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luvinauntinva · Nov 25, 2007, 07:44 AM

My sister and bother inlaw lost custody of their kids in va dss won't let my mom have the kids she has done nothing wrong was keeping them until they placed them for adoption. They said grandparents have no rights in va the kids are 13 and 9 they have said they want to live with my mom .they said if the kids were adopted we could still see them but now nothing except they want us to tell the kids that we love them but need to stay where they are at and that they are their parents now.the new parents have told the kids that we are no longer their family and that they are. Dss told mom that she could not have the kids because she is on disability and is too old she is 57 the people who are adopting them is 63 and 47. Mom's got a custody hearing in feb but they want her to drop it .they also want the kids and their parents to get together and tell the kids good bye and that's its OK for these other people to be their parents now what rights do grandparents have in va and don't they normally try to give the children to family when there is a termantion of parental rights we all miss the kids and love them and want them to come home but we feel that they are only hurting the kids more they now have to call the other people their family and we are nothing to them we have all had are crimanal checks done and nothing came back on uswe could see them and have them up until these people got them now nothing we could be with them on their birthdays or the holidays and if we try to see the kids we get told they will bring them and stay with them we can't be alone with them does anyone have any advice to help us please:confused:

NowWhat · Nov 25, 2007, 07:52 AM

I guess I am confused. Can someone force your sister to sign away her rights? I see how someone can lose custody and kids be placed in a foster home, but to go straight to adoption?

luvinauntinva · Nov 25, 2007, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by NowWhat

I guess I am confused. Can someone force your sister to sign away her rights? I see how someone can lose custody and kids be placed in a foster home, but to go straight to adoption?

The kids have been in foster care for almost 2 years they took the kids because of drugs my mom has wanted the kids but social services wouldn't let her talk to the judge they did it and said it wasn't doable but when ever they needed someone to keep the kids they called us mom had the kids 2 summers in a row but wasn't able to get custody because they didn't want her to have them

NowWhat · Nov 25, 2007, 08:38 AM

So has your sister and bil signed over their rights?
If they haven't - then could your mom get a lawyer?
I would check that out. A lot of attorneys offer free consultations. She could check that out and see exactly what her rights are.

rpg219 · Nov 25, 2007, 08:39 AM

I'm no expert, but I would get an attorney... fast! That just doesn't sound right. Are you sure you have the whole story... or could your mom be leaving something out? Just asking... because with what you have said, it has me confused.

luvinauntinva · Nov 25, 2007, 09:03 AM

Originally Posted by rpg219

I'm no expert, but I would get an attorney...fast! That just doesn't sound right. Are you sure you have the whole story...or could your mom be leaving something out? Just asking...because with what you have said, it has me confused.

Mom's not leaving anything out we are very close the state of va terminated parental rights but not showing in court records. Said mom couldn't have the kids because of not enough money or a car but was living in a trailer on my property and I had a car and would help take care of the kids they would go to school with my kids that they are very close too alll summer they left the kids with mom and helped her by giving her foster care financial help but then changed their mind after 3 months they took the kids back and placed them back in foster home they said mom needed a bigger place so she did that and they still took the kids the kids have lived in 2 foster homes since they took them then put them into the family their with now after three days and visits with this family said they are going to be their new family my niece has stated that she wants to live with my mom dosen't like where she is at they have taken her family and friends from them and wants to change the way they are they are 13 and 9 thye didn't even call us and let us know they took the kids from my sister to see if we could take them. In November of 2005 I had custody of them and then my sister got them back and in feb of 06 they took them and wouldn't let us know so we could try to get them

N0help4u · Nov 25, 2007, 11:00 AM

It is about impossible to fight that system. You can refuse to sign the termination of rights but they will still go with the adoption. I refused to sign mine. They had my pre teenage sons for two years. They want the families to adopt so the state doesn't have to pay for their keep.
I have seen nothing but lies by the child services because they manipulate to get THEIR desired results. They are suppose to let immediate family have a fair chance to adopt before going outside the family. You say the adopting family one is older than the grandma and the other close to the same age that shows the age isn't the factor. As far as the financial, what is the adopting families financial situation? Can your sister pay support to the grandmother if she would be allowed to adopt them? That could help your case.

