[McNuggy@LMC]

Hi there... this is my first and maybe my last post here... I was redirected to this site from a website called www.hell.com quite funny that that site was recommended to me by my ex... who by chance happens to still be one of my closest and must trustworthy friends... at the hell.com website you are asked what it is you seek... well I asked the same question as I wrote up there... and here I am... for some reason I was taken to a page from here that had the question from a young bloke asking that he was still in love with his ex... to which a quite intelligent post was posted by someone here named cheree or cherie... well done on that post by the way... and I struck a bit of a chord in me as to why I`m still in love with my ex and why it is that we are still solid and unshakeable friends... so here goes, I won't bore you all to tears with the whole story but I`ll paint enough of a picture to maybe give you an idea of what I`m going through and how I feel...

OK, about 18 months ago or thereabouts I was at a friends house celebrating my release from prison, a joyous occasion believe me, never again says I, drink driving and driving while disqualified is a mugs game and I firmly believe I got what I deserved... anyway... one of my female friends had a mate of hers drop by... my ex... and we struck up an immediate rapport, she had just broken up with her b/f of quite some time and was feeling a bit down, I had been out of a relationship for a few months, my then g/f had dumped me because of the whole jail situation, and we were both kind of on the rebound and feeling the same, down,confused,unhappy you know the usual post breakup feelings... anyway we talked,laughed,enjoyed each others company, enjoyed the night and went our separate ways after the night was over... no we didn't sleep with each other on that particular night... so yes we didn't exchange numbers which was probably a smart thing to do, and didn't have any contact for a few weeks until a friends birthday came up... to my surprise she was there and we again shared a pleasant night in each others company... so much so that we didn't really talk to anyone else...

Yes well moving along from there we exchanged numbers and chatted over the phone a bit over the next few months... got to know each other better... she was at a mates house who was quite keen on her (I didn't really know because he hadn't told me... ) and when I enquired what she was up to she said not much... my mate said he was off for his evening run... so we kicked back... I asked her if she wanted a foot massage and you can imagine where it went from there... so after that we kind of had a little thing going... although we were both not really keen on jumping back into a relationship we did want to continue seeing each other, so yeah it went on, me changing my mind about wanting to be in a relationship and asking her if we should be together,she said no, which I was OK about, I was seeing another woman on the side which she knew about,she had a few male friends which I didn't care to ask what she got up to with and we were happy doing what we were doing so I left it...

A few weeks passed and she asked the same question to me, I selfishly turned her down in that stupid way males do when they have more than one woman going at the same time and it kind of caused a bit of tension between us... she hooked up with a mate... testing me I think... I did a stupid thing and slept with a girl I knew she didn't like.. testing her... and it kind of got heated but at the same time made us realise that we did indeed have solid feelings for each other... so yeah her and my friend didn't work out which I knew would happen... time went by we stayed friends, getting closer and bulding our friendship... till I got locked up again... doh... for the same reason before... driving... not drink driving... but just driving to work... hey you got to work right...

Anyway it was then that she agreed that we had been stupid, that we were both in love with each other and that when I got out we would start anew and try and work things out... time passed,she stuck with me and I got out and we started our relationship as b/f n g/f... this only lasted for a month or so and things got a little crazy... she has her life and I have mine... no biggie... it seemed that we could be awesome friends and lovers... but not partners... sad I know... I often wonder why that is... but all said even though we are not together anymore our friendship is still there and the spark is still burning bright... even though we are`nt sleeping with each other anymore the sexual tension is still strong and the temptation to break our little agreement gets pushed quite often, especially when we are partying...

My question to you so called experts is... even though it hurts me when I think that we perhaps didn't try hard enough to see whether it could work or not,and that when she tells me about this new guy she has been talking to and getting to know I feel a pang of the ole green eyes... which is totally out of character for me... should I take her back if and when she wants to try it again? I`m heart broken but not that cut up that I need to ex-communicate her totally... like I`ve said we have had time to build our friendship to a point where trust is total and our love for each other is still there regardless of whether we are together or not... really what I`m asking is... is it healthy for us to continue like that... should we back off and go our separate ways for a few weeks/months... find someone else? if only to find that if we are meant to be back together then I suppose it will happen yeah? Umm did I answer my question then?? I`m confused... anyway this ahs been a saga for you all I`m sure haha so `ill wait for your reply... thanks for your time... mcnuggy

[nymphetamine]

Do you really really love this girl? Id say go talk to her about it and try to wrk things out. Tell her honestly how you feel. It makes me sad to see people that are happy together end up miserable because they didn't want to give their relationship a try. You need to really talk and listen to each other. Try to talk about the things that made the relationship not wrk in the first place and if they are things that can be fixed then by god fix it. If she need to be away from you for a little bit then yes give the space. What is that saying? If it leaves let it go and if it comes back to you it was meant to be.

[fredg]

Hi,
Welcome to this site, and I'm sure you will get many answers. It's a great and fun site, and I do hope you come back again.
There is nothing wrong with being friends with your ex. At 63 yrs old, married 28 yrs now, I haven't seen my ex-wife (first marriage lasted 7 yrs, then divorced) in many years. But, would like to know if she is still happy, etc, etc.
The only way you will ever know about your relationship with her is to keep talking with her, and as crankiebabie said, give it some time. Eventually, both of you will know whether you want to get back together.
I do wish you the best, and hang in there. You might want to meet some new people, talk with them, and get to know some other women, too. It might help you make up your mind later.

