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VADawg · Apr 15, 2007, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

She wants you to break no contact. Unless you have healed enough to deal with an ex as a friend don't do it.

Well I did call her and I actually feel better now. I never thought I'd get to this point but it kind of gives me more closure. Hopefully this isn't some game she's playing because I won't let her win.

VADawg · Apr 16, 2007, 01:23 PM

My thread posted a couple days ago was about her getting back in contact with me after about 1.5 months of no contact. Today I was talking to her cousin and apparently she wants to get back together with me. My ex left a message about 15 minutes ago for me to call her when I get it. I keep saying that I don't want her back and at this point I'm not sure I do, but it's going to be so hard saying it to her. I still really like her a lot but I don't want to get hurt again. Would it be wrong to say I need more time to think about it? Because right now my mind is racing all over.

hair2007 · Apr 16, 2007, 03:40 PM

I would not call her right away, that kind of says it all. But when you do conect with her tell her you have moved on and are still soul searching yourself. But sound happy, make it quik, like yr heading out the door and just say can I get back to you soon, let her feel like you did for a while. Don't mean to make it sound like a game, I really don't, but you need to feel on top for once. Trust me she will be there and if she's not it wasn't meant to be. Continue to get better before you make ANY decisions... gd luck ( ;

JoeCanada76 · Apr 16, 2007, 04:29 PM

Take your time and no it is not wrong. If your not sure about things right now then you need your space and your ex needs to respect that.

Joe

talaniman · Apr 16, 2007, 05:10 PM

Only you know when your ready. Be honest with yourslf, and with everyone else. You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want. If you want more time, take it.

VADawg · Apr 16, 2007, 08:40 PM

Here's what happened... So the entire day I avoided calling and she eventually called me in the evening at around 6. Well, we didn't get off the phone until 11. 5 hours of us just talking about stuff, laughing, telling jokes, talking about life, her talking about pleasuring herself (yeah, it was a really off the wall conversation), etc. The entire time we were together in a relationship our conversations never lasted this long or were that good. She told me that she feels she can tell me anything and feels so comfortable talking to me. She even told me about guys hitting on her and her friend trying to hook her up with guys, and I just took it in stride and felt fine with it. In the past, this would have devastated me. When she was getting off she kept on telling me that she wished we could talk all night. Then she invited me over tomorrow to hang out.

The phone call was confusing, because we went back and forth for so long, but it made me feel great for some reason. We were never this open with each other during our relationship. I really feel so comfortable with her now and I've never felt this way about a girl before. While just a couple days ago I was in no contact and I thought I'd never speak to her again or even consider a future relationship. She didn't mention getting back together at all but I think she hinted at it a few times. What should I make of this?

Skell · Apr 16, 2007, 09:08 PM

Wow, for someone who wasn't to sure if he wanted to talk to her to someone who has just had a 5 hour telephone conversation. You sure do sound confused. Im a little confused too!

VADawg · Apr 16, 2007, 09:18 PM

Originally Posted by Skell

Wow, for someone who wasnt to sure if he wanted to talk to her to someone who has just had a 5 hour telephone conversation. You sure do sound confused. Im a little confused too!

I know. It really is crazy isn't it?

I went into the conversation wanting to get off as quick as possible and then suddenly I just got more and more comfortable talking to her. The 5 hours flew by so fast too. I honestly could've talked to her all night.

I just don't know what this means now.

RickB · Apr 17, 2007, 04:56 AM

I've been where you were before least when it comes to the phone conversation. I felt the same way and wasn't sure if I should take the girl back. If u want her back take it slow. Let her call you first let her chase u. but don't act like your avoiding her, be nice and be yourself. Eventually you will work up to hanging out a little but when you see her don't just fall back in love so fast. If u think its not going to work then let her go. Hope my advice helps and good luck. If anyone thinks I'm wrong just correct me.

talaniman · Apr 17, 2007, 05:12 AM

I just don't know what this means now.

It means you have a choice to make and I would advise you, given your history of moving to fast, to go slow and keep talking, amd see if this is friends zone or a relationship. You both care, you've had a break, go very slow, and see if you two are ready this time. Don't be so quick to lose your heart, or give up the life that's yours, to smother each other. She may want to just be your friend, so your choice is can you live with that? Is that what you want? Go slow and put a lot of thought into this, and when your sure of what you want, then you can work a plan to get it. There is no hurry my friend so don't stop living your life without her.

CandyLight · Apr 17, 2007, 05:51 AM

Its up to you not us only you know when you are ready to call her

VADawg · Apr 17, 2007, 07:13 AM

Yeah... I'm definitely going to take it slow this time. I don't want to rush into anything and become too attached again. Hopefully when I go over her house tonight she doesn't try to make a move on me or anything, because I'm not ready yet. I'm perfectly fine with being her friend right now.

