[macamaca92]

Okay so this girl liked me 4 about a year and I had 2 turn her down so many times but when I finally asked her out and liked her back she dumped me after a few weeks I think maybe a month now I think the reason she doesn't like me is cause she likes the fact that I like her and if she did decide to go out with me again then she would basically be in control...
So how should I go about this I mean I don't know if anyone knows what I'm talking about case you don't know this girl and I do but I think if I pretended I didn't like her she would come back to me and tell her she liked me again cause she liked me after 2 weeks of me being at my new school and has liked me up until she broke up with meso she liked me for a year and a month...
So should I pretend I don't like her and wait for her to come back to me or should I just keep telling her how much I like her and see if she ever eventually likes me back
You might not be able to help cause youu don't know what I'm talking about really but if you think you can help reply please thanks

[CaptainForest]

George,

From what you have said here, I would say:

- don't TELL her how much you like her, since obivouslly that proablly won't work

Threrefore, you should:
- pretend you don't like her so she will come back to you.

However,
- Are you sure this is what you want? Do you really want a girlfriend who is that controlling? If she is controlling about this, what will she be like when you 2 are dating?

[nymphetamine]

No control freaks please! Here's what it is. She could be bored with you if you're always up in her grill. Maybe her going out with you and then dumping you was her way of getting back at you for turning her down so many times. Sounds kind of dumb but people do dumb stuff all the time. You can not let her have complete control of the relationship because it makes you look like a complete doormat. No girl wants to date a door mat. Maybe she's wanting you to be more of a man and tell her how things are going to be.

[PrettyLady]

okay so this girl liked me 4 about a year and i had 2 turn her down so many times but when i finally asked her out and liked her back she dumped me after a few weeks i think maybe a month now i think the reason she doesn't like me is cause she likes the fact that i like her and if she did decide to go out with me again then she would basicly be in control...
so how should i go about this i mean i dont know if anyone knows what im talking about case you dont know this girl and i do but i think if i pretended i didnt like her she would come back to me and tell her she liked me again cause she liked me after 2 weeks of me being at my new school and has liked me up until she broke up with meso she liked me for a year and a month....
so should i pretend i dont like her and wait for her to come back to me or should i just keep telling her how much i like her and see if she ever eventually likes me back
you might not be able to help cause youu dont know what im talking about really but if you think you can help reply please thanks

I'm assuming your really young. Don't wait for your ex girlfriend to come back to you. You need to stop dwelling on what could have or might have happened with your ex and carry on. Devote more time to other activities and enjoy spending time with your friends. Relax and stop thinking of the past. Your ex has moved on and so should you. Your going to have many crushes in your life, I'm sure you will meet someone new at your school.

[fredg]

Hi,
I do know what you are talking about, cause I'm 63 yrs old, and been there... done that; many yrs ago, many times with girls.
It's a "game", and you are caught up in it.
I have found that being honest, be yourself, respectful, and caring for others will eventually lead you to the same type of girl. This one isn't she.
Are you sure you want this girl to be your girlfriend? I really think you can find someone else who will have all the qualities I mentioned.
Try meeting new girls and talking with them. You will find one that is right for you. I do wish you the best of luck, and hang in there. There will be many girls in your life!

[DJ 'H']

That happened to me once when I was at school. This guy Gareth really like me - and did so for ages. My friend told me so but I shrugged it off and I did not even think I was attracted to him in that way. Eventually I realised I was and asked him out - only to have him turn around and say no.

I went to a party and Garteh and I ended up kissing. I was so excited - but he ignored me for the rest of the night after that. This happened a couple of times after this party until I basically wised up and told him where to go. I was a fool later after leaving school though. We got back in touch and starting hanging out. I thought he had seriously changed and he invited me over to his house to watch a film. Things happened and he said we would meet the next day and lead me to believe that we were now seeing each other. He never called and refused to answer mine. So I sent him a really humilating text and did not hear from him again - until he happened to be out one night for Karaoke and happened to be sitting on the same table as my friends. I went up to chat to my friends (and to add I was all done up and looking pretty good) and I did not even acknowledge him. He did not know where to look. I turned my back for 5mins and when I came back he had left. I did have a little chuckle to myself.

