[tonvwill57]

I'm 15 and pregnant. The father is only 13. My mother and his mother want us to give the baby up for adoption. My mother saids that she does not want the baby in her home. I intentionally got pregnant because I wanted a baby. Now she doesn't want me to keep it. Can she make me give it up or will the law force her to let us stay in her home.

[J_9]

While I agree with your Mom, she can't MAKE you give it up. She can make your life he11 until you decide to give it up, but you are the one who has to sign the papers, not her.

Why in the world did you think that you should have a baby at your age? How are you going to afford it? Do you even know the risks of teenage pregnancy? Nah, of course you don't.

How will you afford the NICU bill should the baby be born prematurely or with other health issues? How will you buy diapers, formula, clothes, baby food?

Wanting a baby and raising a child are 2 totally different animals.

[ScottGem]

There is another factor in this. You could be arrested and prosecuted for statutory rape. In which case your baby will probably be taken away from you.

And frankly, I think that's best thing that can happen. You are clearly not mature enough to raise a child when you are only a child yourself.

[LearningAsIGo]

Its true that your mother can't MAKE you sign your baby away. However, she will be one of the only people in the world who will be there to support you since you won't be able to do this alone or with another child who's only 13. It may be very hard, but if you want to be the best mother for this child you have to start thinking of the baby instead of yourself. Have a long talk with mom and consider your options. Its never easy, but adoption may be best. With adoptions, parents have to prove they can provide a good home--which your child deserves. I'm sorry, but without the support of your mothers, you won't be able to do this. Its time to think about what baby needs, not about what you want.

I wish you the best. Unfortunately you have a very tough life ahead of you.

[connie-mom]

Ok PEOPLE OR SO CALLED PEOPLE!! She is 15 and just found out she is pregnant she don't need you ridding her but she has got that from her mother and probbly others try some compastion for god sakes!. My dear you are very young to have a child but where there is a will there is a way I too was very young when I had my first child and my mom was telling me I should give my child up but I decied to tell her that I was leaving and made my own way... I am now a pround mother of soon to be 4 kids and have made a great living for myself but not to joke its hard you have to bust your butt and things were tight for a long time but I worked thought it and came out on top now I live across the street from my mother she still don't help me but we do talk and we do have visits but I can honestly say I did it!! As for the fauther scottgem is right you could be in trouble for that but you are both under age and can not be put in jail but you can be severely punished they probbly won't take the baby but will send you through several child classes and C.A.S will be involved but do what they ask except give babe up unless you want to.. and they will help you and to all who are being rude and judgemental get a grip like you have never did something you shouldn't have in your life!! And darling ignore people like that you don't need the stress!! And I hope things work out for you and think this through you are very young and have a big resonsibility ahead for your young shoulders you must grow up fast and know where you want to be in a couple years and what ever you do do not give up school it will be your best friend later in life.. my last question where do you live? Only give the country nothing else as other people can be freeks I was wondering as to what maye be avalible to you to help you out.

[ScottGem]

Ok PEOPLE OR SO CALLED PEOPLE!!!! she is 15 and just found out she is preg ....scottgem is right you could be in trouble for that but you are both under age and can not be put in jail ...to all who are being rude and judgemental get a grip like you have never did something you shouldn't have in your life!!!

Sorry Connie, but this is a 15 yr old girl who deliberately seduced a 13 year old boy (yes I know it probably didn't take much seducing) to get herself pregnant out of some romatic notion of what it would be like to be a mother. I don't speak for the others but I think she deserves to be told how immature and selfish and just plain dumb she has been.

And they may not put her in jail or they may. At the least she may be placed in a juvenile facility until she is 18 or 21 and who will care for the kid then? So yes, if she is convicted of statutory rape and sentenced to a facility there is a strong likelihood the baby will be taken away (as I hope it will).

I'm glad you managed to build a life for yourself, but you are the exception not the rule.

[mjl]

I do actually agree with your mom.

And as for connie-mom, they weren't being hatefull or anything, they were just telling her the truth. Sometimes it is hard to hear, but they were telling the honest truth.