VADawg · Apr 18, 2007, 07:41 AM

So I went over the ex's house yesterday night after talking to her on the phone the night before for the first time in 2 months. I was doing no contact and she contacted me. Anyway... it brought back a lot of memories and we had fun. She showed me her senior pictures she got taken and there was even a picture of me, her, and her dad up in the living room. Then we had dinner and she kept inching closer to me and said "Maybe I can sit on your lap!" and made jokes about us making out and everything... lol. But anyway, we hugged a lot and said we missed each other, and things were going good. Then her grandma called and told me how much she missed me.

Eventually she got sick from the dinner we had and I could tell she was really not feeling good. I eventually left early because she said she wouldn't be good company because of the mood she was in. She said I could come over again when we both have off. She said she'd call me later after her nap but she never did. I'm assuming she just slept the whole night because normally she always calls when she says she will.

But anyway... other than that, the day went well. It felt like old times again without the kissing and the actual boyfriend tag. I'm wondering if she wants to get back together and is just waiting for the right time to say it. I'm fine with being her friend right now though. I'm not trying to rush into anything myself, so it's okay. Just spending time with her is great.

I've just been told by people in her family (that I am friends with) that she wants to get back together, so I'm wondering when/if she's going to say it.

talaniman · Apr 18, 2007, 09:08 AM

You know how females are they love to keep us waiting and guessing. So before you jump out of your skin, be patient. Do other things for now than just focusing on this one friendship.

VADawg · Apr 18, 2007, 12:58 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You know how females are they love to keep us waiting and guessing. So before you jump out of your skin, be patient. Do other things for now than just focusing on this one friendship.

Yeah, definitely. I'll try my best.

Also, do you think I should just keep letting her call me and not call her?

talaniman · Apr 18, 2007, 02:54 PM

Until you make up your mind as to what you want I would be reluctant to tell you to keep trying for a relationship since I don't know really how either of you feels. You have to be very honest and know whether you have expectations of more than friends. Maybe that's all she wants . Forget what the grapevine says as they know nothing. One step at a time, see what happens in a week.

VADawg · Apr 20, 2007, 11:39 PM

She hasn't called for 3 days but I'm assuming it's because of her work schedule. Think I should give her a call tomorrow or Sunday? I just feel like she's waiting for me to initiate contact because she called me a bunch of times on the previous days.

VADawg · Apr 21, 2007, 06:14 PM

To update this...

I went to my sister's baseball game today and she was there. I went over and sat next to her and we talked for a little bit. Her grandma was also there and she hugged me and said how much she missed me. There wasn't much talk because we were paying attention to the game. Then later that night she called and we talked. She told me how much her work schedule and school is taking up her time and she meant to call me but never had the time because of how late she worked. She talked about her graduation that is coming up and how she can only get 8 tickets for some reason, and how 7 of her family members will get one and she wants me to have the last one. We just sort of got into another deep conversation again and how she can trust me and tell me anything without worrying of me judging her. When I say this, I mean she tells me everything. She got on the topic of how she wants me to come with her when she gets her tongue pierced and how horny she is all the time because she hasn't had sex for a long time... lol... but anyway... she eventually said that I'm her best friend and she doesn't know what she'd do without me. She has told me things that some of her family members and best girl friends don't even know. It made me feel good that she looks at me so highly, because I really like just being there for people. Anyway... from the conversation I got the feeling that she wants to come back to me eventually. She is not going with other guys because she still ultimately wants me, but she can't be there fully for me right now so she doesn't want to rush into anything. She didn't say this directly, but I got the feeling because she told me about guys flirting with her or asking her out and having no interest at all. Or how one of her girl friends tried to hook her up with a guy, and she turned it down immediately.

So, that's the latest. Any opinions?

chippers · Apr 21, 2007, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by VADawg

My thread posted a couple days ago was about her getting back in contact with me after about 1.5 months of no contact. Today I was talking to her cousin and apparently she wants to get back together with me. My ex left a message about 15 minutes ago for me to call her when I get it. I keep saying that I don't want her back and at this point I'm not sure I do, but it's going to be so hard saying it to her. I still really like her a lot but I don't want to get hurt again. Would it be wrong to say I need more time to think about it? Because right now my mind is racing all over.

Stick to your guns. Being in limbo with your own feelings is not the right time to get back in to a relationship where you were hurt before. Don't say anything to her that would encourage her to keep calling. You need time to clear your head and heal.

cutiex1986 · Apr 21, 2007, 06:21 PM

Talk to her when you are ready! Take your time and don't be afraid to speak your mind! If she hurt you the first place do you think she won't do it again? Let her wait for you and stop thinking if you will hurt her when you tell her how you feel. She didn't care about hurting you. The decision is yours!