This girl sound like she is doing a similar thing - playing with your emotions. She either does not know what she wants or how she really feels about you - or she is just "Having some fun" at your expense.

Is this something you really want? To have someone pick you up and drop you whenever they feel like it? Having had a similar thing happen to me I know how it feels and believe me - it just ain't worth it.

[Chery]

I'm assuming your really young. Don't wait for your ex girlfriend to come back to you. You need to stop dwelling on what could have or might have happened with your ex and carry on. Devote more time to other activities and enjoy spending time with your friends. Relax and stop thinking of the past. Your ex has moved on and so should you. Your going to have many crushes in your life, I'm sure you will meet someone new at your school.

I agree, this girl is testing her power over boys in general, so it's time for you to get used to the fact that this will happen more than you'd like.

I love it when people say, "you probably don't know what I'm talking about,but", stuff - A fact of life - WE DO KNOW what you are talking about, because we've been there, done that and learned from our experience, therefore feel completely justified in giving advice and trying to help you get over what we've been through already. Guess what, your parents also went through these stages in their lives and they probably are just as apprehensive and wish that they could spare you these experiences, but there is no way. We each have these trials and tribulations to go through and it's upon us on how we handle it. Your generation is lucky in the aspect that there are forums such as these that do share their past experiences and hope that things will be a little easier for you. Some of us did not have understanding parents, or forums for help, and still survived. You'll do OK, don't worry. Keep a level head on your shoulder, and first and foremost think about career and future and self-esteem. Once that is established your confidence will grow and you'll pick the right person to share your future with. Good Luck.

Happy Holidays!

[vinceschilke]

:confused: :confused: The same thing happened to me a couple months ago. This girl kept on telling me to ask her out and then finally when I did we went out for 1 day less than a month. A few days before we broke up, she told me not to break up with her, then a few days later she broke up with me because her ex-boyfriend told her he liked her again. Now, being a couple months later, he has new friends that are girls and she doesn't talk to him as much. Me and my ex-girlfriend hang out almost everyday, and I told her I was going to ask her out soon and she said no, not now. And she keeps on saying that we're best friends, but every time we hang out alone, we end up making out. I am so confused. Everyday I tell this girl I love her, then later she asked me why I love her. And then she said that no one has ever been able to answer why they love her and if someone could answer that then she would lover them forever. She asked me why I loved her, so I told her that I love her because I can feel comfortable talking to her. When we broke up I cried on the phone and in front of her, so I told her I also love her because I can feel comfortable crying around her. Then right after she said "all I wanted was mike (her exboyfriend before me) to say that. So right there is a mean thing to do. Now being a few days later she acts like I never said that, and could care less. The only thing she said after I said that was "was that hard to say?" And she told me she would love someone forever if they could tell her why they loved her, I told her, and now she acts like nothing happened. I don't know if I love her, but she's all I think about and I feel like I can be who I want to be around her. Please help me with what to do! I'm so confused :confused:

[talaniman]

We men are so easy when we are young, and our hormones are raging!Young guys give yourself a break.Your body mind and soul is awakening with a whole new feeling now!As you enter the mating time you fall in love with any female that says boo to you.Get a grip, All us males go through the same thing its called growing up and its only natural to feel these things.And guess what -when the object of your affections goes in another direction its not the end of the world.Matter of fact its only the beginning.I know you feel so strong about these emerging feelings that you can't think straight can't eat,can't sleep,don't really know what to do.You fall in love so easily when your young and don't know a thing about love.The girls aren't helping at all becauce they are going through the same thing you are,so what a mess.Raging hormones all around!Sooner or later we all grow out of it and as we mature we start to develop our own way of being human,We all need somebody and as we find that some one to grow with, we move beyond the kid stuff into the adult realm of relationships,so welcome to the real world!The world of grown people who don't have a clue but have to somehow keep going on no matter what!That's just life!:cool:

