guessing school is starting so at least you will be busy and will have less time to focus on what just happened.

VADawg · Aug 27, 2007, 05:50 AM

Yeah... but I'm probably going to bump into her everyday. We have classes in the same building at the same time. I guess I'll just be civil and say hi but it's going to be tough.

VADawg · Aug 27, 2007, 07:40 AM

I can't recall the message but I kind of want to now when I think about it. It was mostly just a knee jerk reaction on my part. Damn, I wish I could take it back.

VADawg · Aug 28, 2007, 08:52 AM

She sent this back today:

**edited out message for my privacy**

Lol whatever... she's just avoiding what I really want to hear.

All my buddies are telling me to respond with crap like:

The jerk route:

You didn't hurt me at all, go live it up, because I am doing the same. In case you haven't noticed, there are tons of women here, I think I'll be all right.

Or

I'm not really hurt, there really is nothing wrong with me.

They're saying if I don't respond, it'll make it look like I am too hurt/angry to respond.

talaniman · Aug 28, 2007, 02:33 PM

You are hurt, and this last messages begs no response. I think Vdawg, that you could solve your problems by letting this whole thing go, and finally moving on with your life, and leaving your friends advice of a response behind also. Its time to put the hurt and confusion, behind you and look forward.

Clough · Aug 30, 2007, 01:15 AM

mckenzie134 disagrees: Sometimes people who hve beentogether for a while and don't live together like to say goodnight on the phone. Nothing unhealthy about loving someone.

I would appreciate it if you didn't rate someone unless they are totally incorrect. When it is a matter of opinion, especially about relationships, then the answer that someone gives is subjective. Most of us who have been on this site awhile only rate people if they are totally off base or inappropriate in their answers. Even then, we will agree in the rating an let a poster know in a rating about how we really feel. I hate the rating system.

benn11 · Aug 30, 2007, 01:54 AM

Why do you want to call your girlfriend everyday? All I can say is that in life there is no code or book written to what you should or not do when it comes to relationships. You can tell your girlfriend that you busy and she should accommodate you and your schedule in her life and if she can't do that, then she really doesn't like you for you!

IntroducingEmy · Aug 30, 2007, 02:07 AM

I think I'd go a little nutsy if my beau called everyday. We live pretty far apart while I finish school so I usually drop him a note or email every few days just to let him know I'm fine. At least using email or text messaging it's more on your terms and doesn't require instantaneous feedback. You can just say you were away from your computer, cell phone, etc. (which I'm assuming you are with your schedule) without causing any hurt feelings.

mckenzie134 · Aug 30, 2007, 02:23 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

I would appreciate it if you didn't rate someone unless they are totally incorrect. When it is a matter of opinion, especially about relationships, then the answer that someone gives is subjective. Most of us who have been on this site awhile only rate people if they are totally off base or inappropriate in their answers. Even then, we will agree in the rating an let a poster know in a rating about how we really feel. I hate the rating system.

It doesn't saying weather it was correct or incorect I just said I don't agree with your advice.

Some people like a phone cal to each other at night..

talaniman · Sep 2, 2007, 04:51 PM

In a healthy relationship, its not nessesary to call everyday. All couples set their own rules.

VADawg · Sep 10, 2007, 04:59 PM

Following up on this:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-122328.html

That was probably the most messed up break up I've ever gone through. She never called and just completely ignored me. Then after saying she wanted to be friends, she just blew me off and wrote me off as a friend. The last couple days I've noticed she's checked my myspace page often (I have a tracker). I have done my best to just forget about her.

Then last night I was talking to her cousin (who my ex lives with) online. I've always been close with her cousin in a brother and sister type way. Apparently she heard about this whole situation and wanted to set some things straight. She told me that my ex's aunt was angry at all the time she spent with me and thought it would be better if she just focused on her school work and home life over me. So, instead of just making it a clean break, her aunt wanted her to wait a few days to make it seem like she blew me off to make me pissed off. Then when her aunt called me that one day, it was because my ex didn't want to break up so her aunt just did it for her.

My ex and her aunt always had a very odd relationship. They spent way too much time together as it is... but this is just so odd. My ex tried calling me a couple times last week but I never picked up. Now she's checking my myspace almost daily. Could this actually be possible? Could her aunt REALLY be this immature enough to do this? Has anyone ever heard of this before?

It's just so odd and messed up that her aunt would do that to her if true.