Tonvwill, I hope you live in a country that has free health care, because I couldn't imagine how much it is to deliver a child in a country that doesn't. And after the child is born all of the expenses! Do you have any idea of how much it costs to raise a child?! Yet again, the tax payers of your country will probably pay for this one too.

[connie-mom]

Your right she is 15 but we expect so much from young children as the new generation what do we expect them to do... and if she is to dumb to raise a child then how does she know how to seduce a 13 year old boy like come on get a grip are you telling me you never had a one night stand? And if you did did you use protection all the time and if not how meny children could you have out there you didn't know about how about abandinment how about you go to jail for things you have done... I am not the exception I was just a young girl having sex not knowing what the concequences were till it was to late!! And how do you not know he was not to instagater!! How do you know she is not saying shw wants kids because she is now pregnant please you don't sound stupid so don't act stupid get facts before you judge it can make a difference in your life and hers how do you know she don't get so depressed she don't try to kill her self or child like get a grip she needs help not critsisim so stop being a jerk and help the poor girl I am sure we have things we all look back and go holy crap what was I thinking!! Try some compassion not blood!!

[connie-mom]

And dear child don't be ashamed of using hand me downs learn to sew stich and knit it can save you bundles and sorry the government probbly won't help you sorry for the blow but you are to young to get government help

As for mjl where do you see these so called people being nice? And as for tax payers I would give my life to another in need of help try not being greedy try giving something to another it could brighten up your day!! And as for the government helping her she would have to go to a foster home and they would have to help her just like all the other children forgotten or neglected by retarted adults who say "i can't do this so here you go take my kid" I know some parents have a very good reason to give up their child and I do agree with them but to ask a person who can rasie a child to give it up wow what a world I live in I feel sorry for my kids having to grow in a worl where people put money before a life!! I just pray my daughters never meet people like you!!

[mjl]

First of all I didn't call her stupid.

I think you have some issues if your assuming all those things like she is depressed and going to kill herself... where did you read that in her post??

And for the rest of I don't even know what you are talking about. Maybe try some better spelling and grammar, and then I'll get back to you on that.

And why are you being so critical? You abviously have something's to work out if you are taking effence to something that's not even directed at you.

You obiviously have an issue with hearing the truth about teenage pregnancy if you think that a 15 year old getting pregnant on purpose is the cool thing to do.

[connie-mom]

First I didn't say stupid try reading what is said not what you want to read and I said what if she try to kill her self and the child I din't say she was depressed and is going to try to kill her self and child!! Read what is said.. and yes I do take effence to people attacking a little girl who has asked for help and if you read you will se I said there are other ways of say things with out sounding judgemental but still get your point across and never did I say its cool if a little girls gets pregnant but things happen and you can deal with it or act like it never happened I would rather be suportive then say things like you should go to jail or have your child taken away and if you read I was a young mother so yha I do take affence to people putting down those less fourtunite.. and as for spelling wow so I spell bad try something else to pick on me for, I am a growen up and don't need to revert to childish behaveiour.

[mjl]

Why can't you understand that they weren't attacking her. They were telling her the truth. It's unfortunate that you dissagree.

[mjl]

You are too hard to have a conversation with, so good bye, I will not respond anymore.

[connie-mom]

OK thanks

[J_9]

Wow, I don't remember anyone calling her dumb, except you Connie.

And Scott, you spoke very well for me thank you. I wish I could return the favor.

I would have much more compassion for a girl who found out she was pregnant accidentally than on purpose, as is the case here.

I work in Labor & delivery (all semester) and have seen the devastating effects of young pregnant teens.

PIH (pregnancy induced hypertesion)
CPD (cephalopelvic disproportion)
Preeclampsia
Eclampsia

And the list goes on. Many of these babies can be permanently damaged by the pregnancy and birth process. A 15 year old girl is not able to deal with the permanent disabilities of Erbs Palsy for instance.

This girl delibirately seduced a 13 year old for heavens sake. I guess you don't think it a problem if your 13 year old is a father in 6th or 7th grade, do you?

As Scott said, she may or may not go to jail, but she does have the possibility of being labeled as a sex offender for the rest of her life.

[connie-mom]

First never called anyone dumb or stupid!!