[DJ 'H']

:confused: :confused: The same thing happend to me a couple months ago. This girl kept on telling me to ask her out and then finally when I did we went out for 1 day less than a month. A few days before we broke up, she told me not to break up with her, then a few days later she broke up with me because her ex-boyfriend told her he liked her again. Now, being a couple months later, he has new friends that are girls and she doesnt talk to him as much. Me and my ex-girlfriend hang out almost everyday, and I told her I was going to ask her out soon and she said no, not now. And she keeps on saying that we're best friends, but everytime we hang out alone, we end up making out. I am so confused. Everyday I tell this girl I love her, then later she asked me why I love her. And then she said that no one has ever been able to answer why they love her and if someone could answer that then she would lover them forever. She asked me why I loved her, so I told her that I love her because I can feel comfortable talking to her. When we broke up I cried on the phone and in front of her, so I told her I also love her because I can feel comfortable crying around her. Then right after she said "all I wanted was mike (her exboyfriend before me) to say that. So right there is a mean thing to do. Now being a few days later she acts like I never said that, and could care less. The only thing she said after I said that was "was that hard to say?" And she told me she would love someone forever if they could tell her why they loved her, I told her, and now she acts like nothing happend. I dont know if I love her, but she's all I think about and I feel like I can be who I want to be around her. Please help me with what to do! I'm so confused :confused:

This girl is just playing games with you. She likes the attention and she likes the control.

Forget her and concentrate on yourself. Love is a very complex thing and you always know without certainty when you are in love. The fact that you are not sure suggests to me that you are not in love with her; you are just desperate to give your love to someone and for some reason you want it to be her.

This just really is not worth pursuing - you will end up more hurt and confused. Please don't do it to yourself. I have bee in your position and really do wish I had had someone to steer me in the right direction - would have saved myself a lot of bother, heartache & hurt.

[bizygurl]

Personally I wouldn't waste anytime with this girl. If she's that much into games, than what will it be like if you two do get into some sort of relationship. Like Chery said, we do know what your talking about and wee've been there done that and learned from them. I've been through it many times not just with the opposite sex but with other woman who claim to be my friends than turn around and act as if they aren't. Its all games which mean drama. If it were me, I would just move on and get involved with other things and in time you'll meet someone who is genuine and won't do things like that to you. Why waste the energy?

[Chery]

:confused: :confused: The same thing happend to me a couple months ago. This girl kept on telling me to ask her out and then finally when I did we went out for 1 day less than a month. A few days before we broke up, she told me not to break up with her, then a few days later she broke up with me because her ex-boyfriend told her he liked her again. Now, being a couple months later, he has new friends that are girls and she doesnt talk to him as much. Me and my ex-girlfriend hang out almost everyday, and I told her I was going to ask her out soon and she said no, not now. And she keeps on saying that we're best friends, but everytime we hang out alone, we end up making out. I am so confused. Everyday I tell this girl I love her, then later she asked me why I love her. And then she said that no one has ever been able to answer why they love her and if someone could answer that then she would lover them forever. She asked me why I loved her, so I told her that I love her because I can feel comfortable talking to her. When we broke up I cried on the phone and in front of her, so I told her I also love her because I can feel comfortable crying around her. Then right after she said "all I wanted was mike (her exboyfriend before me) to say that. So right there is a mean thing to do. Now being a few days later she acts like I never said that, and could care less. The only thing she said after I said that was "was that hard to say?" And she told me she would love someone forever if they could tell her why they loved her, I told her, and now she acts like nothing happend. I dont know if I love her, but she's all I think about and I feel like I can be who I want to be around her. Please help me with what to do! I'm so confused :confused:

