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AustProd6 · Nov 26, 2007, 01:28 PM

OK Little History.
I am a Dumpee, Went of the planet with nc (except with my kids) immediately after being dumped 4 1/2 months ago. Were together 18 years (except for the 13 other times she left me. BPD). She has Reached out with texts at times over the last 4 months. I ignored them.

Ok My kids called last night while I was at my GF's Daughters Birthday Party. After 2 Months with my GF I finally told them I had a GF openly.

My Q is. How much sting will my admission be of having a GF be to my female Ex?

How much more sting will it be to find out my GF is 6 years younger than her and everything she isn't?

tylo · Nov 26, 2007, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by AustProd6

OK Little History.
I am a Dumpee, Went of the planet with nc (except with my kids) immediately after being dumped 4 1/2 months ago. Were together 18 years (except for the 13 other times she left me. BPD). She has Reached out with texts at times over the last 4 months. I ignored them.

Ok My kids called last night while I was at my GF's Daughters Birthday Party. After 2 Months with my GF I finally told them I had a GF openly.

My Q is. How much sting will my admission be of having a GF be to my female Ex?

How much more sting will it be to find out my GF is 6 years younger than her and everything she isn't?

It sounds like, how much do you want it to sting?

If not, don't rub it in her face, don't blab on about how much younger she is... just don't bring it up. Never mention it if you can.
And don't let your GF throw it about either. She may not be everything your GF is but, live and let live. Just think about how well you've come off from this.
You have found the girl of your dreams, you know that, you just don't need to let everyone know that! She is texting you probably because she's insecure, she probably doesn't want YOU, but is just unsure about what she's done.
And yes, she'l probably not admit it, but she maybe slightly jealous that you'v landed on your feet.
Remember she was in a relationship for 18yrs too, just because she did the dumping, doesn't mean she has any less feelings. (unless I'm totally wrong and she's a , lol)

To be honest, if you have gone for someone younger (whatever your reason is). She will probably try to justify it by slagging you off, i.e. remarks about a midlife crisis.

She might not, but if your asking how a woman's head works, that's what I, and many other girls I know would think and do.

Im not an expert, but that's what I would think
Hope you don't think I'm a cow for being honest

Does any of it make any sense? Let me know if not, and I'll stop giving people advice lol

Good Luck

AustProd6 · Nov 26, 2007, 11:23 PM

By the way Ex Doesn't know just yet that GF is 6 years younger, just that I have a GF.
The age thing will come up when my ex finally lets me see my 3 girls.

Do I want it too Sting? Hell Yes. She did a midnight bolt and gutted the house while I was away on business for 2 days.
Am I throwing it in her face? Hell NO. I have been dating newby for 2 months and she only found out yesterday by accident.
Am I going through a mid life crisis? No Just extremely lucky and count my blessings daily. Apart from that I am no sloutch. Newby thinks I am "the catch of the century".
Revenge is best served cold and silently
YOU A COW tylo? No not at all. I apprietiat your feedback.

I didn't specifically look for someone younger, but it was a bonus. Not to mention her beauty.
Yes am falling on my feet. In every aspect.
I was worried she would become venomious and to which extent. She is the antichrist. With no respect for anybody. (BPD really kicks in big time).

I don't want her back (Hence keeping it from her for so long).

How about the rest of you. How would you feel?

ChihuahuaMomma · Nov 27, 2007, 02:03 AM

If you feel the need to hurt her, then I honestly do not think you are fully over here or what she did to you... or you are just bitter about it.

This may not be the best time to start a new relationship. Or it could be. I don't know your whole situation. SO, I don't know.

If you want to hurt her, then yes, throw it in her face... go ahead... this will not be a good thing for your children to see, and she may tell your children these things to make them thing less of you.

Remember, your children are number one, no matter what. So think about what she could tell them before you do anything to hurt her...

AustProd6 · Nov 27, 2007, 02:45 AM

Thanks Chihuahua,
I actually am afraid of her. She is the antichrist.
More so, my children have been told more bulle than I care to defend. More so, I believe there is little that she could say that she hasn't thought up before in her fictitious mind.
My children are old enough to know the truth about what happened and realise she has a Mental problem. I don't have the finances to get my children from her, and they are too frighten to just leave. SHe is a controlling cow.
I don't want to sound like I am accusing you of just being another female on her high horse but, I have been dating GF for 2 months. If I wanted to be vindictiive I would have made it very obvious long before now.
But as I said I am afraid of this controlling, abusive cow.
And I agree, I am not over her or the hurt she caused. My GF certainly helps me through it. It is only when my ex raises its ugly head in Text or Phone calls. As soon as I see her number on my mobile I get anxious and sick feelings. I was abused mentally.

ChihuahuaMomma · Nov 27, 2007, 02:49 AM

I would just keep your relationship between the two of you and what your ex finds out she finds out. No need to throw anything in here face...

Do what you need to get your children. Are they old enough to work and help out, if they are they are also old enough to tell the judge who they want to live with...

AustProd6 · Nov 28, 2007, 03:30 AM

Update:
Ex Called last night about broken Computor.
Very humble indeed.
Not her usual overbearing self. VERY VERY humble. Noquestions from her and no info given. I actually cut conversation off very quickly but politely.

tylo · Jan 8, 2008, 04:36 PM

How's things going now?

Nosey!

AustProd6 · Jan 9, 2008, 01:33 AM

Well, Great news. My youngest Daughter has come to live with me (her chose as she is 13) Ex is absolutely livid.
I actually issued her with a DOmestic Violence Order yesterday which means she can no longer be threatening and rude on the phone.
In Australia if she breaks this order she can be charged.
Yes she is very very upset and rejected. One for the Dumpee's.
Seems my daughter had requested to live with me from day one but was threaten if she attempted to contact me.
Ex has lost the plot. My children are not commodities to be exchanged.

simoneaugie · Jan 9, 2008, 03:33 AM

But! If you are as smart as you sound and still running scared from a crazy woman? Get around it. Grow. Be a good dad. Stop the naming and the blaming, 'cause life moves forwards, not backwards. Leave her behind. Stop talking about her, thinking about her, letting her affect you.

tylo · Jan 9, 2008, 01:00 PM

Simon, totally agree

AustProd, so happy for you... hope 2008 is a good year!

AustProd6 · Jan 9, 2008, 03:32 PM

I am sorry simone, yes I still have feelings for her. I'd say she may too, although in her case it is a power or control issue. She wants me to suffer beyond belief. ENough is enough and now because my youngest is with me she sees that as rejection (which it is).
She is out of control and needs serious help although as with most who do, will not acknowledge it.