[DJ 'H']

Two of my friends 'C' and 'R' (who funnily enough are the two acting strange with me at the mom... but anyways) they were together years ago, were very much in love but for whatever reason they split. 'R' has been married since and seeing one of my other friends 'E' earlier this year. 'C' was with another guy 'P' for 4yrs and broke up with him earlier this year because she was still in love with 'R'.

Low and behold 'R' and 'C' are back together very happy and talking about marriage. They remained friends but both went their separate ways met new people, experienced life but their paths led them back to each other. It was obviously meant to be.

You two are obviously doing the same at the moment, which is not a bad thing. If your paths lead you back to each other then you know it's meant to be if they don't then you still have a good friend there if you want it.

My best male friend 'M' is an ex. He is now engaged. He was out partying with me and boyfriend at the weekend. He is always there for me and we always have a good time together. He and I still have a very close bond and there will always be something there tying us together. 'M' and I were a great couple and we could not have doted on each other more. But we just were not meant to be as a couple; but as a soulmate maybe - whatever it is; we are certainly the best of friends.

[McNuggy@LMC]

hey there ******... look it would be wrong of me to say that your advice stinks... no offence intended okay... that said I`m of an age and maturity to know that these things are often difficult to deal with and sometimes comprehend... yes we`ve talked and yes we are still not together... I`ll give you the lowdown OK... I`m 27 years old... the clock is ticking for me,she is only twenty and has a lot of life to live yet... and yeah I believe what is meant to be is meant to be... but all told I`m afraid that if it goes on like this then all the work I`m doing to move along and find someone else will be shot down if and when that happens... I`ve met a few women since we split and the one that I did want to have a go at it has a major problem with my ex and I`s relationship... too bad I say... accept it or we arnt going to make it... and then I`ve met someone else who is quite sum ways away from me... I`m taking the time to get to know her better and things seem to be going OK so far... I believe you have to be friends first and foremost before you jump into anything major... so all told I`m confused and don't know what is going to happen... I don't want this to hold me back and I won't let it... I just don't want anything wrong to go wrong at the worst possible time... arrrrghhh women... u are a f**king mystery to me... hope you aren't offended... thanks again... mcnuggy

[DJ 'H']

No worries - glad I could be of help to you!

Australia is an amazing country by the way. I had the best time travelling there - definitely coming back some when :cool:

[nymphetamine]

Im not offended honey. You are exactly right. I wish you good luck

[s_cianci]

It actually sounds like the two of you have a healthy relationship and it's unclear just what went wrong between the two of you. I'd stand by if I were you and maintain your friendship with her. You may eventually be able to rekindle the old spark and turn it into something lasting. Good luck!

[McNuggy@LMC]

Like its says... seeing I was replying to a post that I set... whats the problem with commenting on their replies... geez... its constructive criticism mate... I take it as I see it... anyway I`m not going to argue because seeing as you seem to be an admin you`ll probably ban me from here... I`ve taken note and will not post peoples names again... sorry

[PrettyLady]

McNuggy, you must love your body to wear that avatar on this site. You might think it's cute, but some users could be offended by your half naked avatar. Please cover up, this is a family oriented site.

[McNuggy@LMC]

Hahaha... yeah sorry petite... heh a narcissist I`m not... and yeah I take care of myself... but all the same the pic has been changed, considering what you said is relevant totally, apologies to all the offended kids and parents out there... ladies... drop me a line hey hahahahah :cool:

[PrettyLady]

Thank you for changing your avatar.

[fredg]

Hi,
You are 27 and feel you don't have much time left??
I am 63 yrs old, and still look forward to having a great time, do things every day, and live life to it's fullest.
You have a long way to go yet. Please don't "rush" into anything. I do hope you have a great time, and good luck.

[karlz86]

Hey all and thank you for your posts to mcnuggy. Our story is a long one, but worth it I think. I think that it is important to be friends with your ex's in all honesty. I value our friendship very much, even though we aren't together. I don't see the point in not talking to each other. And yes we do still love each other even though it is only as friends it is still special. I may have moved on but that won't interfere with what we do have.

I don't want u to have to be jelous, u should really feel that way anyway I come and visit you more than I ever visit anyone else, spend heaps more time with you than I do anyone else. So don't cry cookie SMILE :p

So be happy and just think about when we are old and wrinkley having a few drinks in our rocking chairs, how proud we were that we kept this special friendship! From your friend 4 life xxxx

[McNuggy@LMC]

See what I mean... cheers for posting... I was so embarressed that I told you I posted here hahah... anyway let this be a lesson to you all... friends first... lovers and partners second... that way even if it doesn't work the relationship you have with that someone will always stay true regardless of time/distance/new relationships... bye y`all :)

[s_cianci]

Hey all and thank you for your posts to mcnuggy. Our story is a long one, but worth it i think. I think that it is important to be friends with your ex's in all honesty. I value our friendship very much, even though we arn't together. I dont see the point in not talking to each other. And yes we do still love each other even though it is only as friends it is still special. I may have moved on but that wont interfere with what we do have.

I don't want u to have to be jelous, u should really feel that way anyway i come and visit you more than i ever visit anyone else, spend heaps more time with you than i do anyone else. So dont cry cookie SMILE :p

So be happy and just think about when we are old and wrinkley having a few drinks in our rocking chairs, how proud we were that we kept this special friendship!! From your friend 4 life xxxx

So what the heck's the problem? Why aren't you together? It sounds like the two of you have what it takes to make it in the complicated world of love and romance.