Loving someone and loving things that someone does are two different things. You can love the way she wears her hair, the way she smiles, the way she giggles, etc. But, do you love her?? Do you love the way she treats you, makes you feel comfortable, forgives you your little quirks, etc. You see when you love someone, you love the entire person, the attitude, the thought of being together forever, the little spot on their cheek or elsewhere, and above all the inner make-up of the person. When you love someone, you know what every look or expression mean without words - and that takes longer than just short of a month to 'grow' on you.
This young lady wants instant confirmation that she's the best thing walking, and has not had the time to grow up and see herself for what she really is, so how can she expect others to do so.. The next time, if there is one, ask her what she loves about herself besides the way she looks and I bet she will not be able to answer you. Or, she will come to you with a question back, i.e. "why would you ask something so stupid".. Her last biting remark to you about 'mike' is proof that she's still thinking of him and wants the answers from him, and using you as a way to get there, just a little interlude until she gets what she thinks she wants - and most want what they don't have at the moment. Beware of girls like that as they will bring you down with their own insecurities because they will always need confirmation from elsewhere. As suggested, give her up, and find someone who is not as insecure and selfish as she apparently is. Life is too short to be used as a substitute and you deserve better. Good luck, and keep us posted.

Happy Holidays!

[vinceschilke]

Today I went with her to the mall with her, our friend named pauli, her mom, and her sister. On the ride back, she told me she loved me around 5-8 times. I didn't answer either of them. Then she sent me a text message saying "im so sorry, i love you soo much. EMO NOW!!!". Emo means 'eat me out'. We made that word up so we don't actually have to say it. Anyway, Instead of texting her back I Just told her sorry for not saying I love you, and that I was a little confused. And then she said, how could you be confused about liking me? I KNEW YOU WERE LYING WHEN YOU TOLD ME WHEN YOU LOVED ME! Then I told her no, I really wasn't, honestly. Do you think I did the right thing today by not telling her I love her back? I'm just kind of upset that I hurt her a little. Please help me some more, THankyou:cool:

[CaptainForest]

This girl is just playing games with you. She likes the attention and she likes the control.

Forget her and concentrate on yourself. Love is a very complex thing and you always know without certainty when you are in love. The fact that you are not sure suggests to me that you are not in love with her; you are just desperate to give your love to someone and for some reason you want it to be her.

This just really is not worth persuing - you will end up more hurt and confused. Please don't do it to yourself. I have bee in your position and really do wish I had had someone to steer me in the right direction - would have saved myself a lot of bother, heartache & hurt.

I agree. Forget her and move on, she's playing mind games with you.

Just using you while she and Mike go thro a rough period. Move on to find someone else.

[CaptainForest]

today i went with her to the mall with her, our friend named pauli, her mom, and her sister. On the ride back, she told me she loved me around 5-8 times. I didn't answer either of them. Then she sent me a text message saying "im so sorry, i love you soo much. EMO NOW!!!". Emo means 'eat me out'. We made that word up so we dont actually have to say it. Anyway, Instead of texting her back i Just told her sorry for not saying i love you, and that i was a little confused. And then she said, how could u be confused about liking me? I KNEW YOU WERE LYING WHEN YOU TOLD ME WHEN YOU LOVED ME! Then I told her no, i really wasnt, honestly. Do you think I did the right thing today by not telling her i love her back? I'm just kind of upset that i hurt her a little. Please help me some more, THankyou:cool:

She's just using you. She doesn't really care for you all that much. Move on from her and find yourself someone who actually can actually care about YOU and not someone hooked up on their old boyfriend.

[CaptainForest]

She asked me why I loved her, so I told her that I love her because I can feel comfortable talking to her.

........I told her I also love her because I can feel comfortable crying around her.

