[BarrelRacinGrl]

Hi Y'all :)


Well, where to start? Okay, I've been engaged for over a year now, and Johnny (my finace) recently enlisted in the National Guard and is currently undergoing AIT, soon to graduate on Dec. 17... He and I are to be wed on Sept 6, 2008 and we both can't wait for it to come soon enough! We will be moving in a new house in the spring, and he won't likely be deployed for 2 years so that he can get his college education , etc. I will be going to college as well, part time at least with a part time job.

Since Johnny is in the National Guard, there won't be any base hopping, and he will only be gone one weekend per month. He also has a secure job back here at home that pays fairly well, so we are well off.

A roommate will be joining us in our new house to help bump off costs and to save gas on transportation and so on and forth.

Johnny has always wanted kids, and I do too but I wasn't really planning on having a kid until Johnny was finished with serving the country because I wanted our future kids to have a Dad that's actually there and not have to worry about if he'll home back home or not n etc.

Also it's extremely important to me... that if I become pregnant, he has to be there for the delievery.

However the time span we are talking about is well 8 years and that can be a long time to wait, and he really wants to have a family going before he gets deployed, "just in case" is what he would say, but truthfully, its just something he wants more than anything in the world.

As for me, due to my past, it just feels like I'm afraid of the "unknown", and I just want to be a great, loving mom, I love kids, however I won't deny that babies under a year old make me apprehensive because I'm unsure whether if I'm doing the right thing or not. Maybe it'll be different if it was my own? Someone once told me, the greatest risk of all is not taking one.

So, Johnny and I have decided that we would try for a baby after we got married. Its scary and exciting all at the same time.

So the question I'm trying to get across is, how do you get pregnant, exactly? Do you just keep trying? Does it actually take over a year to get pregnant? Also since we're planning to try for one 10 months from now, should I stop using my BC patch? What is suggested to be done? Any preparations I should be aware of? Has any one with army life had this kind of situation? How do I know if I can even have a baby?

My mother had problems with her uterus and my dad had low sperm count and therefore it took them 5 years to finally have me and I'm the only child... I'm worried that it has been passed on to me.

If I dragged this out too much, I'm sorry, I'm just full of mixed emotions :confused: and I like to do my "homework", I'm not just covering the fincial stablitlity bases, but the emotional, mental, physcial ones as well.

Your help would be GREATLY appreciated! :D

[MMJenkins]

Wow, sounds like a lot at once...
First off.. Best of luck with the wedding and the house.
In answer to your question - no, you can get pregnant immediately! I did, the first time with my husband (not planned, but a blessing none-the-less).
Before you consider trying to get pregnant - be sure to stop taking any oral contraceptives and lose the patch. There can be side effects if you become pregnant while on the patch or oral contraceptives so you'll want it all out of your system before you start trying.
Second, stress will make things way to difficult for you both. Be relaxed and comfortable with one another and you will get pregnant when the time is right.

Hope this helps!

[mjl]

Take pre-natal vitamins. They are known to boost your fertility. Get lots of exercise, that helps too. Don't stress out over trying to get pregnant, it only makes it harder. Have the motive where your not "trying" to get pregnant, but your "not trying not" to get pregnant. So that your not worring about it all the time.

[J_9]

Okay, while this is all great advice, let me clear up a few misconceptions.

1) Birth control does not have any adverse effects to baby should you become pregnant while on them. This is a myth.

2) Prenatal vitamins do not boost your fertility, if they did, fertility specialists would not make the big bucks. HOWEVER, what they do, and mjl is right in that you should begin taking them now, is that they prevent neural tube defects, specifically the folic acid. Neural tube defects appear in the very early weeks of pregnancy, many times we don't even realize we are pregnant when they appear, and they are non-reversible.

You have a lot of questions and concerns, and that is good, very good actually. Now, your father having a low sperm count will not effect you. But your mother's uterus may. Are you seeing a GYN yearly now? If not, you should be. Once you become sexually active you should have your pelvic exam done yearly.

Now, for your other questions. It does not take everyone a year of trying, this is just an average. If that were the case, we wouldn't see pregnant 11 year olds would we? (yes, I just delivered a baby whose mother was 11 the other week).

How do you get pregnant exactly? You know about the birds and the bees don't you? Penis in vagina = pregnancy.

If you are planning to have a baby over 10 months from now, I suggest you stay on your birth control until you are ready to become pregnant. You don't want a baby in 9 months, you just want to start trying in 10.

For the rest of your questions I recommend you go to your OB/GYN for a prenatal screening. The answers to those questions are impossible for us to answer as we do not know your complete medical history, nor can we do a physical exam.

I want to applaud you for taking your health into your own hands and asking questions and trying to get answers BEFORE you are pregnant.

Good luck with the wedding and the house. And I hope you get all you wish for.

[shygrneyzs]

I got pregnant while on the pill, so finding out there was reason behind the morning sickness was a shock. A good one though. You could have "inherited" some of your mother's problems. The best one to ask is your ob/gyn. Doing a thorough history of you and your family will give him/her a good understanding of what you may or may not be facing.

When you are ready to start your family, yes, stop the pill or any other birth control device. Using the pre natal vitamins is a great idea. Keep in shape, eat healthy, good rest, all that advice. AS stress free as possible. Don't get over anxious if you do not conceive right away.

About child rearing, oh my, you are going to get a 1000 suggestions on what to do and when to do it. Trust your doctor and your pediatrician and your instincts. I raised my first on Dr. Spock and the second one on Dr. Brazelton. They both survived in spite of it. Lol.
When in doubt, that is what the phone is for and that is why there are professionals.

Learning some basics in baby care can never be harmful - infant CPR for one should be a definite consideration as well as a standard first aid. The hospitals offer those types of classes as well as public health, american red cross, etc. One of the hospitals here just ran a class on well baby care - a four week session of two hours a session. There are other classes like that.

So take a deep breath and relax. Enjoy all of this to the fullest. The engagement, the wedding, and the new life as husband and wife, and then as parents. The very best to you.