[capricornbaby]

I am 26 years old and 7 weeks pregnant by my married boyfriend of 2 years. When he found out he completely freaked and told me to get rid of the baby. He also said that I am selfish and only think about myself and I would have to be mad to want to keep this child. He told me that if his wife found out that she would take everything from him and he would hate this child. I told him that he could walk away because I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant and I would do this on my own but he keeps saying no. Why should I have give to up something this important to me cause he can't or won't walk away. He has already proven that he doesn't care. His most recent accusation is that one of his friends told him that I am seeing someone else. I mean come on, I am so sick lately and hardly have enough strength to get through my daily routine where would I fit another guy. I guess he is probably preparing himself to disown my baby.

[charlotte234s]

He's selfish and only thinking of himself, don't get rid of your baby if you don't want to. I am extremely pro-choice, so I'm not just saying that because I'm a zealot, I mean it, MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICE. Just because he's acheating scum and doesn't want to pay, have his wife know, mess up his little life, whatever, doesn't mean you should have to do something you don't want to.

If he doesn't care, then fine ruin his little life, it's his fault anyway, get child support and PLEASE make sure his wife knowswhat kind of man he is. Even if he does hate the child, at least the child will have ONE parent who cares about it.

Gosh, some men make me so angry.

[macksmom]

Don't let him try to place blame on the baby. His wife (hopefully) would have left him once she found out he was cheating on her the past 2 years. A baby just makes the affair harder to hide. So baby or not, the wife would have left if she has any sense.

And sadly I think you should have the same sense and leave him. He has been able to carry on an affair for 2 years while being married. He seems pretty upset that his marriage might end, so that should show you he had no intention of ever leaving his wife and being with only you. If he truly wanted to leave his marriage, he would have. Only cowards have affairs.

If you want this baby, keep it. Don't let him push you to consider otherwise. He is only looking out for himself.

[OlivesNCream]

By no means should you 'get rid' of the baby! As the poster above stated, he's just looking to cover his tracks, and there's no reason that you *shouldn't* keep the child. It's not the baby's fault that it is placed under these circumstances.

He cannot say 'no' to you, by any means. YOU are the mother and carrier of the baby and therefore it is YOUR choice as to whether you decide to keep it or not. [I will say now, my feelings on abortion are STRONGLY against the idea--- except for in dire cases where the mother's life is highly at risk during pregnancy, rape cases on young girls... stuff like that... ]

A little TRUE story for you-- about myself:

My mother was dating a man six years older than she was and he got her pregnant--- that child was me. He had CONVINCED her to have an abortion, because if she didn't, he would absolutely leave her. Her best friend talked her out of it, reminding her that the baby inside was a LIFE-- and how could she ever deal with getting rid of a helpless life just because this scum didn't want to deal with the consequences of their actions? So [clearly] my mother decided NOT to have the abortion.

He walked away from her-- and only to find out later, he had been with another woman the entire time. His Fiancé, nonetheless- whom he ended up marrying and had two children with. [The oldest one-- is 11 months younger than I am].

The fact that this 'boyfriend' of yours is wanting you to hide the evidence just only goes to show he isn't worth the ground you're walking on. He has no respect for you, for his wife, or for the child he helped create-- REGARDLESS of the fact that you were told that you couldn't conceive. If that's the case, then by all means, this is a life you should be treasuring, not throwing away. Tell him to hit the road-- and if his wife is smart enough to figure things out, she'd be smart enough to get rid of him, too.

[AngelEyes2885]

I don't think you should get rid of the baby.. and if his wife takes everything from him then he deserves it because he shouldn't be cheating on her anyway! I think if you want to keep the baby that's exactly what you should do.. if you want to get him to pay.. you should do that as well! I am 15 weeks and it is a great feeling to know you have something growing inside you.. and if you weren't suppose to be able to have a baby then it is even more of a miracle!! Congrats.. don't let him bring you down!