I feel so comfortable talking with my cousins dog. Here me out, I love this dog, she listens to me and never judges me. I think I want to marry this dog.

To be in love with someone, it has to be more than just feeling comfortable talking with them. And if that's all it is (plus the crying thing), then I doubt you love her. From the sounds of it, you seem young (as in teenager?)

Then right after she said "all I wanted was mike (her exboyfriend before me) to say that.

Yes... she is so over Mike. (sarcasm)

[DJ 'H']

I feel so comfortable talking with my cousins dog. Here me out, I love this dog, she listens to me and never judges me. I think I want to marry this dog.

To be in love with someone, it has to be more than just feeling comfortable talking with them. And if thats all it is (plus the crying thing), then I doubt you love her. From the sounds of it, you seem young (as in teenager?)



Yes......she is so over Mike. (sarcasm)

Totally agree.

You did the right thing - as hard as it was for you. Just be strong and don't go back on your actions. Stick with it and things will get better. Keep yourself occupied and she calls or texts don't answer or respond - delet her number if you have to.

You will be fine, I promise you and at some point the girl for you will walk into your life.

[bizygurl]

Do you really love her? Loving someone and caring about someone are two different things. To be honest sweetie, judging by your posts it sounds as though that maybe your not really in love with her, you obviously care about her but I can tell you aren't in love. If you were in love you wouldn't have to wonder about it and be confused on whether or notyou should say it or not. Saying you love someone should be natural and not forced or you shouldn't have to wonder about saying it in the first place. This girl hasn't treated you very well, do you really truly love someone who is going to treat you like that? Save it for someone you respect and she respects you. No one should throw the "L" word around lightly.

[DJ 'H']

Do you really love her? Loving someone and caring about someone are two different things. To be honest sweetie, judging by your posts it sounds as though that maybe your not really in love with her, you obviously care about her but I can tell you aren't in love. If you were in love you wouldn't have to wonder about it and be confused on wether or notyou should say it or not. Saying you love someone should be natural and not forced or you shouldn't have to wonder about saying it in the first place. This girl hasn't treated you very well, do you really truely love someone who is going to treat you like that? Save it for someone you respect and she respects you. No one should throw the "L" word around lightly.

I will second that!!

[Chery]

today i went with her to the mall with her, our friend named pauli, her mom, and her sister. On the ride back, she told me she loved me around 5-8 times. I didn't answer either of them. Then she sent me a text message saying "im so sorry, i love you soo much. EMO NOW!!!". Emo means 'eat me out'. We made that word up so we dont actually have to say it. Anyway, Instead of texting her back i Just told her sorry for not saying i love you, and that i was a little confused. And then she said, how could u be confused about liking me? I KNEW YOU WERE LYING WHEN YOU TOLD ME WHEN YOU LOVED ME! Then I told her no, i really wasnt, honestly. Do you think I did the right thing today by not telling her i love her back? I'm just kind of upset that i hurt her a little. Please help me some more, THankyou:cool:

She's taking you for a fool. She's thinking about that Christmas gift that she has not received yet, and once she does, and she's not satisfied - it will EYS 'eat your self' buddy. Take it from an old lady who has (and I'm ashamed to say it now) used guys and know all the tricks, and sex always seems to get you. She also knew that this was impossible to do in a car full of people, so it was a teaser - not good. As I said before, she thinks she's the cat's cradle and will play her games with many more of you until one comes along and sees right through her. Please be kind to yourself and stop feeling sorry for her or the way you treated her. A young man like you can't say 'I love you' a million times a day and truly mean it. Don't let anyone force you into saying something you are not ready to say. So, this holiday there will be one empty chair, and you might feel a little sad. But can you truly imagine yourself with a clingy, demanding female like her for the rest of your life? Are you ready to give up friends, hobbies, time to yourself, just at her every beck and call? It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. There will be better holidays and better young ladies to come your way, so don't stress yourself. I wish you all the best and happy holidays!