And yes I do agree being young can cause real problems in the pregnancy and in delivery but how do you know she is the one who seduced it could have been him... and how do you know she wanted this baby before she got pregnant some children saythings to make a point... and if she was to give up the child she is still going to have to go through the pregnancy and delivery so why not give her the cahnce to be a mother if she can't do it then yes she should give the child up but if she has come for help why hinder her by saying mean things with out the full story? If my daughter was 15 and pregnant of course I would freek!! But I would also support her in her dession.. we buy little baby dolls and baby things for our children to play with but expect them to not want children till they are ready? What are we trying to say learn to look after a baby but don't have one? They have toy babies that pee and eat and cry really what is that saying when we but it for our kids? And why blame the child how do youknow that the parents did what they should have to provent this from happing? With out the full story why judge why not give her advise like

Being young theitr could be complication like this this and this or because you are 15 and he is 13 you could be in trouble with the law or being young and your body not ready to have a child you could have this this or this happen that is a nice way of say what you would like to say not to hurt her feelings or sound like a complete jerk as I said there are always was of saying things with out being mean and doit in a way so a 15 year old gets the message you are trying to say not getting you bad bla bla bla she needs help in understanding her situation not what you think should happen to her and the child.. that is not your choice its hers she has to know what she could be infor before she makes any dession try telling her the complication and explain them to her explain what could happen during delivery if you know so much explain it in lamens terms so she knows if she is to young to have a child she is to young to know the full extent of what might happen so tell her help her understand why you have said what you did explain to her the procedure of what might happen and what might happen to the child if she goes thorough with this... That si what she needs to hear not your bad you seduce another child you might go to jail you might loose the child tell her medical stuff to help her understand what might happen to her and child to get your point across people will tell her till they are blu in the face and it won't make a defference BTU to explain some things to her she might make a good dession

[connie-mom]

. I don't speak for the others but I think she deserves to be told how immature and selfish and just plain dumb she has been.

And they may not put her in jail or they may. At the least she may be placed in a juvenile facility until she is 18 or 21 and who will care for the kid then? So yes, if she is convicted of statutory rape and sentenced to a facility there is a strong likelihood the baby will be taken away (as I hope it will).

I'm glad you managed to build a life for yourself, but you are the exception not the rule.

I believe this is you calling someone dumb!! Not me what I said was if she is dumb then how can she seduce onther person?

[J_9]

and if she is to dumb to raise a child

Basically those were your words.

She was irresponsible in getting pregnant. By a 13 year old no less. She manipulated him so that she could have a baby, because she WANTS one.

Gimme a break Connie, she wanted a baby, but most likely does not know what all having a child entails.

You are new here... we see girls who want a baby for many reasons...

Love cause they think the baby will love them... heck a baby doesn't know what love is, they do know however where their food comes from...

Cause they're so cute... heck babies aren't cute when they weigh 1 1/2 pounds and are in the NICU for 4 months ringing up a bill close to a million dollars

Cause it'll make my boyfriend stay with me... in all actuality, most partners don't stay together for the duration of the pregnancy.

The mother in this case is right wanting to give the baby up for adoption for many reasons...

She may not be able to afford to raise this child. How is a 15 year old and a 13 year old going to get jobs, go to school, and afford to raise a child.

The mother may be trying to protect her child from being labeled as a child molester.

And there may be other reasons behind this. From being a 43 year old mother and a nurse myself, I have seen this frequently. I have also learned a lot from being here on this website.

These 2 children are not able to raise a child as they are children themselves.

[J_9]

how do you know she is the one who seduced it could have been him...and how do you know she wanted this baby before she got preg some children saythings to make a point....

I intentionally got pregnant because I wanted a baby.

Need I say more?

And, yes Connie, your posts are very hard to read. Could you please use some punctuation and paragraphs? Spell check works really well too.

[connie-mom]

So explain that tell her your experance if you want her to see the big picture you have to paint it!! Just telling her she is wrong and she is silly for doing what she did is not going to get the point across tell her what you have seen as a nurse go into details paint a picture for her so she knows what she is doing and might have to do because this or that reason... and right I did say if IF!! She is to dumb which is what scottgem said then how can she seduce some one? But neither here or there she needs to be told the truth yes but explain it tell her the complications and what might happened after, HELP HER!!