[charlotte234s]

I agree with every person who has posted here.

Abortion or childbirth is YOUR CHOICE. DO NOT let anyone else tell you what you should or have to do.

He was just using you and now doesn't want to deal with the consequences.

[talaniman]

He is mad because his good time is over, and the sh8t will hit the fan. Have the baby and give this love child much love no matter what he does.

[Bdfoster31]

If you get an abortion, all you are going to feel is regret. DON'T DO IT! If you don't want the baby, at least put it up for adoption, but don't have an abortion.

Now on to the real answer. If you want the baby, keep it. Even if that means he's going to lose everything from his wife. Boo hoo. Should have thought about that before he decided to be with you. That's a bad reason to get rid of a baby.

[charlotte234s]

Don't push things on people. Abortion isn't the issue here. Also,There are currently around 600,000 American chilredn in foster care and 200-250,000 waiting for an adoption or permanent home.


She already said she wants to keep the baby, all we all want her to do is follow her own heart, conscience, and thoughts, not her idiot boyfriend and his selfish plans.

[capricornbaby]

I had my first OB/GYN visit today. I am due around August 1st. Thanks for all the great advice you guys. I have decided to keep my baby and he can go to hell. He was screaming at me today but I really don't care anymore cause I have someone more important now. Plus my blood pressure is really high

[OlivesNCream]

I had my first OB/GYN visit today. I am due around august 1st. Thanks for all the great advice you guys. I have decided to keep my baby and he can go to hell. He was screaming at me today but i really don't care anymore cause i have someone more important now. Plus my blood pressure is really high

Congrats to you then :)

Stress might be related to your blood pressure being so high [I'm not sure how pregnancy plays into that- if it affects your BP or not], but that's quite understandable considering the situation you have been in.

You're absolutely right- that baby IS more important. Definitely ignore his idiocy and selfishness- he doesn't deserve this child OR you.

[shygrneyzs]

Watch your blood pressure carefully. That is a risk indicator. I am sure he is stressing you out with the screaming and carrying on like a crazed maniac. You can shut the door on him. His wife will find out sooner or later - when you serve child support papers on him - which you should do. That support is for the welfare of his child and he owes that much to this child. Even if he would terminate his parental rights, he still is responsible for the child support. Don't let him slide out on that one. He is a scumbag, I agree. When his wife finds out he will be a homeless scumbag.

Make sure you remain healthy. Pre-natal vitamins, good nutrition, exercise, as stress free as you can be. I am sorry that this happened to you.

[Fr_Chuck]

First I am glad you are getting a lot of support from people who are supportive. This is a hard time, and the only selfish person was the man who wanted you to have an abortion. As you already stated, you want the baby and know the importance of it. I am sorry that one poster has to jump in after each person recommended no abortion that they have to keep saying choice, I do hate people trying to push the abortion industry as a valid choice on anyone. Since adding more heart ache will never bring healing.

But the real issue is that your married boyfriend does not want his wife to know, and does not want to pay for 18 years child support, after his wife divorces him for having sex with you.

But that is his issue not yours. We all know he did not really love you, if he had, he would have first left his wife, and second he would want his child with you.

So you take care of your health and you get a DNA test and file for child support as soon as the baby is born.

[oneguyinohio]

I hope you have a beautiful baby, and am glad for you, but you knew you were with a married man regardless of if you thought you could get pregnant or not! It's not totally his fault that you got pregnant, and he is in the situation that he is.

He screwed up big time, but you helped him do it. Keep that in mind when you meet another married man.

[s_cianci]

Unfortunately you're probably right. Either way, as a father he has certain rights and responsibilities. You'll have to go to court to enforce those responsibilities and he'll have to go to court to enforce his rights (if he wishes to do so.) But he cannot compel you to get rid of the baby if that's not what you want.

[s_cianci]

Only cowards have affairs.

Lol. Had to spread it but I like this line.