[DrewM]

Last night, my girlfriend (almost for 5 months) said that she needs time to straighten out her life. Her grades aren't at her expectations, her parents, although divorced always fight, she has a job, and needs to get her "out of relationship" life straight first. I know she's really stressed.
She says she still wants to talk to me and get back with me, just wait until school is over for the holidays (Christmas) and everything will be okay again, and that she will not see other guys, date, or anything, and, like I said, when school ends in 2 weeks, we will be back together. It's strictly for her situation outside of us.
She also always tells he how much she needs me, and that "she couldn't live without me."

I also have mono, that was given to me by her. So all I can really do is lie in bed with my computer on my lap, and somehow I always tend to get my mind on her, with nothing else to do.

I trust her on getting back with me, and not seeing other guys, I'm just in a situation, that I don't understand why we can't do this together, and I really want to believe that we will get back together.

Comments or suggestions?
Thank you so much.

~Drew

[Ren Radio]

She's doing you a solid, and it's a mature decision on her part. She's taking time for herself to get her head screwed on straight, and she's telling you up front she needs space. Give it to her, be there when she needs you, and trust that while you ARE a priority, she has many other priorities too. She is simply asking you to give her a little room... so while it may be hard to do, maybe you love her enough to give her what she needs... a little peace and quiet.

Sometimes loving somebody means giving them space they need to learn and grow. Like a parent letting a child stumble taking a first few steps... or a boyfriend letting his girl focus on healing herself as she faces some difficulties.

Best of luck to you... love her patiently, and she will love you forever.

-R;)

[talaniman]

She ask for space, give it to her and don't act like a lovesick puppy about it. Enjoy your own life and friends and let her deal with the issues she is faced with. She may come back, she may not. But have a life without her in it.

[George_1950]

Last night, my girlfriend (almost for 5 months) said that she needs time to straighten out her life. Her grades aren't at her expectations, her parents, although divorced always fight, she has a job, and needs to get her "out of relationship" life straight first. I know she's really stressed.
She says she still wants to talk to me and get back with me, just wait until school is over for the holidays (Christmas) and everything will be okay again, and that she will not see other guys, date, or anything, and, like I said, when school ends in 2 weeks, we will be back together. It's strictly for her situation outside of us.
She also always tells he how much she needs me, and that "she couldn't live without me."

I trust her on getting back with me, and not seeing other guys, I'm just in a situation, that I don't understand why we can't do this together, and I really want to believe that we will get back together.

Comments or suggestions?
Thank you so much.

~Drew

There is a line in Bryan Adams' song, "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman", that I have wondered about: "hear every thought - see every dream/ 'n give her wings when she wants to fly".

[DrewM]

Hey. I got this all figured out, and we are PERFECT. Thank you all. I'll keep this here, though, if anyone else needs it. =]

Drew

[DrewM]

Me again.

Well, today, it pretty much ended. She said "it's over" and forever? "honestly, I don't know.."

I am giving her the space she needs, it's just, NEW to not have HER in my life...

[George_1950]

I wonder what is better: "I need some time" or "It's over; (forever) honestly, I don't know.." Thank goodness it only takes two to tango and not more. Drew, sounds to me that you have a good attitude about this development. I know it's not easy, but there is a wealth of information and people here that can help out.

[talaniman]

We all adjust as this happens to everyone. Read the links in my signature for good ideas.

[Ren Radio]

That's right... Drew, everyone goes through this!! So hang tight and at the risk of sounding cliche', know that everything happens for a reason.

I wish you well.

[DrewM]

Well, we still aren't back together, but I'm not sending the first text or call or anything, and she's still texting/calling me. =]

I guess this is good...

[talaniman]

I will be the first to admit that its hard to focus on a relationship, when so many things are gnawing at your sanity. Is this a reason to kick your partner to the curb? I think she took the easy way out, and has broken the bonds of a relationship, now she needs your friendship at this time. Usually I say NO Contact at this confusion, but I really think an honest dialogue needs to occur as to her wants and needs, as well as yours. Not really for her sake, but for yours, to clear the air as to why you must leave her alone. I hesitate only because I'm not sure if you are at that emotional level to take the lead and express yourself as to what needs to be done here. You being her rock after a break up is really asking way too much, causes confusion, and does absolutely nothing for the bond needed to help her in any way. I think she needs to know that, as those bonds I just spoke, of comes from going through the hard times together, and working through it, not just the fun times. I really don't think she knows that, and I'm not sure you do either.

[DrewM]

Just keeping y'all updated.

So we talked a lot today. I asked her, if the only reason she would NEVER get back with me was because she didn't love me.
She says she will always love me, but may not have TIME to date anyone... But if she did, she would want it to be me.

WHY CAN'T WE DO THIS TOGETHER? I don't... understand.

I tell her we can, and she says she doesn't have time to try and work it out right now.

I'm so awfully confused.

Oh, and she told me she loved me today, for the first time in a few days. I said it back, because I mean it, but that just adds on to the confusion of what all she said.

I know she is confused right now, but I feel like I SHOULD be able to do something, but I can't. I can only be here for her...

[talaniman]

Heal and put your life together. I can't see anything else you can do.

[mafiaangel180]

Just keeping y'all updated.

So we talked a lot today. I asked her, if the only reason she would NEVER get back with me was because she didn't love me.
She says she will always love me, but may not have TIME to date anyone... But if she did, she would want it to be me.

WHY CAN'T WE DO THIS TOGETHER? I don't... understand.

I tell her we can, and she says she doesn't have time to try and work it out right now.

I'm so awfully confused.

Oh, and she told me she loved me today, for the first time in a few days. I said it back, because I mean it, but that just adds on to the confusion of what all she said.

I know she is confused right now, but I feel like I SHOULD be able to do something, but I can't. I can only be here for her...

I'm going through the same thing and I feel your pain brutha. Ex with a full plate that says he still loves me but can't have a relationship. It's hard. Because you just don't know WHY you can't be around. I still don't know what to do... because there's nothing more I CAN do. You just got to believe that you were the best that you could be for that person during the time you were together, do NC -- leave it to fate-- and just start focusing on you.

[DrewM]

So last night, we were talking, and I was at a friends house, and this girl Kayla asked "who are you on the phone with? Is that your girl?" I didn't know what to say.

Later on the phone Leeanne (the girl this whole thing is about) says "I'm kind of your girlfriend, if that's okay with you?"

??

[George_1950]

She craps all over your yard and wants to shove your face in it?

[talaniman]

You didn't bother to read the links to the sticky's did you. No wonder your still not getting it.