Also I would never tell my kids it is okay to go with that family blah, blah, blah...
I would tell them something in my own heartfelt words like you HAVE to go because dss has taken away legal rights from us. REMEMBER we will ALWAYS love you and at the (legal age 18?) you feel free to come right back!

ScottGem · Nov 25, 2007, 11:04 AM

Have you contacted an attorney? Sounds like you needonetohelp you wade through the legal mess.

Synnen · Nov 25, 2007, 12:04 PM

You'll need an attorney for this.

IF parental rights were terminated because of drugs, it's possible that DSS sees the family of the bio parents as enabling, and is afraid that the kids will go right back to their parents if a member of the family attempts to have custody.

BUT--generally, if it is proven to be a safe place for the kids, they TRY to place with extended family if they can.

I know two kids that the foster care to adoption thing worked VERY well for--the abuse that they were suffering at their parents' and grandparents' hands was sickening. It doesn't sound like that is the case in your situation, so I would really recommend getting a lawyer

N0help4u · Nov 25, 2007, 12:23 PM

If possible get a good lawyer. My own and others experience with the ones dss appoint you is they are on dss side and not yours. But it is suppose to give you more credibility than going to court without any at all.

luvinauntinva · Nov 25, 2007, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Have you contacted an attorney? Sounds like you needonetohelp you wade through the legal mess.

Yes mom's got an attorney mom doesn't have anything to do with my sister or brother in law and dss knows that dss is mad cause mom got a lawyer they want her to drop it and let these people have the kids the man is retired and the woman works for a bank the kids say she works a lot of hours and the man is with them cause he stay's home he has a 34 old daughter and 9 or 10 old grandson live in a big house but moms got a grandmas love I don't think money should be more important than love it might be hard for her at first but we have pretty muched raised the kids from the day they were born these people have had them for 3 months that's it thank you for your help

ScottGem · Nov 25, 2007, 05:53 PM

What is the attorney telling you? It certainly sounds like you pissed off DSS and they are overstepping their bounds.

luvinauntinva · Nov 25, 2007, 07:15 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

What is the attorney telling you? It certainly sounds like you pissed off DSS and they are overstepping their bounds.

Thank all of you for your help mom's lawyer has only lost 1 case in 20 some years and said he wouldn't take the case if he thought he would lose said mom has a good case do you know if there are any people that would help back up or support us when we go to court you know that might help the case. I have 3 kids that grew up with my niece and nephew they are all close and it's hard on them they don't understand what is going on they are 17' 15 and 10 they are all closethis guy that has the kids says my niece can't go skating on firdays cause he dosen't allow his woman out after dark it's very strange and a hard stituation and we just want the kids to come home it's not like they're babies and don't know us but they do and they want to be with family thanks for your help

ScottGem · Nov 25, 2007, 07:18 PM

If your atty is that good then ask HIM. He should be telling you about lining up character witnesses etc.

luvinauntinva · Nov 26, 2007, 04:30 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

If your atty is that good then ask HIM. He should be telling you about lining up character witnesses etc.

He is mom just got him back in October so we are just getting started just wondering if we should call in my sister and brother in law I think it will hurt the case if they get on the stand they haven't changed yet and don't think they will not anytime soon. Mom did get to see the kids yesterday but they said with the holidays coming up we won't be able to see them cause they will be busy so no more contact set up mom has seen them 1 time since August thank you guys for all the help you have giving I really appericiate it

N0help4u · Nov 26, 2007, 05:28 AM

Don't let dss intimidate you KEEP that lawyer. They want you to have one of their lawyers so they can walk all over you. They know they can't get away with it as easy if you have an outside lawyer and once you have them upset with you they become their own law and throw the book at you. So you need to keep that lawyer.